snide remarks

More Bitterness: Super Bowl Broadcasting Pet Peeves

2012-01-31T19:56:00.000-08:00

This isn't against any broadcasters in particular, but in the general consensus there seems to be among NFL historians that even though a Super Bowl occurred in one year, they call it the Super Bowl of the previous year. It gets especially annoying this time of year, when 'round-the-clock, so it seems, we see highlights from past Super Bowls and Super Bowl teams.

I get it that "The 1998 Vikings" is the correct or best way to refer to the 15-1 team that came a dropped interception* away from reaching the big game. But when the announcer calls the Super Bowl they failed to reach, "The 1998 Super Bowl," I just scratch my head.

More like beat it with my open palm.

It almost sorta-kinda made sense back in the day when the Super Bowl and some playoff games were the only games played after the new year. But now all of the postseason, and even some regular season games occur in the new year. We won't call the NHL finale this spring, "The 2011 Stanley Cup Finals." Nor should we call this Sunday's game, "The 2011 Super Bowl."

But people will, I'm sure. People with jobs about which I'm bitter that I don't have, and that I'm sure I could do better, even though I never proved it when I had the chance.

*That missed INT was every bit as easy as Anderson's missed FG, and it occurred afterwards, with no time for Atlanta to make a comeback. So unlike the missed FG that most historians mention, I look at THAT play as the one that really cost the Vikes a trip to the Show.

More Embittered Criticism of Broadcasters

2012-01-22T20:27:00.000-08:00

I posted on Facebook during the BCS championship game a pet peeve of mine, being committed by color analyst Kirk Herbstreit, when he said "excaped" twice in the game.

That shouldn't even be a pet peeve. Pet peeves are the little things that bug you. A national network broadcaster doing a championship game doing that is a disgrace. But then, as you may recall, I'm hypercritical of broadcasters, having been one for five years, and leaving the business despite it forever remaining in my blood.

Anyway, I have another gripe, aimed at local sportscaster Mark Rosen, as well as many others who have committed the same blunder. He said Baltimore Ravens kicker Billy Cundiff "pushed" his missed field goal (and said it twice, which is important to note, since I generally excuse mistakes when done only once, as possibly just moments of misspeaking).

The rule: It's just like in golf. When a right-footed kicker misses left, that's pulling it. When he misses right, that's pushing it.

I really need to see a therapist.

Bowling a 300: An Exercise in Probability and Statistics

2012-01-20T07:37:00.000-08:00

February 8 will mark the 24th anniversary of my first and only sanctioned 300 game of bowling. I like to tell people I got mine back when it "meant something," which is mostly true, although most bowling historians (can I get a job like that?) will tell you that even in 1988, a 300 meant less than it did even only years prior, and in 1983, it meant less than five years prior to that. But at least it meant enough to feel like a once-in-a-lifetime event when it happened to this 21-year-old, a whole house full of bowlers stopped what they were doing to watch, and the 12th strike strike was met with a huge roar.

The problem with joke-boasting about having done it when it "meant something" is that one would expect that I'd have no trouble doing it again (and again, and again, ...). I expect it will come, but the closest I've come since "getting back into" bowling in recent years and actually keeping up with technology has been a 296 game (left the bucket...too much speed on the final shot). I've also had 15 in a row over the course of two games (Andy Veripapa, anyone?)

So the other day I was wondering, what would the mathematical odds be of me bowling a 300 game on any particular night? If I treated my bowling like a dice game, I could calculate this. Luckily, if a bit geekily, I keep stats for fun, and can indeed calculate this.

Among stats I keep are strike percentage and double percentage (how often I follow a strike with another strike). Over the past two season, with 72 games logged, my strike percentage is 64.71%. My double percentage is 63.25% (which means I might be inclined to let the nerves get to me knowing how important it is to follow a strike with another one).

So, if we had a 10,000-sided die to roll (take that, D&D fans), we could mimic my game by saying that everything between 1 and 6471 would be a strike, and in a frame following a strike, everything between 1 and 6325 would be a strike.

The odds, then, of a 300 game would be .6471 * .6325^11 = .004194, or .42% rounded off. Put another way, you could expect a 300 game every 238 games or so.

There was a time in my life where I bowled that many sanctioned games in a season. If I still were, I might be one of those guys with several 300 games to his credit. Still, the top bowlers in the Twin Cities area have scores of 300s, so they are doing more than just bowling more. They are indeed bowling better. The former does tend to beget the latter, but there's more to bowling closer to your potential than simply bowling more.

If I were to improve my strike and double percentages to 65% each, my likelihood of a 300 game becomes 1 in 176. Improve them to 66.67% each (2 strikes in every 3 shots), and it's 1 in 130. At 70% each, it's 1 in 72.

The "dice" game version of course does not factor in the human element of pressure. The die would not know that it had just rolled 11 strikes in a row. So how does a human combat this? Knowledge is power, I say. Knowing that my time will come if I am just patient should, in theory, allow me to relax more when a game gets into the "nervous zone" of 8 or 9 strikes in a row. I just need to wait it out, and it will happen. Maybe not within the 238-game span, but it will, eventually.

Yeah, I know, easier said than done.

One other thing is clear from the statistics: Since I'm not likely to get permission from the better half to bowl 238, 176, or even 130 games a year, it behooves me to try to improve with the relatively few games I am able to bowl and practice, if I am to not only get that next 300 soon, but even more to come.

Ice Hockey and Checking

2012-01-17T00:37:00.000-08:00

I received an e-mail from the Minnesota Hockey Association with the following:

Minnesota Hockey families:
Due to the tragic injury suffered recently by Jack Jablonski in a high school hockey game, the Minneapolis Hockey Association created Jack's Pledge. The Minneapolis Hockey Association is where Jack played youth hockey and developed his strong passion for our wonderful sport. Jack's Pledge is a grassroots program aimed at enhancing safety in the game of hockey. Through membership in Jack's Pledge, hockey associations, hockey teams, hockey coaches and hockey players pledge to play the right way -- Jack's way -- by the rules, safe, smart and skillfully.

We strongly encourage you to learn more about Jack's Pledge here.

Thank you,
Minnesota Hockey

Now, while I appreciate the sentiment, and agree that something should be done, I can't help but wonder why the Minnesota Hockey Association doesn't just insist on enforcing USA Hockey's declarations. To wit:

“The purpose of a body check is to (get position to) separate the opponent from the puck. Any time a player delivers a check for the purpose of intimidating or punishing the opponent, and therefore causes the opponent to be driven excessively into the boards, a boarding penalty must be called.”

I took the above quote from an excellent article by Jack Blatherwick, former strength and training coach with the University of Minnesota hockey team, an expert in training for hockey, and somewhat of a curmudgeon when it comes to the purity (or lack thereof) of the game.

Here are his most recent articles from the publication Let's Play Hockey, both of which were inspired by the recent injuries suffered by high school players Jack Jablonski and Jenna Privette.

Boarding penalty must be enforced with zero tolerance

Adults must make it happen: Replace violence with skill

To put it simply, spot on, Mr. Blatherwick.

Second League Session With New Style

2012-01-17T00:30:00.000-08:00

I rolled a 683 with my new-old "Del Ballard" style last Tuesday. Scored 247, 201, and 235 for a 683. While better than average, there was a good deal of disappointment in it.

I started game one with seven straight strikes, then left a ringing 10-pin, and proceeded to Mika my spare shot right in the channel. I beat my man by five pins (one pin actual, as I get four sticks on him, since he averages over 240), so that was OK, but a seven pin in the 10th kept me from getting my team the win.

Game two I got a little lost, striking only five times, whiffed another 10-pin, this time to the left, but still managed to tie my opponent actual, thus winning with my handicap. Our team won our game as well. Game three was odd, and was not looking good, but I benefited from a 10-pin by my opponent in the tenth, while I went sheet from the 8th frame for a 235. It tied my opponent actual, giving me the win with my sticks, plus another team win.

Pretty cool tying my guy twice and beating him by one pin in the other in actual pin count. You don't see that too often.

So while my new form definitely worked in leading me to the pocket, my poor spare shooting and occasional brain cramping kept me from having a real fine series. Still, all in all, I'm encouraged.

Good to be Home

2011-12-31T20:07:00.001-08:00

It's New Year's Eve, as well as my wife's birthday, so I'd best keep this short. We're back from Orlando, where I guess the crowds are massive this evening. We went to Islands of Adventure at Universal Orlando on Thursday, with all five kids, and it was ridiculous.

There were up to 3 hours of delays on some attractions (Harry Potter and The Hulk), and the Harry Potter World was a sea of people. Absolutely a madhouse. For a while, I was thinking, "Never again." But by the evening hours, lines were a little shorter, and if that was indeed been of the busiest days ever at the park (it made national news, and they were turning people away), then the best thing to do is go at a better time of year next time.

Happy New Year.

League scores 2011-12 so far

2011-12-23T19:51:00.001-08:00

Just posting scores to date for the season. I doubt it will last, but I've got a good string of 200+ games going. In fact, 199 is my low, which I did twice in the first week. Both games involved a big split in the 10th. Nine total in both games would have been good enough for 200s. Ah well...

199, 211, 199 = 609
222, 226, 202 = 650
212, 269, 229 = 710
204, 217, 234 = 655
201, 236, 242 = 679

A Different Bowling Model

2011-12-21T20:29:00.000-08:00

I tried a new bowling style in league last night, and while I didn't have my best night, it was certainly promising. I ended the first game with a solid ten pin in the ninth, after a strike in the eighth, and then left a 2-8-10 in the tenth for a disappointing 201 game. I followed that with a 236 and 242 for a 679 set, which brought my average up to 220. Not quite to last year's final average, but I've only bowled 15 games to date because of my back injury.

The change I made was to start with the ball hanging lower, and my body slouched a little, head-down. I'm not sure exactly how it looks, but I imagine it's something like Del Ballard, Jr., with a tad less slide.

Previously, I had been trying a more classic style, like a Brian Voss, only with a 5-step delivery, and without the model-good looks. My local bowling pro got me to lower my ball position at set-up to about midpoint. Previously I started it higher, like Mike Aulby would often do.

The change helped me with direction, but didn't help as much as I wanted with ball speed. With the previous two styles, the only way I could generate acceptable ball speed (in my mind, anyway, to keep up with how the power game has become more commonplace), was to either bring my back swing way back high, or to muscle it on the downswing. The former was difficult for me to control my accuracy with, and the latter seemed to give me difficulty keeping consistent with my release.

Here's what the "Ballard" change seems to have done for me:

1) Keeps my head low the whole time. I tend to otherwise be too upright, causing me to loft it too much at times, unless I bring my head and body lower during the approach, which gives me consistency problems.
2) Gives me the ball speed I need because I walk more quickly to the line now. Standing more upright made walking faster more awkward.
3) Allows me to not think too much about my backswing. I've never been comfortable with a big backswing. I can let it be as short as comes naturally now, and still get over 16 mph on my ball because of my faster (yet more in control) approach.
4) I don't know if this has anything to do with the new style, but the ball was coming off my thumb better than any previous league night this season, even though the hole was fitting just as snugly as ever.

As much as it seems like a lot of changes, all I really do differently is drop down to the "Ballard position" at set-up, and everything else comes together. This style isn't actually new to me. I used it for a few years in the late '90s/early '00s. I had what I think was an old 14 pound blue resin Hammer drilled for someone else (only a semi-fingertip span for me), so while I had some success with that style, I also had a lot of struggles. I didn't buy my first new and custom-fit reactive ball until about three years ago when I got back into bowling after a lengthy layoff. I went back to my older style then for whatever reason.

I'll update regularly how it goes. I also hope to post some before/after videos. I was encouraged at how well I threw it, despite just a decent score for the night. I probably would rather look like Voss when I bowl (I even used to sport the wavy brown hair when I grew it out more), or maybe take the ball back like Michael Fagan. But pretty is as pretty does, and I'm getting too old to look good, anyway.

Why I Bowl (Because I HAVE To)

2011-11-23T08:07:00.000-08:00

There's a bowling forum(www.mrbowling300.net) I frequent, and one of the discussions was opened with the question, "What is it that you like about bowling?" It's an interesting way to phrase the question, and I would expect a plethora of answers from a community of avid bowlers.

Here was my response:

I can think of so many things, but my enjoyment of the game must be hard-wired. I remember being a toddler and my neighborhood daycare mom bowled in one of those women's leagues where the center would have a nursery on site. She walked us kids past the lanes to the nursery.

It was the coolest sight I'd ever seen, and I really only remember her doing it once or twice, but I was so drawn to it. The pins looked not like they were set up in triangles, but just straight lines across, for my young depth perception from that distance must not have been developed yet. Seeing the grownups knock them down and watch them scatter about was amazing!

So I guess my answer to the question would be something about how the pins fly, and while ours is a game of repetition, we all know from experience how many different ways the pins can actually fly, topple, mix, etc. Don't tell us bowlers that there's no variety in this game; we know all too well the nuances.

I even liked the smell of the old bowling alleys as a child, stale smoke from the night before and all. Maybe because it's a unique smell that triggered a neurological association to something I really liked.

Anyway, I've "quit" bowling off and on over the years, but now that I'm mature enough (finally...at 45!) to handle the bad nights, I'm back for good. When I came back this last time, I remember saying, "You can take the boy out of bowling, but you can't take the bowling out of the boy."

I meant it. It's been in me probably since birth.

New Game Show

2011-11-21T20:54:00.000-08:00

Of all the reality shows past and present, I think my favorite is Kitchen Nightmares with Chef Gordon Ramsay. Of all the modern-day prime time game shows (going back to Who Wants to be a Millionaire), my favorite was Minute to Win It. I have found a new one.

You Deserve It premiered on ABC tonight, and it was a cross between Deal or No Deal and Extreme Makeover: Home Edition, with a little bit of Password in. Plus, it's every bit as fun to play along with as any game shows that let you feel smarter than the contestant, a la Wheel of Fortune.

Check it out if you get a chance. One word of advice, however: as with all prime time game shows past and present, the DVR is your friend.

Mid-life Crisis?

2011-11-20T15:28:00.000-08:00

Whenever I'm in mid-life crisis mode, I listen to Bruce Springsteen's, "Girls in Their Summer Clothes." Not that I was ever a lady-killer, but the line, "And the girls in their summer clothes pass me by," sure hits home for this 45-year-old.

I don't know if I'll ever feel any older than 28 mentally, which I guess is good. But I always look older than I think I do whenever I see a photo. Still, I think I'm doing OK in that regard.

Terms of Endearment is on television right now. It was released in 1983, and ran while I was an usher at Har Mar Cinemas 11 in Roseville. It was interesting to see all of the teary-eyed patrons exiting the theatre and staring into the midday winter sun after a matinee showing. Out of curiosity, I went to IMDB to check the age of Jack Nicholson, who won an Oscar for his role in the film, a role, interestingly, which Burt Reynolds turned down. Oops.

Anyway, IMDB shows Nicholson was born April 22, 1937. That would make him 45 while filming the movie. Even though he looks much younger than today, he still looks a lot older than I feel, and older than I think I look when I check the mirror. No doubt I'm kidding myself, but hey, whatever works.

I read an interesting article today from this week's City Pages about the Acme Comedy Company's 20 years in the business. I found interesting one bit about how there was a time when much of the fresh new talent in local stand-up was guys having a mid-life crisis deciding they were going to chase a dream.

Yep, that sounds like me. Whether as a joke teller (I have a friend who would write them...even being a bit delusional, I know my limitations), getting back into radio announcing someday, or what have you, I know I'll be trying something fairly soon that I don't want to grow old not having tried.

Mid-life crisis? Perhaps, but I'd rather that than an end-of-life crisis.

Same Old Kayfabe

2011-11-17T18:43:00.001-08:00

I can't believe it took me over a year to hear about this book, but I just picked up Minnesota's Golden Age of Wrestling at the Dakota County Library today after being told about it by a colleague at work. I was pretty excited, but skeptical as well. You see, the author is a local guy, George Schire, who goes way back with the AWA, to the years my high school friends and I were big fans. After the AWA folded, you could occasionally catch Verne or Greg telling stories about the business. But it was always in the context that the matches were legit. So I was skeptical that this would be anything but reminiscing about old matches (which would be good) as if they were real contests (which would be bad).

The book only occasionally breaks kayfabe ("kayfabe" is the "code" in pro wrestling that refers to acting as if the business is non-scripted or predetermined), and contains such rare shoot material (a "shoot" in pro wrestling is anything that is not a put-on, be it an interview, or a fight, or whatever else that may happen in the business) that the reader doesn't really know what to believe. Oh, I know not to believe that Stanley Blackburn actually stripped Verne Gagne of his title in 1981, but when you think you might be reading a shoot, you have to wonder, such as certain attendance figures it refers to regarding some of the shows.

That said, it's a must have for anyone who religiously watched All Star Wrestling at any time in Minnesota. The bios in the back of the book are fun to read, similar to Ross Bernstein's Grappling Glory: Celebrating a Century of Minnesota Wrestling & Rassling. It doesn't add a lot of insight into the business that you might expect from an "insider." It pretty much sticks to the facts of the wrestling, i.e., who won what belts against whom and in which city.

One of these days, when ol' Verne is gone probably, someone will offer up what working in the AWA was really all about in the glory days. That would be a helluva read. Until then, books like Schire's and Bernstein's will still do.

Golf With Old Friends

2011-10-14T20:42:00.000-07:00

I played my final round of golf for the year, most likely, yesterday with some old friends. We all worked in the same department at our present company over twenty years ago, on the lower rungs of the ladder in our respective fields. Today, one is a Vice President (with whom I actually had never been true "friends," but we have always been friendly, and played ball together for a few years), another a Director, another a Senior Database Engineer, and I, a Team Lead.

I'm the only one not still in Technology, and I sometimes wonder whether I should have stayed in that field. I didn't quite have the passion for technology that is required to excel, but I think now that I've seen how it affects other areas of our company, having worked in another area for 10 years now, I think I could. Problem is, 10 years of technological changes have passed me up.

I have also wondered whether I should have been more driven to put in 10+ hour days to try to climb the corporate ladder. My LSAT scores alone give me the confidence to believe I'd have enough smarts for it, but you need to put in the hours as well, even if partly for show. Not that my successful golf buddies are about show; they've truly earned it. But I've seen the show part work for others, to be sure.

Thing is, while I could envision myself finally, at age 45, go all out in investing in my career, I saw something on the golf course that makes me re-think that. During the round, all three others were checking their cell phones for work e-mails throughout the round, with the V.P. of course checking the most frequently, between literally every shot.

He is clearly a skilled golfer, which doesn't surprise me, as I remember the days we played softball together on the diminutive Duluth & Case fields in St. Paul in the late '80s (diminutive in that the fields overlapped to the point where outfielders in separate games would be facing each other....still hard to believe there was never a serious injury from that set-up). But his game was rusty, as it was only his fourth time out this year. I had been feeling sorry for myself for not having played as much golf as in past years, and that my handicap went up a whole stroke because of it, but I still got out for at least a dozen more rounds this year than he. And I wasn't checking my cell phone during any of them, either, other than to perhaps update Facebook to boast about being able to play golf.

Speaking of which, I posted the above photo on my Facebook wall. My caption read, "Missed my second career ace on the last round of the year, but tap-in birdies are always fun, and my back held up for 18!" Yes, my aching back made it, and more tellingly, didn't hurt the next day (today).

It's definitely a trade-off to succeed in the corporate world, something I learned quite early, and rejected for myself, but with a lot of second-guessing. I'm happy for my old friends' success and I hope to play more golf with them next year. I'm also happy that I know I'll be playing a lot more than they will, and that I'm OK with the trade-off.

Umpires and Announcers (yep, again)

2011-10-04T21:27:00.000-07:00

Up later than I should be, I realized I haven't blogged yet in October. I've got little to say, other than watching sports lately has again got my blood pressure up, thanks to announcers and officials.

Umpire Joe West just took off his mask staring down the Arizona Diamondbacks' batter who obviously didn't like the strike three call against him. The graphics on the TV clearly showed West blew it. I don't mind umps being wrong occasionally, but spare me the stare-down. You're not the show, and if you're trying to be, at least make sure you got the call right.

"Umpires get 98% of the calls right," we often hear them say, "them" usually being an umpire.

No they don't, not even when you give them the easy ones. Unless you include them correctly calling everything down to a foul ball back into the screen a "FOUL BALL!"...then maybe. But still, probably not. I should do a study some night.

That said, it was a different game in this postseason, and I wish I remembered the umpire, so I can prove I'm fair-minded, when one of the announcers made an a$$ of himself. The ump got strike one correct, and then ball two correct, and even as the graphics still showed the locations of those two pitches, one of the announcers inexplicably said words to the effect of, "I think (Umpire) knows that first one was a ball, so he gave (Batter) a make up call on the second pitch."
I wish I could remember who the announcer was, just 'cause I like to call them out.

Yeah, I'm bitter. Oh well.

My Aching Back

2011-09-27T19:24:00.000-07:00

After a couple of weeks of gradual progress with my back healing, this past weekend it took a turn for the worse. I decided to go into urgent care, and the good news is no surgery is needed.

I may have stayed at a Holiday Inn Express, but I'll leave the medical diagnoses to the professionals from now on. Based on my symptoms and some random anecdotes I'd read and heard, I was certain something was much more wrong than a little misalignment.

Imagine the disks as toy blocks, each separated by a small gap. They should all be square/parallel with each other. The X-Rays showed that one of mine, the one where all of my pain originates, was just a little off square. Physical Therapy is what the doctor prescribed, as well as some potent pain killers. No chiropractic, no surgery.

The bad news is no heavy lifting either, for a while at least, even in exercises where I don't feel my back at all, such as the bench press. My wife warned me about that, telling me I shouldnt' be lifting while it's hurting, and the doc confirmed it when I asked him.

I hate it when she's right.

My No-Show at the 2011 Minnesota State Mid Amateur Golf Tournament

2011-09-14T21:06:00.001-07:00

For the first time in five years, I did not compete in the Minnesota State Mid Amateur golf tournament. Open to 240 golfers, with the top 60 (and ties) making the cut to the third and final round, it's a tournament I've come to look forward to every September.

This year, however, due to lack of consistency in playing frequency, which led to inconsistency in playing quality, I decided to pass. Plus, it was at a couple courses that I wasn't too excited to play - Dellwood Hills and Tanners Brook. I've only played Dellwood, a private course, once, and that was nearly 30 years ago. I've never played the other. Still, from word of mouth, I was OK with missing out. Not to mention I would have had to withdraw because of my back injury (which is still healing well, thanks).

Apparently, I wasn't alone. There were no fewer than 200 entries in the past four State Mid-Ams, but this year, unless I'm reading it wrong, there were only about 160, and several of them no-showed. It looks like a lot of the scores are missing from the first two rounds, but the cut line was a two-day total of 161, which happens to be one stroke higher than my lowest two-day total of the four times I've entered. So you're telling me I had a chance.... (Final Results here)

It's sad to see the drop in competitors, but I'm used to this kind of disappointment. The same thing has happened in bowling and softball locally. The state championship I was so proud to share in just ten years ago no longer even exists. The local Central Bowler's Alliance, which 20 years ago saw about 100 or more of the top scratch bowlers in the state (and some from surrounding states) compete every month. Nowadays, it's typically around 45 during "peak" season.

I'm sincerely hoping this year's drop in interest was for much the same reason I skipped it: apathy about the specific courses, and their less-than-exciting-or-convenient locations.

Next year's tournament will be hosted by Midland Hills and Town and Country. Midland is the home course of my high school alma mater, Alexander Ramsey (now Roseville Area), and the other is where my Vice President at work is a member. So I'll be looking forward to that one, and will try to train weeks in advance in a serious attempt to make the cut.

Both are centrally located, private courses, so there's no reason to expect the same apathy as this year from Minnesota's elite 30-and-over amateur golfers. But as Yogi Berra once said, if people don't want to come out to the golf course, how are you gonna stop them? (He actually said "ball park.")

If they don't come out, at least I'll have a better chance to make the cut, and the free round on a private course that would come with doing so.

"Just hop on my back...no wait, don't!"

2011-09-13T20:34:00.000-07:00

It's been a roller coaster past few days for me. I was unable to fix our water softener, so I planned on taking it apart to give it one more try. "After the golf tournament, Dear, I promise!"

The golf tournament was Saturday. On Friday, I achieved a 24-yr-or-so goal of bench pressing 315 pounds - "three wheels" as my old lifting buddies and I would call it, because it represents three 45-lb. plates on each side of the lifting bar. A nice aside, I thought to myself, was that my joints and tendons felt terrific compared to the last time I got close to doing 315.

It was fairly short-lived, however. Oh, Saturday went great. My playing partner and I won the two-man best-ball tournament at Troy Burne Golf Club. I shot a plus-three 39 on the front nine, which included a triple bogey on hole 2.

By the ninth hole, my already iffy lower back started to hurt. I barely made through the round and didn't say a thing to my partner, not wanting to make excuses. I shot a plus-eleven 46 on the back. Thankfully, he shot 37, good enough to carry us to victory, like Kirby Puckett in Game 6 of the '91 Series. The old joke in such situations is to tell the guy who carried the team, "I sure hope your back doesn't hurt." Oh, but I wish I could say that mine did only figuratively.

While my back was hurting bad when we putted out, and I was looking forward to relaxing at home. But by the time I was done relaxing, my back hurt so bad, Felix Unger would've said, "Man, I'm sure glad I'm not you!"

Thankfully, it's getting better, although I did have to postpone my start to the 2011-12 bowling season. For a while Saturday, I was seriously wondering if I'd ever play any sports even semi-competitively again, including bowling. Ironic because I started lifting years ago to improve my softball power.

I'm still a bit down about it all, so to cheer myself up a bit, I'll post last year's league bowling results. I kept more complete stats, even frame-by-frame, but for now, I'll keep it simple below. I never got around to it this past spring, and then summer league went horribly (after a decent start), so I've been pretty down on bowling as well.

It was a good season last year, here's hoping my back, wrist, and fingers all get to nearly 100% by the time I get to start this season.

My Golf and Bowling Wishes/Fantasies

2011-09-05T20:41:00.000-07:00

I played some golf this Labor Day Weekend in Alexandria, Minnesota. If I could only play one course the rest of my life, I might just pick the Alexandria Golf Club.

Speaking of impossible, hypothetical scenarios, I was reading the new issue of Golf Magazine, which has a reader survey full of such questions. One is, "Which Golf Superpower would you most like to possess?"

Here are the reader survey results:

1. Split every fairway with a 270-yard drive - 41%
2. Win every match you ever play - 27%
3. Make every 3-footer for the rest of your life - 26%
4. The ability to execute one hole-out every round - 6%

I would have to go with #3; that would leave the game's fun challenges left to the learning process, while adding the confidence needed to improve on them (imagine how confident you would swing the club knowing you'll never miss a 3-footer!).

Similarly, if I had one bowling superpower to pick from, it would be to never miss another single-pin spare again. Heck, I'd even settle for narrowing it down to the 10-pin. Same reasoning as the 3-foot putt fantasy.

If anyone is still reading this blog, I'd be curious to know what you would pick, and why?

A Dress Code Even a Bowling Shirt Would Fail

2011-08-31T20:07:00.000-07:00

If any of my kids ever got in trouble at school over policy that I disagreed with, I would hope I would stand up for them. My ex-wife once got into a heated argument with a school official for defending our son for pushing a kid in the snow - a kid who had been picking on our daughter, if I recall correctly. She showed more gall than I would have, but I doubt either of us would go anywhere near where the parent in this story did: http://www.kcra.com/news/29018987/detail.html

From the article, the parent, Pami Gibbs, was "accused of making references to ethnicity during the attack on Fillmore Elementary Principal Evangelina Ramos. Gibbs is white, and Ramos is a Latina.

"Assistant Superintendent Dan Wright said Gibbs became upset Monday morning when Ramos said the 29-year-old woman's son couldn't wear a T-shirt with skulls on it. According to witnesses, Gibbs suddenly began punching Ramos in the face."

Racial slurs, nope. Punches, nope. But is it a silly rule? You betcha (in my best Minnesota Nice), at least if it's one of those "zero tolerance" rules.

I haven't read Minnesota School District 196's bylaws yet, but when my son enters Kindergarten a week from today, I'm not sure I'll be dressing him up in the bowling shirt (yes, bowling shirt) I bought him in Reno this past May.

Here he is yesterday, proudly wearing it. Destined to become a hoodlum, no?

You know, now that I think of it, I wouldn't put it past either my ex- or current wife for doing what that one parent allegedly did, depending on the circumstances.

Bully for me

2011-08-25T21:11:00.000-07:00

Bullies and bullying are more at the center of our society's conscience than I can ever remember. I read a very interesting bulletin board discussion the other day on the topic. What was fascinating to me was the variety of stories the posters shared of them being bullied.

I found several other things interesting, such as the differences in their stories and my own experiences. I was an easy target, and got treated meanly by many people. I wouldn't wish some of that on anyone, except for three people perhaps; the only three whom I really consider to be bullies of mine in my younger years (two from Junior High, one actually from when I was 18). Oh, there were plenty of mean things done by many, and some real jerks whom I won't soon forget. But nothing like these two, even if they really don't deserve my ire today.

I found it interesting how many posters to the thread knew the whereabouts, and in many cases, the stories of the demise of their personal bullies. It almost made me wonder if they weren't making up the stories to create their own happy endings. I have no idea what happened to my bullies. Neither are on Facebook, as far as I can tell. One still lives in the Twin Cities I think.

Of all the meanness I experienced, I harbor almost no resentment to the majority of the individuals who caused it. There are only these three exceptions. It goes against so much of what I stand for, but if I met either one today, and I had at least a couple of beers in me, I might just pick a fight.

No, I wouldn't. But I might try to intimidate just to see how they'd react. They'd either show a newly found respect, seeing how I'd grown up physically and am no longer at a disadvantage, or they'd throw the first punch. I don't know how I'd respond to the latter, being that I wouldn't want to lose a job (or a lawsuit) over a grudge fight. Perhaps I'd pull a Felix Unger and say, "Look, let's settle this like gentleman. Let's meet at a boxing gym, and spar three rounds; may the better man win." Yeah, that's what I'd probably do...seriously. (Remember that Odd Couple episode?)

All that said, the picking on even these bullies gave me paled in comparison to some of the stories I read on that bulletin board. Perhaps I should consider myself lucky that I grew up in a relatively tame environment. Perhaps not, if it's the bullying that contributed some to what I am today.

Bruce Springsteen once said (paraphrasing from memory), "The first time I could even stand looking at myself was when I held a guitar." I can relate a little, only mine is after I started putting on a little muscle tone. I have no doubt the bullying had something to do with that, and while I currently have a spare tire to take care of after I hit a few lifting goals, I know that will always be somewhat true.

As long as I am physically able, I will be hitting the iron, even though the bullies become even further away in my past.

Snide Remarks a la Reader's Digest

2011-08-15T22:49:00.001-07:00

Good heavens, it's been a while since I've posted. There are so many things about which I could write a complete post, some on subject matters about which I have previously written, and others not, but knowing that I probably won't get around to writing about every one of them, I'll "bulletize" as we like to say excessively in the corporate world.

My trek to a 315-lb. bench press is still on schedule, as on my most recent workout last Friday, I did 12 reps of 225 lbs., which according to at least one of many sources, equates to a maximum one-rep press of 312 (http://www.muscleandstrength.com/tools/bench-press-calculator.html).

I am now able to close the 150# hand gripper with either hand (I'm not sure if I said I could do this before; if I did, I was lying).

Michelle Bachmann is as guano crazy as ever.

I haven't been too rough on umpires this year (it gets old), but I saw a horrible balls-and-strikes umpire at the Little League World Series qualifying game between Northern and Southern California the other day. I would be surprised if you couldn't find him on YouTube by now.

I once learned, I think, that you are not supposed to put a period at the end of a bulleted thought. Well, sometimes your bulleted thought needs more than one sentence, and thus really should have the second sentence end with one. So for the sake of consistency, I use periods, unless every one of my bullet points is merely a phrase, and not a complete sentence.

With my wife, today I finalized my first-ever new car purchase, a 2011 Honda Odyssey EX-L. I'm a "Get me from Point A to Point B" kind of guy when it comes to cars, so this was out of character for me. But the .9% financing, plus the fact that my wife got a nice raise with her new job, made for only a slightly ill stomach on my ride home. I'll be much more at ease after the 60 months are up.

My wife's new job is at Thomson Reuters, where we met, and where she left to pursue her dream job in Radiology. That makes two of us who left T-R to pursue dream jobs in a field that starts with "Radio," only to return to the perceived security at 610 Opperman Drive.

More than ever, I'm getting bitter about not having stuck it out in Radio. Hearing 75% of the announcers involved in Minnesota Twins broadcasts does nothing to cure my bitterness. Being involved in Twins broadcasts was my dream job of all dream jobs.

I'm pretty proud of my oldest son for passing his driver's test on the first try. That's one thing he can always say he did better than his old man.

Pretty cool reaction tonight by the Detroit Tigers' fans after Jim Thome's 600th career home run.

See, that last bullet was not a complete sentence, and thus probably did not need a period, but for all of these other complete sentences.

Soon to be Crushing Coconuts and Ripping Phone Books

2011-07-24T23:16:00.000-07:00

Back in the late '70s and early '80s, I was quite the fan of AWA Wrestling, Verne Gagne's since-defunct organization. Among the many angles and gimmicks you would see would be feats or claims of strength.

Otto Wanz would take a phone book and rip it in half with his bare hands. I can do that, too, if the phone book is that of a town of no more than 25,000 or so. Or, if it's a big town, it would have to be a progressive town, whose residents no longer use landlines, and whose businesses have switched their advertising bucks from print to the Web.

It was also claimed that Baron Von Raschke's "Claw" hold could crush coconuts. I can squish an Almond Joy candy bar barehanded, even a frozen one (I think), but that's about it.

I posted last month about my quest to bench 315 (I'm at 235 for 10 reps...getting close!), but considering my favorite recreational activities are bowling, golf, slowpitch softball, and shaking Adrian Peterson's hand, I figured it was a good idea to set some strength goals centered around my grip.

The for-pay Web site www.cyperpump.com has a bunch of information, user forums, and of course, products for sale, all around the subject of grip strength. As for the products, they include a training program and industrial-strength hand grips. These are not your run-of-the-mill squishy stress balls, or even WalMart plastic-coated grip springs.

I've long been intrigued by the real manly grips. Imagine, then, how giddy I was when I saw on display several packs of these Popeye-builders at GNC. They sold them in threes, with a retail price of $49.99, not unreasonable compared to internet prices. Better still, they were on sale for $19.99 a pack!

You could buy the "beginner" pack, which was three grips: 50#, 100#, and 150#, the numbers presumably representing the pounds of force required to close each grip. No slouch in the strength department, I of course opted for the "advanced" pack: three grips, with weights of 200#, 250#, and 300#. It ended up costing me only $9.99, either because of an additional discount, or a cashier mix-up. The extra adrenaline of getting the grips at 80 percent off retail list was surely enough to allow me to at least crush the 200# grip.

It wasn't, and don't call me Shirley. Ironically, I needed a very sharp knife to even open the package. I got the 200# grip to move OK, but nowhere near closing it altogether. Humbled, I went back to the GNC a couple days later, and laughed in self-deprication when the clerk said, "I remember you!" I explained that, yeah, I needs to eat me spinach a little more, and work on the beginner set a while before tackling the big-boy grips.

So I bought the beginner set, this time for $19.99 (still a bargain), went home and got the knife out, and prayed to the almighty forearm gods that I could handle the 50# grip. They answered, and I found the 50# grip to be somewhat easier than the typical WalMart grips, and I also succeeded in closing the 100# grip, which is a little tougher than the "WalMart."

As of today, I can almost close the 150# grip with each hand, coming up just short by a couple of millimeters. I hope the training "secrets" I'll pick up from the Cyberpump site will help hasten my progress, and while I have no grand illusions, I would like to think one day I could at least close the 200# grip. That would be significant, and hopefully, beneficial to my hobbies.

Today the Eagan white pages, tomorrow, Duluth.

Holding Ponds, Shelley Fabares, Loose Meat Sandwiches, and Uprooted Trees

2011-07-14T19:17:00.001-07:00

My son and I have been back from our golf/nostalgia trip to Iowa since about 5:30 Monday evening. I've been wanting to turn around and head back since 5:31.

We arrived in Carroll at a little after 10:00 AM, pulling into the Municapal Golf Course around 10:30, hoping to get a round in. The annual Men's Club Tournament was going on, so we had to wait until about 11:15.

We had a bite to eat in the clubhouse, where I told my son his mother worked in the summer of 1997. I also told him the story of how I actually played in the Men's Club Tournament, also in '97. It was memorable because after an extremely disappointing opening 9 of 42 on the easier, par-35 side, I started the turn birdie-birdie-birdie-par-birdie, which remains the only time I've ever made three straight birdies. I parred the rest until 18, where I bogeyed, for a three-under-par "in" nine of 33. It gave me a 75, to barely qualify me for the Championship Flight on the following day.

Yeah, he was as excited to hear that story as you are to read it, no doubt.

The Carroll Muni, although still a bunker-less, hacker-friendly course with a rating of sixty-something, and a slope of 108 or so, is a much improved course from when I used to play it.

They did two things to make it so: 1) They started irrigating the fairways, and 2) they dug some trenches to create holding ponds, so that parts of the course susceptible to flooding would drain after heavy rainfalls.

I exaggerate very little when I say that had I known they were going to do this, I probably would not have left Carroll. Not that I wish I didn't leave...I'm just sayin'. They also remodeled the clubhouse, and added GPS to their carts - icing on the cake.

I finished with 75, the same score I shot that day in '97. Lowlights were a couple missed tap-ins. Highlights were my son birdying #2, and leading me by two shots after two holes, and my eagle on #8 after driving the par-four green.

Afterward, we checked into our Super 8, and headed over to the Carroll Country Club, a private course for the locals, but out-of-towners are welcome to pay daily greens fees. Highlights were a nice up-and-down birdie on #2, and meeting a nice young man who turned out to be the former pro at the Muni back in '97, and who, as a three-year-old, can be seen in a picture of my then-one-year-old daughter's birthday party at the Muni Clubhouse. I told him to say hi to his dad from me, but didn't remember the birthday party photo until later.

After the second round of golf, I caught up with my former radio station program director, who had just finished calling one of the local high school's girls' softball team's games, a lopsided playoff win. We chatted and he invited me to the station, where he was heading back to return the "Marti," which is the piece of equipment used to transmit the broadcast back to the station.

Seeing the new studios and equipment was cool. Seeing enough had not changed so that it felt like home was very cool, including the old, autographed Shelley Fabares picture (not THAT old - it was from her "Coach" days, not her "Johnny Angel" days).

Day two, I let my son drive the 110-or-so miles to Marshalltown. We were pretty hungry by the time we arrived, so I took him to a lunch I knew he'd never before experienced, and may not again for many years to come. I took him to Taylor's Maid Rite.

The loose meat sandwiches were as yummy as I recalled, and the malts, which were new to me there, were a nice surprise. My son enjoyed them too, much to my delight, not unlike a father first sharing a White Castle with his son, hoping his son would, to, learn to love the sliders.

As we did in Carroll, we then drove around to see the places we lived while there. It was the first year of his life, so he wouldn't remember, but he seemed interested in some of the story-telling.

Our first place of residence was humble, largely because I had driven into town after his mom and were just married, to find a place to move into quickly and that would allow pets. So humble was it, that when I pointed out the house to him, he said, "We lived in THAT?!?"

"No," I said, "That is the house our neighbors lived in. The house behind it, which was once-upon-a-time the neighbors' guest house, is where we lived. See that "203 1/2" on it? It doesn't even have a whole number for its address!" Some young woman was unloading stuff from her car, and I thought to myself of the dreams she must have about someday moving up.

We then checked into the Marshalltown Super 8, which was, curiously, about $20 cheaper. I suppose because it was Sunday. From there, I called the pro shop of the number one public golf course in Iowa, The Harvester. Harvester is located near Rhodes, which is just down the road from Carroll.
I exaggerate very little when I say that had I known they were going to build that course, I would not have left Marshalltown. OK, I'm exaggerating a little bit more this time. It's a great course to live nearby, but it's high-end price ($79 for twilight rates is what we paid, which included range balls and carts), probably would have kept me from playing it more than a couple times a year, especially on a small-town disc jockey's pay.

The course lived up to its billing. If I played it enough to learn it a little better, it could become my favorite. Highlights of the round were parring the 530-yard, par-four 16th (that is not a typo), and parring the par-five 18th after hitting my second shot into the water from 221 yards (I dropped, hit the next shot to about 10 feet, and made the putt. Dang, coulda been an eagle!) Lowlights were our scores on some of the other holes, and my forgetting to bring my SkyCaddie to the course.

We came back into town, drove around a bit, grabbed some KFC, and went back to our motel room. It was a strange evening in that the power in the motel went off about three times, each time being restarted quickly. The evening would become stranger.

I was awoken at about 4:25 by the most intense electrical storm of which I have ever been in the middle. For a solid half hour it was steady flashes of light, rumbling thunder, and whistling howling wind. Oddly, the power was still on throughout much of it, until finally it went out again, not to come back on until after we left the next day, and this time it was the whole town's power. Below is a screen capture I took of the storm on weather.com, just after the worst of it was over, and just before the power went out for good.

We toured the town Monday, finding at a minimum fallen branches and leaves on ever street, and at a maximum large limbs and even uprooted trees. One house I remembered from long ago, not far from the old guest-house/shack, had a tree fall right into its roof and its neighbor's roofs, causing large holes in both.

I had driven by it only out of curiosity because I remembered it was a nice, little house in a mostly-modest neighborhood, and was for sale in 1995 for $97,000, very high for a house of its size in that neighborhood back then. I was told that it was because of the immaculate condition and amount of wood in the interior that made it worth every penny. I only knew from the brief time my then-wife and I were looking at houses in Marshalltown, prior to our move to Carroll. I found it a little strange that I was so saddened to see it damaged like that, more so than I was at any of the other houses.

I could go on for much longer about every little detail, for every little detail that I can remember will be remembered with absolute fondness. But I'll just wrap up by stating the obvious: it was a terrific extended weekend of father-son bonding, and went much, much too fast. Next time I visit either or both towns (I hate when people use "either" to mean "both"), I hope to visit more of the people with whom I used to work, as many of them still work at the radio stations.

Who knows? I recently joked with my former P.D. that I hope to "retire" in about ten years, working only enough to get by, and in a job I truly love, so I might be looking for a part-time gig with him someday. It's been fourteen years since I've been in my last dream job. Perhaps it's only ten more years away.

Better Late Than Never

2011-07-07T20:32:00.001-07:00

I'll never be in the running for any kind of "Father of the Year" award. One small piece of evidence is the fact that the thing I am so looking forward to this weekend is something most fathers with grown sons have done many times over.

My 17-year-old son and I will be going on our first-ever extended trip together - just the two of us. By "extended," I mean "more than a long day."

What's more, we will be visiting the places he spent the first three years of his life. If all goes well, we will visit Marshalltown, Iowa (year 1), and Carroll, Iowa (years 2 & 3), and will play plenty of golf during our stays.

Carroll is where he first swung a club on a course, at age two. The beauty of a small-town municipal course is that no one discourages you from bringing a two-year-old, as long as it's during slow hours, of course.

By the time he was three, he had as sweet a swing as a certain child prodigy and eventual philanderer. That's no exaggeration. Today, his 30-or-so-handicap swing is better than my USGA-5.3-index swing. His game only suffers from a lack of playing, and a lack of watching or otherwise following golf with any real amount of interest. You can blame that on his parents' splitting up before he turned six.

If we find time, we will visit the ICU in Des Moines, where he spent the first two months of his life, having been born two months early, and at a size of a three-month premie (2 lbs., 7 oz., to be exact). Most babies born that prematurely show some physical challenges as they grow: some as minor as having to wear thick glasses at an early age, others more advanced. We got remarkably lucky with him; he has shown no physical or developmental signs ever, but for a slightly less-than-average height.

When he was born, it was a crapshoot as to whether he would survive, but I dreamed of the days we would be able to do things like this. I never would have believed that it wouldn't happen until he was 17.

Also exciting is that ever since a couple weekends ago, when we played a round together in Alexandria, Minnesota, he has taken a greater interest in golf, perhaps because he has finally realized that he may have some potential in the sport (yes, sport). It will be interesting to see how much he improves even over the three days we are together, as we will play up to five rounds, weather permitting. That's more golf than he has played in the last two-plus years combined.

But even if we only get one round in, it isn't all about that. It's about the quality time, and going back to the places we spent a lot of it, 14 years, and then some, ago.

Three Wheels

2011-06-20T20:19:00.000-07:00

I used to be a huge fan of bodybuilding, and I even thought someday I would have a huge, vein-popping physique myself. Oh, I knew I would never be a Mr. Olympia, mainly because I wasn't going to try steroids (and never have). But I figured with hard work, and educating myself, I'd be pretty damn big and cut.

The problem was that while not using steroids was obstacle number one to winning a Sandow (the "Oscar" of bodybuilding, going to the Mr. Olympia winner), having average genetics was equally inhibiting. Sadly, it took me several years to figure that out.

What hooked me in the iron sport was trying to become a power hitter in softball. While I did accomplish that to some degree, I did fall pretty short of my potential, as other life decisions got in the way. I'm still a fan of lifting, and occasionally check out the 'roided-up behemeths at the magazine stand. But I no longer find such size to be desirable, in part because I know the only way it is possible is to commit a felony.

So I've revisited my interest in lifting. Weight loss will have to take a back seat (I've dropped 3.5 pounds in three months...yeah, a real dangerous crash weight-loss, I know), as I pursue a lifting goal I always had my sites on, but have yet to reach. Every time I got close, I would sabotage it by going on hiatus from workouts, start trying to lose weight, focusing on some other interest, or even getting sick and not lifting again right away once I got well.

But no more. My goal: to bench press three wheels, with no straps, lifting shirts, or drugs. Three wheels is slang my friends and I would use for 315 pounds. It means three 45-pound plates on both sides of a 45-pound bar, for a total of 315. My ultimate goal is to actually do that for four repetitions, just to hear the awesome "clanking" sound so many plates transmits. But first things first...

I'm almost there. According to several different sites, my 225 lbs. bench press for 10 repetitions equates to a maximum one-rep press of 298 pounds. (I only did nine reps today, but I didn't go to failure. I had at least one more in me.) The most I ever got to was 305, after which I took a couple weeks off to let my joints recover a little before going after 315. But I didn't keep true to those plans.

Since joining the YMCA again this past March, I've been pretty good about keeping it up. And I think I know what works for me better than I ever did before (but am still trying to learn). I'm also not neglecting other body parts, so that my body doesn't start looking like all man-boobs and little else.

I hope to post more in the near future about how I'm doing it, in part to share with others so that they don't have to waste the time and money I have in the past. It's positively embarrassing to admit how much of both that comes to.

It's also to motivate myself, by posting my progress "out here" permanently. Here's hoping I don't catch a cold or a nagging injury to make me stop my momentum. Or if I do, here's hoping turning those short layoffs into long ones is a thing of the past.

Breakdance Goaltending

2011-06-01T21:13:00.001-07:00

I watched much of tonight's Game 1 of the Stanley Cup Finals. Ironically, a night after I noted in a sports discussion with family members that hockey is normally a higher-scoring sport than soccer, Game 1 ends up going to Vancouver by the score o f 1-0, and they got that goal with just 18 seconds left in regulation.

Ah, but an anomaly does not negate a tendancy!

I posted on Facebook how both goalies stood on their heads. It's an old hockey expression, supposedly stemming from the idea that a hot goalie stopping everything is likely to be flopping all over, all night, when stopping so many shots. The more spectacular the saves, the more impressive, and I guess the epitome of a spectacular save is doing so while inverted.

Goaltending has always been, but never moreso than today, about positioning and controlling rebounds/puck flow. With the sofa cushions that pass for goalie pads, gloves that look larger than the "#1" foam hands the fans wear, and chest protectors that look to be modeled after the Michelin Man, most of the saves made today are simply a matter of the goalie staying put.

It's not as bad as (Indoor) Professional Lacrosse, however. Its goalies pretty much grab a twin bed mattress and hide behind it in front of the net.

USBC Open in Reno

2011-05-08T15:24:00.000-07:00

I meant to blog during my trip to Reno, but the time I ended up spending on line was mostly spent cleaning up work e-mails. I'm sitting at the gate awaiting my flight to Salt Lake City en route to Minneapolis/St. Paul.

So I'll keep it short. My bowling sucked mostly, save for a decent stretch in the team event from frame 4 in the first game to frame 8 in the third game. I shot a respectable (for me) 581, after starting with 32 after the third, and then finishing the 9th and 10th in game 3 with back-to-back 4-10 splits. Ruined a possible 600-620 series with those dang splits.

The bright spot was our team rolled 2919, which will probably get us about $100 back. The dark spots were plentiful. My final tally: 581, 482 in doubles(my first 400 in ages, but my partner only shot 500, so I don't feel too guilty), and 512 in singles. I totalled 1575 for the nine games, for a 175 average.

Something to improve upon for next year, I guess.

No excuses. Carry could have been better today, but that's not what did me in. I didn't make shots, and was poor on some easy spares. So I will go on record as saying I absolutely must commit myself to three things:

1) Spare shooting
2) Consistency in my strike ball
3) Committing to the shot

There was a decent enough shot on the lanes, but the mistake I made over and over again throughout the weekend was being afraid of getting the ball out too far and thus having it not come back. So I went through the nose time and again. When I didn't leave splits, my spare shooting was poor as well.

So that's the trip report in short. I'm more upset at myself than humbled. I KNEW I was only a house bowler going into this, but I performed very poorly even taking that in consideration.

Good thing I get 100 free games of bowling for joining my sport shot summer league. I hope I take the time to use them, and use them wisely.

Bin Laden Dead

2011-05-01T20:28:00.000-07:00

I just updated my Facebook page status with the below story, trimmed to the maximum 420 characters. Here's what I originally tried to post:

Just a few short days ago, in a motel in Tomah, WI, my young boys saw some military men, probably visiting from nearby Fort McCoy.

"Who are they?" one asked.

"They keep us free from the bad guys," I said.

"Like the police?"

"Yeah, sort of."

"But who are the bad guys?" he followed with a look of concern.

They still won't quite understand, but tonight's news has allowed me to explain just a little bit more what those men (and women) do for us, and perhaps help my boys sleep a little easier tonight.

Reunion Tours

2011-04-30T20:40:00.000-07:00

In a post entitled Time Passage, I talked about the phenomenon of time passing faster the older you get. A perfect example came up when I found out the Monkees are reuniting for a tour this year, as well as Deborah Gibson and Tiffany.

It was 25 years ago when I saw the Monkees on their reunion tour at the old Carlton Celebrity Room in Bloomington, Minnesota. A whopping 18 years after their TV show was canceled, I was a 20-year-old marveling at how long it had been since I had seen the show on re-runs (a whole 9 years or so!), and getting a kick out of me seeing them and others (Herman's Hermits and Gary Puckett included) play the moldy oldies.

Now, some 23-ish years since Deborah and Tiffany were staples on pop radio, it seems like nothing. And they still seem young. Crazy.

I look at photos of the Monkees (again without Michael Nesmith, who perhaps doesn't need the money as much), like the one here, and can't believe how old they are. Peter Tork looks every bit of his 69 years, although I'm sure I thought he looked an ancient 44 back in '86. Hell, I'm 44, turning 45 in three days!

I'm sure 25-years from now, I'll marvel at how quickly time has flown again, and Deborah Gibson, in her mid-sixties, will still be that kid who just can't shake my love.

What Are They Teaching Them?

2011-04-21T19:10:00.001-07:00

Tonight my wife and I took our five-year-old to his kindergarten school's open house. He was very excited to see what a "big kid" school looked like. Everything looked tiny to me (classrooms, gymnasium, cafeteria, etc.), but to a child of five, it must have looked larger than life.

There was a lot of artwork on display as we toured the hallways. We saw students' pictures of the Titanic, Japanese culture, and more. One of the first class projects we saw on display was skyscrapers. Accompanying the childrens' pictures were factual tidbits.

One student's drawing was of the Eiffel Tower. According to the student, the Eiffel Tower was completed in 1889, is 1063 feet tall, and is the largest man-made structure in the world.

"Is?," I asked myself. Um, teacher?

Perhaps they just need to update the encyclopedias in the "big kid" library.

Four Times Better Than a PGA Tour Pro

2011-04-14T21:00:00.001-07:00

In the Valero Texas Open PGA Tour event today, Kevin Na took a 16 on the par-4 ninth hole. The company I work for had its national sales meeting at the JW Marriott in San Antonio, where the TPC Courses are located. One "networking" activity was a golf scramble, during which I played the same TPC San Antonio course Na and the rest of the tour pros are playing this week.

I don't remember much about hole 9, but I do know my scramble team started on hole 7 and we were even par through several holes. So we parred hole 9, and I think we may have even used all of my shots, at least up until the par putt.

So at the very worst, I can say I would have scored no worse than a bogey 5. Of course, we played tees some 50 yards closer, but still...

To Na's credit, except for that hole, he was -4 for his round, which, had he parred the ninth, would have left him one stroke behind the leaders on the difficult new Greg Norman design.

I remember a couple similar rounds I've had in the past, although both were only 9-hole rounds. Once in Carroll, Iowa, I shot 42 on the par-35 front nine, which included an 11 on the par 4 fifth hole. It was a horribly windy day, and I managed to play -1 for the other eight holes.

Similarly, in a work league a few years ago, I took a 12 on the par 4 sixth en route to something like a 43 on the par-35 front nine at Southern Hills in Farmington, Minnesota. I was either even or one over for the other holes, and it too was a windy day.

I only bring up those memories to remind myself how much better Na handled his 16 today. If you haven't seen it on the sports highlight shows, here's a hint: Much better than I. (And I didn't handle them well.)

Bowling Chick Flick?

2011-04-08T19:16:00.000-07:00

For the last five years or so, I've wanted to write a screen play. I have yet to start it, but my idea is around a junior bowler, and it is not a comedy. I know, how boring. And geeky.

Geeky is good...see Star Wars, for one. But the junior bowling geek niche might not be quite strong enough to make up for the potential lack of appeal to the general populous.

That's OK, though, because a good story with characters you care about can be about Tiddly Winks and still be successful.

Now, I hear about this movie in production, entitled Split, and am concerned that someone might be beating me to the punch, even though it is a romantic comedy. Then again, perhaps it will be the start of a new genre of bowling-themed movies, and thereby create a demand for my masterpiece.

At the very least, I hope it's done well enough to represent the sport and its enthusiasts well. Regardless of whether it does either, I can just about guarantee it will feature, at some point in the movie, a bowler getting a Brooklyn strike, and acting like he meant to do it.

As I've written before, I can tolerate bowling movies where the actors are clearly poor bowlers, but Brooklyn strikes shown as the norm? I hate when that happens!

(P.S. After writing the above and then Googling to find a hyperlink to information on the movie, I found an informational trailer, which showed part of the in-progress production. Sure enough, it shows a bowler throwing a Brooklyn strike, not even a solid one at that, and then acting cocky afterward. Arggh!)

Van Hallen?

2011-03-15T23:44:00.000-07:00

There was a friendly debate happening on a friend's Facebook wall, on whether certain bands/artists belong in the Rock and Roll Hall of Fame. I won't bore you with all the details. I just wanted to post a comment which I typed up, then decided not to submit. I'd hate for no one to ever see what I had to say on the subject.

Although, by posting it here, I'm almost guaranteeing it.

Anyway, one guy was making the case that Van Halen is not Hall-worthy. Here is how I almost responded (typos included):

"On whether they advanced any cause of music...yeah, probably not. :) But they were very influencial as well as popular. One needs not like that which was influenced...see Grandmaster Flash, after all. While Eddie VH was no Hendrix, he influenced a heck of a lot of other guitarists. And as one who went to high school after Xeppelin but before Def Leppard, VH was teh rock band that filled the gap. Yes, they are no Zepp (nor is DL in the same league as VH). But should such popularity and influence not suffice? Maybe if Roth never left. But they sure made a lot of teen boys learn how to finger tap scales on a cheap Squire guitar. :) Perhaps Eddie should get in alone."

Tsunami

2011-03-13T21:46:00.001-07:00

The first-person accounts and footage of the Tsunami in Japan is hard for me to turn away from. I have such a creepy interest in the power of flowing water.

It's a bit hard to explain. Take heights, for example. I can look out an airplane window with no problem. I can look out a high-story window and enjoy the view.

Looking straight down, however, is like the flowing water thing. I'm curious enough to look straight down, but then after several seconds, I have to get back from the view. It's not a "frightening" thing so much as it is a creepy thing.

So when I'm next to a large, flowing river, once in a while, I can get pretty mesmerized.

I'm not sure I'm even making sense to myself, so I'll conclude with this anecdote. When I was about 12 or so, I went tubing down the Apple River in Wisconsin. At one point I found myself so in my own world that I allowed myself to flow all of the way to the end of the line, to the wire that had a sign saying words to the effect of, "No tubing beyond here."

I don't recall being scared or anything, but I just held on to the wire, still in half a trance, staring past the wire at what looked like an increasingly strong current. An adult waded out, took my hand, and pulled me to shore. He didn't "save" me or anything, but the experience was perhaps creepy enough for me to have had a lasting impact.

Oddly, however, it's not for myself I get "creeped" out about flowing water, it's for others. I don't know how I'll deal with it if I ever taking my kids to the Apple River. One thing's for sure: I will need to keep them in close proximity to me the entire time.

Glenn Beck and his Marks

2011-02-27T22:24:00.002-08:00

Someone made this comparison somewhere on a political forum I frequent, but I'll elaborate further: Glenn Beck is Pro Wrestling.

Specifically, he is Pro Wrestling circa 1985.

In the mid-eighties, the world was starting to "smart up" to the "sport." Further, because they were less and less certain as to whether pro wrestling was real competition, fans were becoming bored with matches that included five-minute toeholds, and a simple clothesline as a high-spot of a match. So Vince McMahon starting getting more and more gimmicky. Every wrestler became more of a comic-book character.

I hope what happened to pro wrestling happens to Beck. Eventually, even McMahon admitted it was entertainment-only. This helped put the final nail in most of his competition, as only the deepest pockets could survive the loss of the "marks," i.e., the fans still stupid enough to believe it was on the up-and-up.

As the business evolved further, the stars even talked about the angles openly on the Net and elsewhere out of character (known as "shoot" interviews and dropping "kayfabe"). The only true drama that remained was the business politics behind-the-scenes. Ratings and house show attendances dropped to a point where all that was left were wrestling geeks (and I don't mean that as an insult) who still enjoyed the story lines and admired the performers for the showmen and women they are. And while gimmicks are still a part of the business, the characters came to resemble the most violent and bad-ass of the comic book characters.

Today, there are only two big pro wrestling players in the US market (one real big, the other trying to be a viable competitor), and all others are indies performing in front of 75 people in American Legion Hall basements for free. People are still making money, but not by pulling the wool over anyone's eyes.

This can't happen to Glenn Beck soon enough. I will support and even admire him the day he fesses up that it's all a work, and manages to still generate an audience and earn a living with his brand of entertainment.

Some day, he may still be making millions as an admitted actor/entertainer. Or perhaps he will be asleep at the wheel, protecting "kayfabe," while the business passes him by, a la Verne Gagne. But right now, he appears to be more like Vince McMahon in 1985, his outrageousness at its peak, and knowing what his "marks" will eat up as if his act were legit.

How much more outrageous he gets before finally admitting it's all an act, I don't know. But if he is going to be McMahon in this analogy, and not Gagne, he may have to come clean soon.

Cartoon Character Voices

2011-02-27T17:51:00.000-08:00

I'm watching a modern Scooby Doo cartoon on Boomerang with my 3 1/2-year-old. I think Mindy Cohn is very good as the current voice of Velma. This episode is actually from 2004, but http://www.imdb.com/ shows her as still being the voice today. Not a bad gig for a former child TV star.

Casey Kasem is Shaggy in this episode, although imdb shows that the movie version of Shaggy, Matthew Lillard, is the cartoon voice of Shaggy starting in 2010. Kasem sounds good still in 2004, but over the last few years his voice really started to show its age. So even though I'm not too fond of Lillard as Shaggy (although oddly I found him very good in the movie, just not so much as a cartoon voiceover), I suppose it was time.

You know who is a supreme cartoon voice talent? Frank Welker, the long-time and still voice of Fred. He also does the voice of Scooby in more recent times. Check out his imdb profile; it's quite amazing his list of credits.

Back to Cohn for a minute, the show from which The Facts of Life spun off, Diff'rent Strokes, also brags an alum in today's cartoon industry. The voice of Mrs. Puff is the actress who played the Drummonds' maid after Mrs. Garrett moved on to Facts, Mary Joe Catlett. So now you know why her voice is so recognizable!

Catlett is in her 70s now, so not to wish any ill will on her, but if her voice goes "Kasem" on her, I've got the perfect replacement for her Mrs. Puff character already picked out: Linda Kozlowski. She's Mrs. Crocodile Dundee if you don't recall, and if you happen to get a chance to catch it on late night cable TV, watch her last piece of work on film, 2001's Crocodile Dundee in Los Angeles and tell me she wouldn't be perfect.

This is the kind of stuff I do when my kids rule the TV set. Or when I'm up late alone watching bad movie sequels and logged on to the Internet.

Wherefore Art Thou Watching Movie Trailers?

2011-02-12T08:26:00.001-08:00

I was looking for a movie to take my younger sons to. I think I've settled on Gnomeo & Juliet. It didn't get the greatest reviews, but I'm sure they'll like it, and I enjoy watching my kids enjoy things.

While searching, I decided to click the trailer to The Roommate. Once I clicked it, a player popped up with a message saying the trailer would start after a commercial. I find it a little funny that I have to watch a commercial for the privilege of watching a commercial.

At 2:24, the trailer was just under three percent of the movie, if you don't count the credits. That's way too much. I feel like I've already seen the movie, so Screen Gems probably did itself a disservice by showing so much.

I don't remember what the commercial-for-the-commercial was for, either, so unless it was laced with extremely effective subliminal messaging, it was an all-around fail for them to get any of my money.

That's good, too, because popcorn at Gnomeo & Juliet will probably be about $10.

Bowler's Thumb Strikes

2011-01-24T21:17:00.000-08:00

Bowling league should be interesting tomorrow. So far, I'm having my best season ever. I've had my second highest game ever, highest series ever, most 700s in a league season, I'm carrying my highest average ever, and have a chance to do something I've never done before: bowl back-to-back-to-back 700s. Yes, I know technological advances are a big part of that. But this post is about what could go wrong.

I've been wanting to bowl in some competitive tournaments, and to do that, I need to get conditioned for several games in a row, not just a three-game set. So yesterday I bowled six games of practice in Rosemount, and sure enough, at the end of game six, I noticed I had a blister, and it ripped. So part of my thumb is a bit raw right now, and it stings a little to the touch.

The last time I bowled with such a condition, I toughed it out (eat your heart out, Jay Cutler) for ten games in a tournament, and averaged exactly 160 for the event. I would be surprised if that wasn't dead last place. I keep that event in mind whenever I feel I need a little humility; it was positively my worst bowling tournament appearance ever.

What might save me from a similar experience tomorrow is a product called "perfect patch." The patchwork I attempted in the debacle above was old school "Liquid Skin," which was little more than glorified Krazy Glue and a small mesh patch. Perfect patch can be seen used by many touring pros, so here's hoping it will help.

If not, I will have another experience to fall back on whenever I feel the need to bring myself back down to earth.

PBA ToC on ABC

2011-01-19T19:13:00.000-08:00

This weekend will be one of the biggest weekends in the history of American Ten-Pin Bowling. I specify tenpin, because there are of course other types, such as candlepin, which is a style popular out east, plus a couple variations of duckpin bowling. The PBA Tournament of Champions is taking place, and it will be the richest tournament in the PBA Tour's history. There's $1 million in the prize fund, with $250,ooo to the winner. Second place will pay $100,000. So it's big in that regard, but also in that it could foretell the future of the PBA Tour.

This year, there are fewer tournaments since the very first years of the Tour, and some of the tournaments feature first place checks that haven't been this low in years. Ratings are around a million per show, a far cry from when I watched it pretty regularly in the late '70s and early '80s. I could write several pages on what I think is the cause of the problem, and the cure (hint: accept the loss of popularity, no gimmicks, and respect the game in the broadcasts). Someday I will. (I think I've said that before.)

So this weekend, the PBA Tour will try to rejuvenate itself by putting most of its eggs in this basket. Some cool things include Nelson (Bo) Burton, Jr. being back on the telecast, which will be broadcast live on ABC for the first time since 1997. It will be in HD, which to me is the coolest thing of all, as you will be able to really see the fine points of the ball revolution and reaction to the lane conditions. That's something only a true bowling geek can get into perhaps, but I'm hoping Randy Pedersen's analysis will help the casual viewer appreciate some of the finer points to some degree.

It airs this Saturday at 1:30 P.M. CST, and despite my skepticism of how it will affect (or not) the future success of the Tour, it will most definitely make for compelling television. These guys (and gals) are struggling to make a living, but at least one person (even two, you could argue) might make some life-changing cash. As a purist, I feel I shouldn't be as excited as I am for the show. But as a fan, how can I help it?

A Bowling Video Even Non-Bowlers Can Enjoy

2011-01-10T19:41:00.000-08:00

My dad once told a story to me of the first time he ever went bowling and how he made a strike...on the wrong lane. Somehow, the ball bounced over the gutters and struck on the adjacent lane, although I am not sure which one (to the left or right).

Over the years I gradually came to wonder about the story, until I pretty much forgot it altogether. Last year, an old friend with whom I used to bowl in our youth reminded me of it, and I again wondered, "Did he really do it? Did I remember the story correctly?"

I no longer have reason to doubt my father's story. At the Team USA Bowling Trials recently, the below video was captured. I've already spoiled it for you, but it's still worth a look.

The bowler rolls two conventional, although somewhat fortunate strikes first (one was a light hit, the other heavy), but notice from where he begins his approach. This was made necessary by the difficulty of the lane conditions at the time. As you can perhaps imagine, it can be an intimidating shot for those not used to playing it in their house leagues.

If you'd rather, just skip to the payoff at about the 0:52 mark. Enjoy! (And check out the fist pump after the shot is over!)

My Son: Super Mario Addict

2011-01-09T20:53:00.000-08:00

I'm not going to get any Father of the Year awards for how I'm raising any of my kids, but that is especially true when it comes to my five-year-old and how I am handling his Wii Super Mario Brothers addiction. Today was an especially difficult day, as he was throwing fits pretty consistently for about two hours.

Everything would be fine if I just let him play it the way he wants to. He likes to play the easy levels, and occasionally try a more difficult level. After he gets tired of that, he goes back to the easy levels. But he likes me to play with him, and I like a challenge in a video game. I don't like many video games anymore, but I do like to gradually improve, and I like the games to get more difficult as I improve. This is why I still much prefer the old Links golf game on the PC over Tiger Woods on Playstation or Wii. The Tiger game has it backwards in that the better you get, the easier the game becomes. On the Links game, it's more like computer chess - once you get better, you get bored with the "easy" setting, and move to the more difficult "Pro" or "Championship" settings.

Anyway, I should have stuck to my guns when telling my son to calm down or else I'd stop the game. But I choose instead to try to reason with him while he's throwing the fits, even though it seems pretty traumatic. I love how competitive he is, and I love how no matter how upset he gets, he doesn't want to quit. I do think he'll outgrow this, and since I can relate (remembering my own life-long, self-competitive temper tendancies), I hope I can help him just by letting him play through it.

I do need to limit his time playing the game. It helps that skating lessons start up again tomorrow night, and he still enjoys that more than Super Mario Brothers. I hope that never changes.

Rod Serling's Rockin' New Year's Eve

2010-12-31T19:36:00.000-08:00

It's New Year's Eve, and here I am blogging. My wife is at work on her new third-shift job, and it's her birthday to boot. She also works tomorrow and Sunday nights.

As much as I wish she could be home, I'm still much happier on a night like tonight at home watching the Twilight Zone marathon on the Sci Fi channel. I enjoy the stories, plus recognizing all of the actors before they were stars. Plus, as an introvert who doesn't really like to drink in excess for its own sake, New Year's Eve is pretty much the dullest holiday there is.

I'll be off to Florida Monday on business, returning Wednesday, so it looks like I won't be able to celebrate my wife's birthday with her until Wednesday night at the earliest.

Meanwhile, that looks like a young Sheriff Lobo on the tube...

How Christmas Got a Little More Expensive

2010-12-27T19:40:00.000-08:00

It's been a pretty good holiday season so far. The kids all seemed to enjoy themselves and their presents. Mom and Dad were in Florida, but we did get to spend some nice time with my sisters, nephews, and niece, plus my wife's extended family as well. Thanks in part to my wife starting her new job, we spent a little more cash this year than the past two Christmases, which seems to be the trend in the U.S. this year.

One unfortunate and unexpected extra expense this year will be coming from the heating bill. I discovered just today that the top half of the window by the bathroom had slid down about 1/3 of the way, leaving only the wood blinds and screen to protect us from the elements. Every now and then we had felt a draft, and my wife tells me she noticed the floor was cold by the bathroom.

I happened to walk by the window tonight and felt something of a draft, checked the window, and sure enough...I found the culprit. I have no idea why it wasn't latched. I'm pretty anal about latching windows for the very purpose of not wasting energy.

My best guess is it happened Saturday night when my older kids and I heard a noise we thought was just something falling in the nearby closet. Must have been the window sliding down, followed by our savings being sucked out of the opening.

It's Hard to Bowl With Your Hands Around Your Neck

2010-12-20T20:15:00.000-08:00

Long-time Twins fans will recognize the Gary Gaetti reference in the title of this post. It comes from after the game in late September 1984 in which the Twins had a 10-0 lead, only to lose by allowing 11 runs, thereby throwing their pennant hopes away, almost literally. Gaetti made his quote when remarking after the game on a costly throwing error of his.

It was also in the 1980s when I bowled my first and only officially sanctioned perfect 300 game (February 8, 1988 to be exact). And speaking of 11-10, this past Tuesday in league night, I was perfect into the 10th frame, and made strikes on number 10 and 11. One more strike and I'd have my second perfecto in almost 23 years.

Sadly, I pulled a G-Man, let the adrenaline get to me, put too much speed on the final shot, and threw away a second 300, winding up with a six-count (leaving the 2-4-5-8 "bucket"). Yes, a six-count, for a 296. I could have done better throwing a straight ball. Actually, I did kind of throw a straight ball...that was the problem; it was supposed to hook more.

I placed it right where I wanted to. Bo Burton was famous for saying on the old PBA telecasts that direction is 95 percent of the game. That's not true anymore, what with today's technology. And it wasn't true for me last Tuesday night.

I only hope it's not another 22+ years before finding myself in that position again.

A Couple More Bad Dreams

2010-12-15T21:16:00.001-08:00

In my post last night, I ended with a joke about running from Bigfoot in a dream. While that didn't happen as I dreamt last night, I did have another recurring dream of which I forgot to mention. I'm guessing the reason I had the dream was that after I finished posting, I thought about a couple of dreams I could have added, and thought, "Well, I'll just add them later." Sure enough, I had one of them. Here it is:

7. Being a Radio Announcer Again. This always starts out very positively in the dream, and last night was no exception. In this case, it was my third radio job, in Carroll, Iowa, and I've decided to chase my dream job once again. I get hired in Carroll, even move my family down there, and start my first day back. I reconnect with old co-workers and friends. I thank my old program director for taking another chance on me.

Then all hell breaks loose. During my air shift, I only remember vaguely how to operate the board, I fail to have songs cued up and ready to play, and I don't have the latest forecast ready to read during the weather segment. It's awful, and what starts out as a dream I don't want to end, winds up being one from which I'm glad I wake.

I can't remember what the other recurring dream I thought of is. Perhaps I'll remember it later tonight, before I fall asleep, and tomorrow will be able to write about having the same dream. I'm sure you're hanging on the edge of your seat for that.

My Recurring Nightmares

2010-12-14T22:19:00.000-08:00

I don't have nightmares per se, like the kind with monsters or horror of any sort. Occasionally a dream might be a little frightening, but for the most part, I just have "bad" dreams from time to time. Some of them are recurring. Here are the most common, in no particular order:

1. Plane Crashes. I have recurring dreams of both witnessing plane crashes, like the catastrophic kind, and also being a passenger on them, which are more like the bizarre kind. Like flying between buildings in a downtown area, and then crash landing in a field. I always come out unscathed, and shortly thereafter I wake up.

2. Law School. This is my least favorite of all. I have a lot of school dreams, and many are wonderfully nostalgic, and I'm a bit sad to wake from these. High school, my one full semester at the U of M, and Alexandria Technical College tend to be the "good" dreams about being in school. I always wake up the moment I realize I am in fact nowhere near 18 anymore.

The Law School dreams, however, are rarely so kind. Typically, they will involve me showing up for a class, the name of which I'm typically not familiar, nor have I studied for the day's lesson, or worse, final exam. Absolutely horrible. Let's move on...please.

3. Sports. I hate these because my better sports, like bowling, golf, and softball, tend to take on surreal turns (gee, go figure, it's a dream after all). I might find myself playing golf, and one hole will suddenly include a tee box in someone's living room. This is fine, as there is a large enough gap in the wall to drive the ball through, but my backswing will be obstructed by the bar (as in liquor cabinet). The common link to these sports dreams tends to be that they end up playing on a field much smaller than the real life game, I tend to have little control over what I'm doing in them (for example, I'll find the holes in the bowling ball don't fit), and they rarely last long.

The only recurring positive sports dream I have is when I'm playing basketball and get serious hang time, like I'm practically floating up towards the hoop, and then dunk with ease. But even those kind of suck, like I might find myself having trouble holding on to the ball on the way up.

4. Tornadoes. I always survive these, and in fact some are a little exciting. But then there are the ones where I'm trying to protect my kids in a house that is getting hit by one. I was scared by tornadoes as a kid, so I'm sure that's why I still get these. But at least I've matured so as not to have them be quite so frightening, usually.

5. Bigfoot. Yeah, I know I said I've matured, and I said, "No monsters," but this goes back to my youth as well, when I believed in Sasquatch. They can some times be a little frightening, and often the setting is my grandmother's farm house near Alexandria, MN. They occur less often, however, and I think that may be because over the years I've come to dismiss Bigfoot as a real possibility of existing.

6. Losing my Teeth. I had this one just a couple nights ago. Odd thing about these ones is that each time I convince myself that "I'm not dreaming this time...oh no! I've ground my teeth to the point of them crumbling right out of my mouth!" And then when I wake, I always make sure to bite down to see if they are still there. I do grind my teeth during these dreams, and even used to wear a fitted mouth piece to keep from making my already teeth minuscule by the time I'm in my 60s. I've made it to 44, and they haven't shrunk that much, so we'll see in 20 years or so.

Generally, I tend to like dreams, because the good ones are fun, and the bad ones are always a relief to wake up from. But I do wish I had more "success" in my sports dreams. Especially when trying to run. My feet tend to move like they're stuck in the mud.

Let's hope that doesn't happen tonight when I'm fleeing Bigfoot at Grandma's place.

Down Goes the Dome

2010-12-12T22:09:00.000-08:00

The last time I made a prediction about the Minnesota Vikings, I thankfully was wrong. I predicted EJ Henderson would never play again, or at least never near the level at which he did prior to his serious leg injury last year.

Hopefully, I will improve to 1-for-2 with this one: The latest collapse of the Metrodome roof, sagging ever so near Mall of America Field, will be one day remembered as the turning point in the Vikings getting a new stadium.

Actually, I could get this prediction right and regret it. That is, it could be known as a "turning point" in the Vikings getting their stadium in LA or some other metropolis suitor. For some day, people may remember that the politicians of Minnesota thumbed their figurative noses at the franchise even after proof was given to those not sharp enough to already realize that the Vikings played in one of about three of the worst professional sports venues in the country.

In 1998, when then-governor-elect Jesse Ventura, said that Minnesota did not need a new stadium, he was spot on for two reasons. One was because then-owner Red McCombs was able to secure the team at such a bargain price because of the lack of a top-notch stadium.

The other reason was, to quote Jesse from memory, because we don't tear down schools after 16 years, referring to the Humpty Dump's age at the time. No, we don't, but now it's been 28 years, and we would tear down a 28-year-old school building that was this embarrassing.

Or at least should.

One Reason Why a Wisconsin Dells Trip is so Expensive

2010-11-29T21:30:00.000-08:00

One thing I learned on my trip to the Dells this past Thanksgiving weekend, although it has nothing to do with Thanksgiving or the Dells, is that Dippin' Dots are positively the biggest waste of money on the face of the earth. Almost five bucks for what amounts to a large scoop of ice cream.

Actually, I've known what a rip off they are since I visited the Minnesota Zoo a few years ago, but it finally sunk in because I was, up to that point, proud of how well I was sticking to a budget for the Dells trip. I don't get it. The texture isn't as enjoyable as hand-dipped ice cream, and the kids spill about half of them. I'm hoping even young kids will wise up and these things will go the way of the Pet Rock. At least at that price.

Wisconsin Dells Thanksgiving

2010-11-28T21:04:00.000-08:00

It was a nice, long Thanksgiving break, and I kind of wish I had tomorrow off from work. I think an ideal vacation is one where you get whatever time off spent doing whatever you do on the vacation, then get one day at home to unwind.

My wife and I took our two little guys to Wisconsin Dells, just getting ahead of the nasty weather, last Wednesday. It was my ex-wife's Thanksgiving to have the three older kids, so to make up for what they missed out on, we plan on heading back for President's Day weekend with them. It was also my first Thanksgiving away from them for the entire weekend, that I can recall anyway.

For President's Day, we will probably find a nice resort with a water park built in. This past five-day weekend, we rented a timeshare, which was fine, and had nice facilities, but we had to drive to get to the amusement and water parks. That wasn't so bad, but with five kids along for the trip next time, for convenience's sake, we'll try to stay where there is all that stuff on-site. Another key factor is that it will be more like a three-day weekend, so to cram as much in, it will help to not have to drive around as much.

We'll also need to find something better to travel in than my old Ford Taurus wagon with 120,000 miles on it. If all goes well, and my wife gets one of the jobs she is interviewing for this week, we'll be able to get a minivan. I couldn't justify it otherwise, despite the alternative - seven of us packed like sardines for 3 1/2 hours.

Here's hoping...

Elections

2010-11-10T21:40:00.000-08:00

This being my first post since the election, I suppose it would be appropriate that I comment on how badly the Democrats got beat. I won't profess to know why it happened, but I do believe it had a lot to do with a lot of people being impatient. I also believe it had a lot to do with the success of the right wing media to get people to believe crazy things, at least to enough of a degree to affect votes.

Take the untrue $200 million-per-day Obama trip to Asia, for example. Although the story came out too late to affect the election, it's testamentary to how people are willing and capable of believing some crazy stuff. Then, after presented with the evidence, they'll still either believe it because they want to, or, almost as bad, believe something along the lines of, "Well, it may not be that bad, but there's still a lot of truth to it."

And when you get a lot of folks in the media from the same camp repeating the story as true because "they heard it in the media," even though they are only hearing it from each other, the uninformed fall for it, and in large numbers.

While this does happen with all political "sides," the Right Wing pretty clearly had the lion's share of successful indoctrination of misinformation this go-round.

Why I'll be Voting Democratic This Year

2010-10-31T20:39:00.000-07:00

I don't touch much on my politics here, but occasionally I feel compelled to. In my adult years, I haven't liked the idea of one party controlling the House, Senate, and Presidency. But this year is different.

Unlike past years, I don't plan on voting for a single Republican on Tuesday. Now, I'm not that far left politically. Certainly not on fiscal matters, anyway. Social issues? Definitely to the left. Like gay marriage, which I think is my generation's civil rights. Twenty years from now, if my children ask me how I felt about gay marriage and the right to serve, I'm glad to know that I won't have to lie to tell them I was on the "correct" side of the issue...today's "liberal" side.

I could point to countless things that contribute to my decision, such as the above, but all I really need comes from some of the simplest, yet most misleading lies from the campaign season. Things like calling Obama and Dayton's tax positions, "Job-killing tax hikes." Say all you want about it not technically being a lie, but my Webster allows for it to absolutely be called a lie. They know they are intentionally being deceiving; ergo, they are lying.

"But what about the Dems this and the liberals that, and they do it too, and blah blah blah?"

Yeah, I know. Please spare me the tu quoques. One side has disgusted me far more than the other this year, and it is the party of Lincoln.

But if you insist that, as you should, this is not enough, here's another good example of why I don't want another mid-term like '94, from Dana Milbank at the Washington Post.

Here's a good reason why we don't need a return to the mythified Reagan years.

Still think raising the top income earners' marginal rate by a whopping three percentage points (which they are supposed to do when Bush's failed policy expires) will be "job-killing?" Think again.

I'm totally a "throw the bums out" kind of guy. But not this year.

Too Much October

2010-10-25T20:09:00.000-07:00

Within the span of a week in October, I have a son's birthday, a daughter's birthday, a sister's birthday, and my wife's and my anniversary. Somewhere within about two weeks, all in October, is also a nephew's birthday, a niece's birthday, and a sister's anniversary.

I'm pretty sure I'm forgetting something. Anyway, throw in MEA weekend and Halloween, and October is just too busy a month for me. Almost makes me glad I don't have to worry about following the Twins in the World Series.

No, not really.

New Business Adventure/Experiment

2010-10-11T22:39:00.000-07:00

I used a half day of vacation today to pick up four pallets of return merchandise from a direct marketing company. I rented a U-Haul to pick them up in Chaska, and unloaded them in my garage, where scores of full boxes now sit. My intent is to assemble and/or check the usability of each item, then turn around and sell the merchandise individually on the various online auctions/classifieds.

My costs so far for the merchandise and delivery is just over $800. I don't expect I'll have any problems making the money back and being able to keep some of the items for personal use, gifts, etc. They include unassembled bikes, retro-style turntables, and turntable-cd burner combos, to name a few.

But will I profit? Keep watching this blog for updates on how the venture goes. I will include the accounting to show not only what net profit/loss I incur, but also a diagnosis from an economist's viewpoint (whether it was worth it in the end, opportunity cost, etc.).

I must keep reminding myself that this isn't too far from how Tom Petters got started. Things like that will scare me straight, all right.

Why Pay More? (Maybe they should)

2010-10-06T22:35:00.000-07:00

It's after midnight, and thanks to another Twins faltering against the Yankees, two things are certain:

1) I'll have a dream of the game, during which the game isn't over yet, only to wake up and realize it really happened
2) Every thing that normally bugs me a little will really tick me off for a while

As for the latter, as an ex-radio guy, I really hate lame commercial copy. After the game, on the tube I heard the Vision World tag line, "Why pay more?" I think Taco Bell has been using the same one. I would bet at least 100 small market radio stations across the U.S. are using it for local advertisers as well. Perhaps the Twins' management is as well, and were reminded of the answer by the Yankees.

I can forgive the small market stations. You can only come up with so many different ways to tell the audience that price is your differentiator. For $10 a spot, or whatever the going rate is these days, you ain't getting Madison Avenue.

But from national chains? "Why pay more"??

I'll tell you why, because perhaps by paying more I'll get someone who cares about quality, which apparently Vision World doesn't when hiring copy writers.

Stupid Twins.

Out of Shape

2010-10-03T18:20:00.000-07:00

The diet ain't going so well. The latest plan: Sometime between now and October 25, I am going on crash 30-day plan. Thirty pounds in thirty days. That can't be healthy, but I need to do something drastic.

Weight-wise, I'm not getting any heavier. But shape-wise, I'm not in it. So I won't be just watching what I eat and restricting calories. I'll be working out again, and with a vengeance for a while.

Please wish me luck.

Snoozing and Losing

2010-09-22T20:06:00.000-07:00

As a radio geek and bowling nerd (or is that radio nerd and bowling geek?), I totally blew two opportunities recently.

First, as I reported previously, the Airport Bowl closed its doors. They had an auction on K-BID to liquidate everything. Yes, everything, including their lanes and pinsetters.

I'm not upset about missing out on buying my own set of lanes for the pole shed out back. That would have been so cool, and cheap, but the buyer had to pick it up, which I wouldn't have been able to do. Plus, I don't have a pole shed.

I'm only a little upset at missing out on the several brightly colored house balls, weighing about 6-7 pounds each, the ball racks, various office furniture, etc. What I'm really upset at is that an autographed photo of Kelly Kulick went for only $7.10. Yeah, that's kind of geeky, but follow Kulick's link, and you'll see how incredible an athlete (yes, athlete) she is. I kept telling myself to check in on it just before it closes, and then I got distracted for a few hours, and missed out.

The other thing I missed out on was an original 1965 Minnesota Twins record album, "The Last of the Ninth." I listened for hours to the 1969 Twins LP, "Martin's Marauders" in my youth. Herb Carneal, Merle Harmon, and Halsey Hall. Gordo and Dazzle couldn't carry their jocks.

My uncle still has the record and has told me one day he will copy it to CD for me. How cool would it have been for me to present him with a copy of the 1965 album when he did? Pretty cool, says the geek.

I missed out on this almost the same way as the Kulick photo: I saw it on e-Bay, and forgot to follow-up as the closing date/time drew near. It sold for $20.

Take Me Out to the Ball Game Lyrics

2010-09-21T19:31:00.000-07:00

At every Major League Baseball game, the fans sing "Take Me Out to the Ball Game" during the seventh inning stretch. At the Twins games, they post the lyrics on the scoreboard. They also feature some fan(s) on the PA system singing along.

I noticed during tonight's game on TV that the fan sang, "For it's root, root, root for the home team." This is how many sing it, as have I in the past. The Twins scoreboard lyrics, however, read, "Let me root, root, root..."

So I got curious, and the scoreboard is right. I also learned that the song is actually the chorus to a full-length song penned in 1908. It's all here: Take Me Out to the Ball Game.

I also learned that it's "I don't care if I never get back," not "ever get back." That pleased me, although I don't remember if the Twins scoreboard has that one right.

My Pre-Twins Game Trip

2010-09-15T16:50:00.000-07:00

I'm taking four of my five kids, plus my wife, to the Twins game this Friday. To help save on refreshments, I went to one of my favorite places to get junk food: Menard's. I had a $15 Menard's rebate check, which made it feel almost like I got the stuff free. Except, of course, that I bought much more than $15 worth.

Two things I noticed at Menard's that are the kinds of things I notice. One I appreciated: the express check-out lane said, "Six items or fewer." Nice! Most would say, "Six (or ten, or fifteen, or whatever) items or less." Menard's gets points for being grammatically correct.

The other thing bothers me, 'though. Why does Menard's have a turnstile at the entrance, and one that seems relatively free-spinning at that?

Talent Shows

2010-09-07T19:44:00.000-07:00

If a singer wants to place as high as possible in a talent contest, what type of song should he or she sing? An original? A standard that everyone knows? One of the latest pop tunes? One that best fits his/her talent/voice, regardless of how well known it is or isn't?

I'm not sure if I've mentioned this here before, but I once took second place in a talent show, the only one I've ever entered, for singing Billy Joel's "Piano Man." I was pretty happy with second for a number of reasons, not the least of which was the fact that I didn't even play the piano to it - I needed an accompaniment. (Hey, at least I didn't do it karaoke-style.)

I was reminded of this night from some 24+ years ago this past weekend when my cousin's 11-year-old daughter entered the Minnesota State Fair amateur talent shows. She entered the first one by qualifying at her County Fair, taking first place there. The other one is open to anyone. They both have semifinals each night over several nights at the Fair, with the top two in each division each night qualifying for the finals.

In the first show, she didn't get past the semifinals, despite out-singing, in my opinion, all of the singers in her division. The song she performed was one I had not previously heard of, Ingrid Michaelson's "Everybody." The winning act was a duet, two girls younger than her who sang a Justin Bieber song the world will have forgotten within three years. They were talented, cute, and harmonized well. But not quite up to my first cousin once removed's level. Still, cute won out, and perhaps Biebermania didn't hurt.

In her second contest, the open one, she won in the semifinals with an inspirational song she wrote, "Be Yourself." Lest you think an 11-year-old's song called "Be Yourself" would be some corny, hokey, sappy number, let me tell you...listening to the song a couple times on Facebook actually got me a little choked up. No, it's not Cats in the Cradle (or whatever your own personal automatic tear-jerker is), but its simple message can hit home with kids young and old.

With her original song, she took third in her class in the finals in front of about 10,000 people at the Grandstand Saturday night. I wasn't there to witness her opposition, but I'd be surprised if I would have been as impressed with them as I was with her performance.

Anyway, back to the original question(s). Did doing an original song help her, by showing the judges she's not just another trained young singer? Or did it hurt her, because it wasn't a familiar song to subconsciously be favored by the judges?

The song she did at the earlier contest matched her voice, and she played and sang terrificly. Did she lose to Biebermania because her song wasn't as familiar? Or how about the hula hoop girl who took second? Not sure about that one, as the girl was very good and had a well-planned routine, but for me, there wasn't enough versatility in the performance to put her ahead of the good singers in the competition.

When I took second in my show, the woman who hands-down should have won sang a relatively obscure Broadway tune. She finished fourth or fifth as I recall. One guy sang two short original songs to the backing of his guitar. He was talented, but his songs perhaps not catchy enough in a talent show, and he took sixth, again as I recall. Original songs can help or hurt your cause, depending of course on the song choice. It had better be catchy, and it better showcase your talents well. Otherwise, you leave the judges wondering why you even bothered writing one, when there's plenty of great songs out there already.

The winner was a woman who sang a milquetoast version of "The Rose." So while I was thrilled with second, as that was the best I figured I could possibly hope to finish out of the 20+ competitors, it kind of tainted it that she won. I mean, if the judges (one of whom was then-Minnesota Viking rookie Tim Newton) bungled that, perhaps I was more deserving of something much lower.

I seriously doubt my cousin's daughter would feel she might have deserved lower than third overall. She took a risk doing an original song, so win, place, or show, she showed something the others did not. There's no accounting for taste, but she showed everyone what an artist she already is, regardless of where the judges would score her.

See for yourself. Self-driven and improving every time I see a new song from her, she's a potential star in the making, if she still wants it when she's older:

http://www.facebook.com/#!/video/video.php?v=1557881557814&ref=mf

Getting ready for bowling season

2010-08-30T08:14:00.000-07:00

Historically, I've generally been a slow starter in my bowling seasons, mainly because I would rarely touch a bowling ball all summer. This year I'm making sure I go out a few weekends before league starts. We'll see how that works out, but I hope it doesn't hurt the golf game, what with the state Mid Amateur tournament coming up in three weeks. I'd sure hate to ruin my chances of missing the cut by less than ten strokes.

I took the kids to Cedarvale Lanes this past weekend. My son took a couple of poor quality (cell phone) videos. For the most part, I like what I see, but it seems I'm lofting more than I did when I was younger. I suppose it could be age, maybe my reaction to how the lanes were responding, or it could be that I'm throwing with more ball speed than I used to, and to do it I feel the need to really heave it out there.

Regardless, it's something I'll look at working on, at least to be versatile enough to lay it down more gently when the lane patterns call for it.

I'll try to post the videos when I can figure out how to convert them to a file blogspot recognizes. Next time, I'll try to get our video camera for better quality shots, and thus better quality analysis.

Duct tape Rx redux

2010-08-27T19:42:00.000-07:00

In early June, I posted about a new use of Duct Tape of which I had not been aware. Well, it hasn't worked out so well, so we took our 4 1/2 year-old to the doctor today to have it removed.

When we told him we were taking him to the doctor, he wasn't too happy. He remembered the last visit, which involved shots. We told him there would be no shots today, yet neglected to tell him there would be some pain involved, as we expected to have to have a freezing procedure to remove the "bump," as he calls it.

As it turns out, the doctor recommended a liquid that would blister the skin and remove it somehow. But first, she had to scrape some dead skin with a blade, which was somewhat uncomfortable for him, but not terrible. The blistering is not supposed to happen for a day or so, and that may cause a little pain, but it's better than the freezing procedure.

Plus, we didn't have to lie to him. Although, telling him there would be no shots, and that "this won't hurt" when the liquid was applied, does seem a little like a lie. After all, it will hurt somewhat at some point, and that is really all a kid cares about when asking about shots at a visit to the doctor.

Aside from the fallibility of duct tape, I also learned that it is nearly impossible to find out online whether wart removal is covered by insurance, unless you have the policy manual (I misplaced it). We'll see if Anthem covers it after the fact, but if not, we'll at least get to use our flexible spending account money. We're in danger of having to stock up on ibuprofen in late December in order to use it up.

Bad game, bad ump, bad fans, great day!

2010-08-21T20:08:00.001-07:00

I was at the Twins' 9-3 loss against the Los Angeles Angels of Anaheim today. I got a nice deal from a friend on two tickets, so I took my 11 year-old daughter to her first game at Target Field.

Despite umpire Jerry Layne blowing a call at home, much like a little league umpire would because the ball beat the runner, the Twins deserved this loss. This happened even though Layne was positioned to see it, as Jason Kubel slid under the tag.

I was more upset at a mother, who decided to take our seats with her daughter and two sons while we went up for some refreshments. There were five of us, including my daughter and me, and the mother simply had one of her kids move down a row when my daughter and I returned, while the rest of our party was in the Town Ball Tavern (for the air conditioning).

This was only the third inning. Then, when a different party returned to the seats to where her one son moved, she just moved her son to a different row and had him take her other son with. When the others in our party came back (the sun went behind the stadium, so we were now shaded), she and her daughter went with her boys to yet another row, several rows down from ours.

I would have been embarrassed if I were the kids, but they didn't seem to have a clue of what ballpark etiquette is. One of them stood up in front of my daughter's view for several pitches while he dug in his pocket for a dollar bill.

I should have said something, but I pitied the woman, with her horrible hygiene, her greasy, unkempt hair, and overall social deficiencies. Mostly, I pitied the children, who have to be raised by this woman.

Late in the game, a man and his three boys came down to sit in our row. That's a little more understandable, as many had left because of the lopsided score. Still, this guy looked like he should have had a clue, and he moved right next to one of our party members, while the other two were away getting more refreshments. He was told the seats were taken, and thus just moved down two seats.

I'm not going to be so kind next time this happens. If the stadium is less than half-full, like PNC Park at Camden Yards when I was there Thursday night (yep, I moved to better seats, because the usher told us to site anywhere we wanted in that section), I don't have a problem with this. But when it's a sell-out, and you get busted once, move on. It takes a lot of nerve to just move over into other seats you also obviously did not pay for. Or just obtuseness. It's awful parenting, too.

Another reason I didn't say anything this time was because I was with my daughter, and nothing could bug me that much when I'm having quality time like that. I enjoyed the day. She got a nice lunchbox as a promo, we enjoyed some treats and sunshine, and got a few laughs over the odd woman and her odds-against-them-in-life children.

I recommend this to everyone: When someone is doing something that normally ticks you off, it's not too difficult to change your mindset and make it for an entertaining moment, or afternoon at the ballpark, even.

My mission continued: MLB replays

2010-08-06T15:50:00.000-07:00

I've posted about this blown call by Bob Davidson on some chat boards, so I'm not going to go into detail here. I'll just post the photo I'm referring other people to.

I will say this: Replays show the ball bounced twice in the infield, both on or inside the chalk. This was the third bounce. What gets me so is not that he missed the call, but rather he is actually making the call and not following the ball as it lands in the outfield. Granted, it doesnt' matter where it lands there, but for persepective, especially since replays show it on the chalk on the previous bounce, the ump should be following the ball. Ridiculous.

A Bargain at $30,000; a Shame at $8,500

2010-08-02T21:30:00.000-07:00

Continuing from my previous entry, when I purchased a home in Ortonville, Minnesota, it was a nice, old, three-bedroom, 1 1/2 bath house, with a beautiful dining room, living room, and staircase. Purchase price: $30,000. Even for January of 1993, it was a bargain. The gentleman who owned it was a recent widower, which is perhaps part of the reason for the deal.

My ex-wife and I lived there only until August of that year, when we got married and moved to Iowa. Of course, it's not the relationship I get nostalgic about. It's everything good about living and working in Ortonville, especially this house.

Sadly, in my trip to Ortonville this year, I found the house for sale and in disrepair. It had been 16 years since I saw it last. (My ex and I visited the next-door neighbors once in '94.)

What also saddens me is that I had a dream radio job for my first gig in the business. Yes, it was 3 1/2 hours from the Twin Cities, the station was an old farm house, it paid $6 an hour, the music format wasn't my favorite (but not too bad for my taste: it was Adult Contemporary, with Oldies on the weekend), the equipment was old and not entirely functional, and because of the small market town of just over 2000 people, there were the Sunday AM church broadcasts, crop reports, and the Little Red Mailbox, which is still a daily feature.

But the beauty of the gig was that it was the perfect opportunity to learn by making mistakes, without getting fired. Further, and more importantly, my boss, while at times being a hard-nosed SOB (I don't mean that as an insult, necessarily; in fact, his dad, the owner, used those exact words to describe him while telling me the story of how his son saved the station), wanted me to push the envelope on the air. He actually encouraged me to be controversial as I was cutting my teeth in the biz. And he didn't mind a bit if I had fun with the Little Red Mailbox and made it "my own."

That kind of gig is almost non-existent in small-market radio (even prior to the Telecommunications act of 1996, which led to owners gobbling up multiple stations, like Red McCombs and Clear Channel, as well as, in my opinion, permanently damaging the quality of radio in this country). In the small markets, the last thing the owner wants you to do is offend a listener, especially since the listeners often are the owners of the businesses that buy the advertising that keeps the station afloat. (Or worse: an owner's wife!)

In my third and final gig in Carroll, IA, I recall a couple instances that still make me figuratively ill. One was when our program director had to apologize to a local merchant for suggesting that the winner of the $500 cash prize in the station's current contest could spend it in many different ways, and after naming a couple examples, added, "Or a trip to the Mall of America in Minnesota." This upset the local jacka...uh, merchant, because the P.D. was promoting, heaven forbid, shopping outside of the city.

Another time, a local car dealer, who spent big bucks with the station (small market stations really depend on car dealer advertising, especially when there is good competition among dealers in the market), was offended by an on-air conversation between the news and sports director and one of the air talents. Their offense: stating that they weren't big Nebraska Cornhusker fans. The car dealer was. (Nebraska borders the western edge of Iowa; Carroll is located in the western part of the state, so you find some 'Husker fans in Carroll.) He was so upset, he threatened to pull advertising from the station.

I don't know how that ever got resolved, but I've ever since been not such a fan of the 'Huskers myself, thanks to that whiny maroon.

Anyway, where was I? Oh yeah, Ortonville. That bargain of a house we bought circa January '93 for $30,000 was listed for $14,900 this past May. It was later reduced to $11,900, and I just found it online tonight, reduced to $8,500. Just sad. It may have finally sold at that price, for I found it on a couple MLS-type real estate sites, but on most of the sites from the Google results, the listing was gone.

I don't know how much the low price is due to the economy, nor how much is due to the disrepair. But I took some photos, and while the main color of the house is the same uninspiring, but not too badly aged green, the rest looks awful, and I can only imagine how bad the inside got (from pets, perhaps?) to bring it to the cost of an old, used car. Hopefully, I'm wrong about my perception.

Below are the photos I took of my old, aging friend. Hopefully the new owners, whoever they are or are going to be, will bring it back to the condition I found it during the winter, some 17+ years ago, when I had my dream job.

From the front. The house never looked that great from the outside,

in part because of its old style and bland green color. From the

inside, it was a different story. I do hope it's still just as nice, and

is priced so low primarily because of other factors, such as the

economy. Someone will have themselves a bargain if so.

A little more close up from the front.

The garage is looking pretty rough. The top is still discolored from

the basketball hoop I installed. The driveway needed a lot of work,

too, but I forgot to download that photo. Lots of cracks and weeds.

Visiting the Columbian Hotel, 17 years later

2010-07-31T21:18:00.001-07:00

In late May this past spring, I took a golf trip to Western Minnesota with a golf buddy from work. He is originally from Benson, MN, so that was one of the towns we visited on our three-day trip, during which we played four golf courses.

Another town we visited was Ortonville, MN, located on the south part of the "hump" of Minnesota's western border, next to South Dakota. My first radio gig was in Ortonville (1350 KDIO), back in 1992. Shortly after accepting that job, I started dating a girl from the Cities who would soon move out to Ortonville with me, and a year later become my first wife. (Yep, way too fast...)

We first lived in the Columbian Hotel, an historic building which was then owned by my boss at the radio station. We would later buy a nice old house, which I will write about in a day or two. The Columbian was a charming building, but obviously needed a lot of work. I've tried to keep somewhat abreast of Ortonville happenings since moving a year later in 1993 to Marshalltown, IA. All I know about the Columbian is that after some troubles keeping it going and keeping it from ruins, new ownership has a plan to refurbish it and open it for business again some day.

Photos of the building are below. I'm not sure whether the plan is to keep it as a hotel, but I am pleased to know it will not be deserted forever, or worse, demolished any time soon.

The Columbian from the front. A real beauty!

Renovations to the main area, as seen through the front window.

(I hope the owners don't mind I did that!) For the first few weeks

on the job, I lived in the room behind the door you see in the center.

After that, my boss created a two bedroom apartment in the back

of the hotel.

The rear of the Columbian. It had a walk-out basement, so the platform

where you see the boards standing is actually level with the first floor.

The door to the left of the boards enters the apartment in which I lived

before getting a house.

A Toy Story 3 story

2010-07-27T19:13:00.000-07:00

My 16-year-old had not yet seen Toy Story 3, so even though my wife, the 3-year-old, the 4-year-old, and I had seen it, we were game for taking the "big brother" to it this past weekend. It was the first time I had seen the same movie in a theatre more than once since "Miracle."

We saw the matinee at an AMC theatre, which meant $7.50 for each of us big folks, and $5.00 each for the little ones, if I recall correctly. Expensive, sure, but far better than full adult prices for evening showings. But then came time for the large pop and popcorn to share, plus small treats because we stupidly didn't stop at Rainbow to get treats to smuggle in. The large pop and popcorn were about $5.50 each. People don't often realize it, but refreshments are so expensive because the theatres make pretty much zilch on the movie tickets.

Just before placing my order, a mysterious gentlemen tapped me on the shoulder and said, "Here, take these if you can use them." They were two self-printed coupons for soda and popcorn. I thanked him politely, if lacklusterly, and checked out the coupons.

At first glance, I thought they said $1.00 off. Then I saw they said $1.00 each, but thought I wasn't going to use them, because I wanted large. Finally, I realized they were indeed for large sizes, and valid on that day only.

Like a scene from a movie, when I turned to thank the stranger a second, more emphatic time, he had vanished. This stranger saved my family $9.00 in a moment of thoughtfulness, when he could have just tossed them away.

I enjoyed Toy Story 3 very much the first time. I enjoyed it much more the second.

Mom and Dad's 50th Anniversary

2010-07-16T18:44:00.000-07:00

My mom and dad celebrated their 50th wedding anniversary last weekend. I'm not sure how it all started, but any decently sized event our family holds and invites guests to includes a "program" where my sisters and I, and sometimes others, put together a few stories and sing some songs.

Typically, my older sister and I will bring our guitars for accompaniment, but because we knew we'd have minimal time to rehearse, we used a karaoke machine for back-up. It was cheesy, but easy.

I sang "Playground in My Mind," a one-hit wonder from the '70s sung by Clint Holmes, and my kids sang along to the choruses, except my oldest, who at 16 is too cool for that kind of thing. If you don't know the song, you're either too young, or you simply know the song as the "My name is Michael, I've got a nickel" song.

I sang that one was because we told stories about growing up, and this was the perfect song to bring in a new generation of singers at these gatherings. My grandmother loved the song, largely because of the "We're gonna let them visit their grandma" line, and I thought it would be nice for my mom to hear her grandchildren sing it.

I also backed up my sister on "Raindrops Keep Falling on My Head," and I sang the Statler Brothers' "The Class of '57," because my mom graduated high school in 1957.

If you're unfamiliar with the Statler Brothers song, the cool thing about it is that despite sounding at first take like a typical '70s country-pop tune, the lyrics are deeper than they may come across at face value. It basically tells one-line stories of various schoolmates, some more successful in their post-high school endeavors than others, with a few words of wisdom in the choruses. Even though it was presumably about people who have been out of high school for about 15 years (based on the copyright date of the song), it is pretty timeless.

I'm sure a lot of people scoff at anything the Statler Brothers did. And while I'm not generally a fan of country music, I don't automatically dismiss every song from the genre. Besides, they really were more eclectic than that.

My favorite line from the song, which wraps it up near the end: "Things get complicated when you get past eighteen." I hope as a father I can prepare my kids well enough to fully understand and appreciate how true that is. Especially my "cool" 16 year-old.

Happy 50th, Mom and Dad. I don't know which event we'll sing at next - perhaps I can get my kids to sing at my 50th birthday party less than six years from now.

A Bowling List

2010-07-06T19:39:00.000-07:00

With golf season in full swing, and my not having touched my bowling balls in two months, I thought it might be fun to post a list I've been thinking about over the years.

Top All-Time Professional Bowlers' Names

5. Bob Handley (Non-bowlers may not appreciate it, but "more hand" is bowling slang for what you need to throw a bigger hook.)
4. John Handegard (A perfect product-endorsing name for bowling, like if a golfer were named "Woods." Imagine that...)
3. Larry Laub (What happens when your thumb sticks.)
2. Gary Skidmore (And thus, hook less.)
1. Charlie Tapp (Minnesota's own, whose name is the golf equivalent of Charlie Shankk, Whiff, or Yipp. Only Charlie Gutterball would be better.)

Honorable Mention: Guppy Troup (In golf, Arnie had his Army. This guy's fan club could have just used his full name.)

I thought there also was once a bowler named Loft, but can't seem to find proof of it, as Googling "professional bowler Loft" gives you the metaphorical haystack in which to find the needle.

And just for fun, a little off-topic, the best name for a bad NFL punter: Bucky Scribner. That name sounds like what you would call a bad punt.

How not to spend time on your vacation

2010-06-30T21:03:00.000-07:00

It's after 11:00 P.M. on a Wednesday, right in the middle of my vacation, and I'm getting upset because I can't seem to get the wifi to work so I can check e-mails.

I don't have a job that requires me to check e-mails while on vacation, but it is a job that necessarily means I will return with over a thousand e-mails when I return July 6 if I do not check them and delete the deletables. My Outlook inbox is likely already filled to its limit, which is stressing me out more than any subject matter I may find once I do get in.

It's weird stressing out over something that will really not matter one bit once I return from vacation. My July 6 return will be filled with catching up regardless of whether I stress about it now, and whether I do anything about it once I get into the wifi. If I ever do get in, that is.

It's also frustrating that I drove over a half-mile to do this, as our room does not get wifi.

If only my golf game was good enough to relieve the stress.

Opposites attract

2010-06-16T21:36:00.000-07:00

I hate slow walkers. My wife is a slow walker. OK, I don't hate her, nor other slow walkers really, but I hate getting stuck behind them in places where I'm not even trying to walk fast - just at a nice, lively pace.

My wife hates slow drivers. I am a slow driver. OK, she doesn't hate me, nor other slow drivers, but she hates getting stuck behind them in places where she only wants to go 5 mph over the speed limit. I don't really drive slowly, either, just typically 1 mph slower than the normal flow, unless I'm in a hurry, which isn't often.

She really gets stressed out over other drivers, which causes her to tailgate, cuss, etc. And that stresses me out even more than she already is.

But you know what's good for stress? A nice, lively walk. It's supposed to be, anyway.

World Cup

2010-06-15T20:56:00.000-07:00

At the risk of sounding like another ignorant American, I just can't get into the World Cup. But to all those worldly, smarter-than-I fans of the game, who "get it" like I "obviously" do not, I have a few things to say, in no particular order:

1. Because I don't enjoy the game as much as the "Big 4" American professional team sports does not mean I do not enjoy the game.
2. Because I would like to see more scoring in an average game, does not mean I do not "get it."
3. If soccer is such a pure sport, why is the most important game of the "best game in the world" allowed to be decided by the luck of a goaltender's guess? (Oh, that's right, I know the answer...because I just don't "get it.")
4. If soccer fans do not have the same short attention span as we glib Americans, and fully understand and enjoy the beauty of the game as it is, why must they blow those vuvuzela's from start to finish, in a game that takes a mere 2 hours total time to complete? (What's to "get" there?)
5. Because I criticize the game as I do, does not mean I do not enjoy it.
6. I greatly appreciate what soccer players can do with the ball without resorting to their hands. Because that does not entertain me to the same extent as many other sports, does not mean I do not "get it."
7. Soccer, like many other sports and games, is great fun to play. It just ranks lower on my list of sports and games I enjoy watching. Which, again, is not the same as my saying I do not enjoy watching it at all.

OK, I think I've made my point(s), although I admit there may be some straw man arguments in there. I probably will watch the World Cup final for the same reason I watch the college women's softball finals, and other sporting events I otherwise don't regularly follow. That is, when something is truly on the line, I enjoy pretty much all forms of athletic competition.

I'd just rather clap along with an organ than blow a vuvuzela.

Yes, I do see the potential for the sophomoric innuendo joke in that last sentence. Have at it, if you wish.

Duct tape: It really can do anything

2010-06-07T21:46:00.000-07:00

We took our four-year-old to the doctor today to look at what appeared to be a wart growing on his foot. Actually, his "Mema" took him, at her insistence, and it pains me to admit I'm glad she did.

It is indeed a wart (we had hoped it was merely a corn), and my wife and I had a brief discussion about whether it is a Plantar wart. She said because it is on the bottom of his foot, it is by definition a Plantar wart. I disagreed in my head, kept my mouth shut, Googled it later, learned to my satisfaction I was right, and continued to keep my mouth shut.

From http://www.howtodothings.com/:

"Plantar warts often appear near the balls of the foot or around the heel (essentially, the places that most likely made contact with the virus in the first place). You can feel the lump of a plantar wart as you walk, but when you look at it, the wart appears surprisingly flat. Due to their location on the body, plantar warts grown inward as opposed to outward. As a result, the wart won't look like a wart on someone's face. A plantar wart feels like a callus because it's covered in callus tissue due to the frequent pressure of walking. Often the planter wart will appear darkly discolored, sometimes with the appearance of a small black core (which is a blood clot, not any physical materialization of the virus itself)."

So yes, a Plantar wart does appear on the bottom of the foot, but exhibits no likeness to the wart my son has. His is outward-growing and has none of the small black cores explained above, which I once experienced in my early twenties.

What I did not expect to learn was the home remedy for it: duct tape. It kills the virus I guess, and eventually the wart goes away. It is supposed to work for "real" Plantar warts, too. I was very glad to know my son didn't have to have it frozen off, for his sake and mine, as I'm not sure my insurance covers the procedure.

I used a daily regimen of a prescription cream, Band-Aids, and a razor blade to remove mine back in the late '80s. It was kind of gross and creepy to self-mutilate my way to a wart-free foot. It was a lot cheaper than freezing the warts off, but it was no match for duct tape.

Those little marks that use their influence

2010-05-29T21:41:00.000-07:00

(The title of this post was taken from the punctuation song from the Electric Company in the 1970s.)

I think it was in seventh grade when I read "Flowers for Algernon." It's a story about Charlie who gets smart because of new, experimental drug treatment, but then reverts to his below-average intelligence and eventually dies. A real heartwarmer.

Sorry, perhaps I should have put "spoiler alert" first.

Anyway, one of my favorite parts of the book was when Charlie wrote in his journal, "Punctuation; is fun!?!" Or something like that. While he was getting smarter, he was learning about punctuation, but had not yet learned how to use it correctly.

We all have our grammatical and spelling pet peeves. Misuses of "they're, their," and "there," for example. One of mine is how the period and the question mark seem to be interchangeable in e-mails, particularly at work.

I get that it's just e-mail. I support people keying their message quickly for efficiency's sake, which might mean a little carelessness. It isn't a college theme paper, after all. I hope people afford me the same leniency in judging some of my blog posts.

I guess I've just seen it so often, and many times from the same offenders, that it just gets under my skin.

Do you know what I'm talking about. I don't know why they do it?

If reading the above two sentences bothered you, congratulations. If you didn't notice anything, you might be one of the "repeat offenders" of which I complain.

How Do They Keep Their Jobs?

2010-05-19T20:31:00.000-07:00

This is beneath me, but I just need to memorialize the ineptitude of another major league baseball umpire tonight. Mike Winters, who might have been qualified to fill-in as a last minute replacement for a little league no-show tonight, was absolutely brutal. If you can find Justin Morneau's fourth inning at bat somewhere on the net, check it out.

It's not the only example, but it's pretty comical to see in a matter of seconds, with strike two on an outside pitch, and strike three on the inside, an umpire's hallucination of a 26-inch-wide plate.

Winters was so bad, I'll even forgive Brian Runge for his erroneous showing-up of Nick Punto on the pick-off call at first.

Bowling: Youth Wasted on this Youngster

2010-05-11T20:58:00.000-07:00

On February 8, 1988, I bowled my first and only 300 game. Five days later, I bowled a 290. My name was mentioned in the late Bob Schabert's bowling column in the St. Paul Pioneer Press two weeks in a row for these feats. In the span of about two weeks, I had bowled four 700+ series. This was back when this type of scoring actually still meant something, and all before my 22nd birthday.

No, I'm not bragging. I wish I were, because then I could say how much I have accomplished since then. In a sport (or game if you prefer) that saw scoring inflation in the '90s akin to what Major League Baseball saw in home runs, and unlike baseball has not reeled it back (although I doubt steroid testing is anywhere on bowling's horizon), the question to ask a good bowler is not whether they have bowled a 300, but how many have they bowled.

I'm still awaiting my second.

I'm at peace with it, because only last year did I decide to really take advantage of the equipment revolution that began in 1992 with the first commercial reactive resin cover stock balls. I was only a casual bowler between '92 and '08.

The reason I was only casually involved was because I burned myself out. I had some talent, desire, and a world of potential. But what I failed to do to make it to the next level(s) was in the mental part of the game: both in learning the technical parts, and dealing with the emotional intelligence part.

With that, I present my season stats from the 1987-88 Evangelical Lutheran bowling league at the now-defunct Minnehaha Lanes. (I'm not Lutheran, in case you are wondering.) This was not the same league in which I bowled my 300 game, which is good, because in that league, I also bowled a 102, and I'd rather you not see it (although I did just tell you). Yes, my high and low games for the year were 198 pins apart! That's gotta be some kind of record.

You will see the same type of inconsistency, however, in the stats from this league, which show that while I had nights where I could put it together, I couldn't quite hang with the big boys. I tried to compete in the local CBA and other scratch tournaments the following year, but failed miserably, and was too emotionally unintelligent to handle it. I quit for a couple years, made a return to league bowling again in the early '90s, and was pretty much done after that. You could say I peaked at 21, and was washed up at 22.

One thing is for sure with regard to my recent attempt at a "comeback": I'm going to have fun doing it, results be damned. One way I will make sure of it is to coach my four-year-old son as he joins his first bowling league next year.

Bowling with my kids always puts me in the right frame of mind...except when the two-year-old runs in front of the people two lanes over.

2009-10 Bowling Season

2010-05-10T22:17:00.000-07:00

This bowling season was my most successful yet, although I only bowled part time (42 games out of 96). Of course, technology had a lot to do with it. But I do think I am pretty close to where I'd like to be. Spare shooting is still an area for improvement, as is just general education on lane conditions, oil pattern reading (especially when it breaks down).

Here is how the season went:

At the risk of self-inflicted back-patting injury, the highlights of the year were personal bests in average and three-game series, a nice rebound from a weak start, a decent won-lost record, a profitable season in third-game "pots," and a first trimester win for the team.

Lows included poor spare shooting, and an inability to finish off what should have been 700s in three of the weeks. For fun, let's compare this season to 2008-09:

My plans/goals for 2010-11:

1) Pick up a new ball that reacts differently from what I have, so that I have a more well-rounded arsenal

2) Bowl tournaments and cash in at least one CBA event

3) Compete in the USBC Nationals in Reno and average 190 (no small feat, even for a 218 bowler)

4) Work on spare shooting to average 225 in league

5) Bring bowling closer to a hobby that pays for itself

I had similar goals back in the late 1980s. I'll post some info on how that went next time.

Here's a sneak preview: Not well.

Topics (Mostly) Off Limits

2010-05-09T19:43:00.000-07:00

There are two topics I generally avoid on this blog and on Facebook. They are religion and politics. You know the old adage, and I follow it fairly closely in cyberspace, be it in my original posts and musings, or in response to others'.

I don't really have one main reason; rather, it's a combination of many. I'm going to list several contributing factors, but please understand that none of these account for more than 33% of my reasoning, and some may contribute less than 1%:

1- I might lose friends, who of course aren't real friends if they can't accept me for blah blah blah...
2- A decision-maker holding my career fate may find it, and worse, may not like it.
3- Simply put, I'm non-confrontational.
4- Some people are so clueless, that it's not worth the bother to do it even for the sake of interesting conversation (I almost said "stimulating intercourse," but that could have been taken wrongly).
5- The cyber world is so public and permanent. That just makes me a little uncomfortable. Oh sure, writing about my passion for watching televised bowling, including 30-year-old archived footage of the PBA tour on YouTube, does not. Go figure.
6- I have a few "closeted" beliefs that might shock people close to me, and their hearts might be weak.
7- Things in writing are far more likely to be taken out of context later, and become far from the true spirit of what I've said. It's better to talk such things through, so you can clear up any possible misconceptions right then and there.
8- My friends have diverse ideas, and I try to respect them all.
9- It invites trolls.
10- It invites non-trolls, but ones who think they are making a sound argument, yet have little idea as to where critical thinking and logic begin.

There's probably more, but they start to overlap. (See nos. 10 and 4 above, for example.)

I will offer this glimpse into my political leanings: As a social liberal and fiscal conservative, I'm no "Capital L" Libertarian either. I tend to be more socially liberal than fiscally conservative. I don't mind paying a little too much tax to help welfare recipients, even if some are "working" the system, because I know that some truly need the safety net. (I don't buy the argument that charity would be enough.)

Put another way, I get less upset about a welfare mom having another kid than I do a philandering politician trying to keep gays from marrying because of some "sanctity of marriage" nonsense.

But don't think that it's not a close contest between the two in vying for my contempt.

Cell Phones

2010-04-27T20:37:00.000-07:00

I got a Blackberry through work several months ago, but still use my old cell phone. My two-year plan with Sprint is not up for another few months yet, and we all know how impossible breaking those contracts are. I use the Blackberry to occasionally check work e-mails, but that's about it.

I'm not big on having the latest and greatest in technology, with some exceptions when it is truly beneficial to my hobbies and such. For example, I got a SkyCaddie when they were still this mystery device seen in SkyMall magazines. But I haven't upgraded to one of the "new and improved," in color, and even satellite photo-using models. I've almost lost it on the golf course a few times, but I'm still hanging on to my old SG-2 model as long as it continues to suffice.

I also bought a bat speed meter back around 1990. It was expensive, but extremely useful. After all, how do you know if you're getting better if you can't measure it? It would be like lifting weights without ever keeping track of how heavy they are. I never had to replace that, either. It looks (and feels) like a dinosaur, but functions just fine, even though I'm retired from softball(again). I plan on training my sons with it as soon as I get it back from a friend who borrowed it for his son. I can wait; they're still pre-K.

So even when I get the latest in technology, I'm not looking to replace it just because it comes out in a new model. When my wife and I got our Samsung Instinct phones with our Sprint plan, I was less than enthused. She thought they were awesome - Samsung's version of the iPhone! I found myself wishing I had an old plain cell phone, and a smaller monthly bill to go with it.

But I will give it this: it's durable as heck. I left it on top of my car a couple weeks ago, and you can tell it got run over at least once. A nice Eagan police officer found it. It still works, although when using the touch screen, you have to press the item below the one you want. I've accidentally called (and hung up on) some folks on my speed dial, and it's not even worth trying to text or access the Net with it, but it's impressive nonetheless, and I'll stick with it until our plan expires. Then I'll probably downgrade our plan to one phone, and make the Blackberry my only mobile device.

I might even get it upgraded by my employer from time to time, but I'd be fine if not.

Bowling On TV and Movies

2010-04-19T12:35:00.000-07:00

(Note: I originally wrote this entry in December, 2009, and forgot to publish it. Only today did I discover my error. I have added a couple bits about Chris Barnes and Brad Angelo, and Big Bang Theory to make it more timely.)

I just finished watching a lame Saturday Night Live sketch about bowling. As a long-time bowling geek, I appreciate the subject matter. But they've just committed one of my all-time pet peeves of bowling-themed shows, movies, etc., especially when it is supposed to be professional bowling, as in this skit.

It's not the lack of believability in the characters' skills. I get that they are actors and can only do their best. But when they show someone roll the ball, then switch the shot to the pins getting knocked down, and you see a "Brooklyn" strike, followed by the player's reaction of expecting it, it pisses me off.

Brooklyn strikes occasionally happen even among the pros, but whenever they do, the pro always reacts with body language as if to say, "Whew....sure got lucky on that one!" Or perhaps in a satirical cocky manner, clearly not meant to be taken seriously (e.g., Brad Angelo against Chris Barnes in the 2010 Lumber Liquidators Marathon Open, although perhaps Barnes did take it a little too seriously). Next time you watch the movie Kingpin, look for Bill Murray's character to do just what I'm complaining about. You should also see one in the recent Big Bang Theory episode in which bowling was a central theme (also Wil Weaton's second cameo, if that helps you Google or YouTube it).

They even have "bowling consultants" for these programs, which makes it all the more inexcusable. OK, maybe SNL didn't, but I know that a recent CSI episode that featured pro bowlers did. That episode had lame bowling as well, but what really torqued me off about it was the ending: A championship match finishing with one guy (the killer in the story, actually) needing to convert a 7-10 split to win, which he did, acting cocky like he "had it all along."

For you non-bowlers, that's as bad as a movie or show featuring a poker showdown that ends with one guy beating four aces with a royal flush, and then acting like he knew he'd win because he's such a better poker player.

Yeah, sure, happens all the time.

Let's Leave the Sportscasting to Sportscasters

2010-04-12T20:44:00.000-07:00

I wasn't at the long-awaited Twins home opener at Target Field today, but I did get goosebumps watching it on TV. I loved the throwback uniforms, too.

You know what I didn't like? The air-headed banter on WCCO news tonight about the game. Like many others I suppose, I hate pretty much all of the news desk chatter cliches:

- The bad segue ("Speaking of baseball, this weather sure hit a home run today!")
- Ending the newscast with stupid remarks and fake laughter
- Non-sports people acting like they're really into it, and hip to sports as well

There's so many more, but let's try a case in point from tonight's broadcast on that third item. Early in the broadcast, Amelia Santaniello remarked, "Professional baseball was played outdoors in Minnesota for the first time since 1982." Or words to that effect. The key words I know I did not get wrong were "Professional baseball," and no, Amelia, this was not the first time since 1982 or in 28 years or however you put it. This was the first time for Major League Baseball outdoors in Minnesota.

OK, fine, that's a minor point. But I can't let this one go: cheaper-than-Paul-Douglas weather guy Chris Shaffer compared this opening day with the last outdoor home opener for the Twins in 1981. The weather was similar, so nothing much to report there (I was waiting for him to say it snowed in 1981). But then Shaffer dropped this beauty (again, I paraphrase): "You might remember a couple guys on the team that opening day: Gary Gaetti and Kent Hrbek."

Wrong again. Gaetti and Hrbek weren't on the 1981 Twins roster until September call-ups. A more interesting tidbit, not mention accurate, would have been that Sal Butera, father of current Twin Drew Butera, was on the roster that day. Also, Twins bullpen coach Rick Stelmaszek's first year as Twins' coach was...wait for it...1981.

There was also a really bad segue tonight, but I got too worked up to remember it.

Damn Devils

2010-04-05T21:02:00.000-07:00

I'm not a Duke hater, although I was a bit peeved over the favoritism they seemed to get at key moments tonight from the officials. What really got my goat (love that phrase) is that I was all set to pick Duke in my bracket selection this year, but went with Kansas at the last second. I changed my mind because of some of the things I had read about Duke being "overrated," and recalling some overpaid ESPN desk-sitters saying Kansas was "clearly" the best team in the tournament.

I usually get into one bracket pool at most every other year, and spend all of five minutes on it. This year I decided to read about ten minutes worth of commentary before filling it out, and despite doing awfully early on (like most), I finished 7th out of 73. Had I gone with Duke, I would have finished third, good enough to cash.

I guess those same experts may have been right that Duke didn't deserve such an "easy" bracket, but that's extremely debatable. Bottom line for me in future pools is to heed some stock market advice I read long ago, from Harvey Mackay (I think): Trust the experts...to be wrong.

I will also not throw away future entries by picking the Gophers in two upsets if I don't really believe they have a chance, now that I know I actually can do all right without the knowledge of the "experts." Those games and a Duke win would have been enough to pay for the golf on my recent trip to Branson.

Baseball's Loss is Rock-n-Roll's Gain

2010-03-24T21:16:00.001-07:00

Some twenty sophomores tried out for baseball at Elk River High School. My son was among them, and was also among the 6 or so who were cut today.

I recall missing the cut for my junior high baseball teams (both A & B squads) in 7th & 8th grade. I was a fair ball player, with a decent swing and good hand-eye skills, but physically underdeveloped for my age. Plus, having skipped 2nd grade, I was a full year younger than most in my own grade. I was an 11-yr-old trying to make the cut amongst 15-yr-olds.

It's easy to make excuses, and a nasty trap. I've never completely gotten over what skipping a grade, plus having a later birthday, did to my school-days sports pursuits. Studies have convincingly shown the benefits an earlier birthday in the school year has on an athlete. Adding a full year to that late birthday, frankly, sucks.

So I ended up pursuing games I could work on in solitude, and thus ended up lettering, barely, and only in my senior year, in golf (long before it was cool), and being among the top two bowlers in my school (still not cool).

But back to my son. I can't help but feel for him, knowing that had I been a better parent, he would have had a fighting chance. It's not easy, being I only see him every other weekend, and we live an hour apart, but there I go with excuses again. Did I really have to watch the ball game, golf match, etc., when I could have been playing catch or pitching BP to him? Sure, we did some of that, but not like a father and son who see each other only two out of fourteen days should. You'd think I wouldn't have wasted a moment of that precious time.

He's got the right attitude, and I'm super proud of him for that. He is a very promising young drummer, and wants to work more on that with his newly-found spare time. Like bowling, he can work on it for hours at a time if he wants (and he often does).

Plus, it's a heck of a lot cooler than being a bowler.

Volkswagens and White Castles

2010-03-18T19:38:00.000-07:00

Even more than the McDonald's Lenten Fillet-O-Fish commercials, I find myself very annoyed by the new Volkswagen commercials, where they promote the "Punch Dub" concept.

First, they're simply not funny. Second, they are apparently trying to embrace the old "Slug Bug" stigma and replace it with a new, less stigmatic, yet hip association with the brand.

It bothers me because if they are going to embrace it, then they should fully embrace it. White Castle did it right when they finally embraced the "Slider" slang term for their burgers. The days of dirty looks from the cashier when you ordered "six sliders, please" were gone for good.

I see no reason why VW shouldn't embrace the old "Slug Bug" tradition in its original form.

Then again, White Castle has yet to embrace the term "Gut Bomb," so maybe there is a line to be drawn somewhere.

Bracketology

2010-03-14T18:27:00.000-07:00

I'm not enough of a wonk to talk NCAA bracketology with much credibility. But I did follow enough of a couple of teams to say this, and leave it at that:

I'm happy Minnesota got in, but as an eleven seed sure seems rather silly. That means the committee thought they were one of the top 44 teams.

Northern Iowa, a top-20 poll team, and #17 in RPI, and they get a nine seed? I'd like someone on the committee to explain that one.

Schweigert to be the Target Field Hot Dog Supplier

2010-03-08T20:12:00.000-08:00

I grew up on knothole days at the old Metropolitan Stadium in Bloomington. The simple memories of those games at the Met I will treasure forever. The first view of the outfield lights while pulling closer to the field by the Northwest Orient Airlines hangars. The anticipatory walk from the Thunderbird Motel parking lot (where Mom would park for free, and never got caught). And those wonderful 50-cent Schweigert hot dogs (and 50-cents was expensive back in 1975!!).

Remember this jingle from the '70s?:

What could be better on a sunny day
Than watching the Twins winning all the way
And sittin' in the stands and shoutin' "Hurray!"
With a hot dog
Schweigert hot dog

It's the one you get
When you're at the Met
'Cause going to the ballgame is great fun
And Schweigert makes it better

Yes, I remember it word-for-word, and could sing it, too.

This is going to be one fun summer at Target Field. The only thing they could have done to make it better was to schedule a June 26 game against the White Sox. I can see Joe Mauer raising his average to .406, Jim Thome getting eight RBIs and a grand slam. All while my kids wear their promotional Joe Mauer jerseys.

Those of you in my age group probably know exactly what I'm referring to. Others may check out these links to appreciate it, and hopefully catch Twins fever: June 26, 1977. Patrick Reusse's 30th anniversary column.

Here's a telling difference between the Met and the Metrodome: The Metrodome provided me many terrific memories because of the teams on the field. The Met provided many terrific memories because of the ball park. (And because, of course, I was a much more impressionable youngster.)

Here's hoping Target Field will be the best of both, starting in 2010. And here's to Schweigert making it better!

Miller Shines, but Canada Wins Gold

2010-02-28T19:10:00.000-08:00

What a shame for Ryan Miller to have ended his brilliant Olympic run with a goal he should have stopped. A poor-angle shot by Sidney Crosby seemed to have caught him by surprise, and he committed what I always thought was the Cardinal sin of leaving your stick off the ice when in position, leaving the five-hole particularly vulnerable.

(I could be 100% wrong about that goal, but it looked to me like a stick on the ice would have stopped it. I will correct this if I later discover I am wrong.)

When I played goalie, almost to a fault I made sure the stick was on the ice if at all possible. Perhaps I didn't control rebounds as well as I should have. But I very rarely got beat in the five hole on the ice.

I was also pretty good on breakaways, although I'm sure that was in large part because I was too slow to fall for any dekes.

Regardless, Miller rightfully won the MVP of the Olympic hockey tournament. Hockey gets it right. It's happened in the NHL playoffs, too. There's no reason the MVP of a series or tournament has to come from the winning team. It helps, but shouldn't be a requirement.

So the USA was the best team throughout the Olympics, and even beat Canada in six full periods of hockey. But timing is crucial, and Canada got the most important goal. Congratulations to our friends in the Great White North, eh.

Another Mom & Pop Closing

2010-02-25T19:25:00.000-08:00

In a sad case of serendipity, I took my family bowling last Saturday night to Airport Bowl in Richfield for the first time ever, and then found out this week they are closing this summer. I have driven by the 12-lane house probably a couple hundred times at least, and finally tried it out for the first time ever.

The owners are literally Mom & Pop (but not mine), having run the business for 25 years. Their son reports that they haven't drawn a salary in two years, and because of the declining nature of the business of bowling (at least in small houses not tricked up with lasers and black lights), plus rising real estate costs, selling isn't even an option. They will simply vacate when the lease is up.

The good news is the couple will get some much-deserved rest and relaxation, and they are not hurting financially for their retirement years. My wife, who is horrified to think of how I am getting my four-and-two-year-olds hooked on the game, even mentioned when we were there, "We should buy a bowling alley like this."

"That would be a dream," I thought, although now I'm re-thinking that with this news. I do love small houses like the Airport Bowl. You don't see too many more in the Twin Cities. Saint Bernards', Country Club, and Ran-Ham come to mind. Falcon Bowl closed a few years ago to development, as did the Stahl House, just to name a couple.

Sadly, at least to a reborn bowling geek like me, this is less a statement of big corporations taking over the Mom & Pops than it is a sorry statement of the state of bowling. There are a lot of ideas out there, but I honestly don't know what can be done to grow the sport back to at least a semblance of what it was 20-30 years ago.

I'm glad I at least got to contribute some $60+ to the couple's retirement the other night (there were eight of us including a friend, plus we had drinks). I'll be stopping by at least one more time before it closes to pay my last respects, and hopefully help make the couple's golden years a little better, if ever so slightly.

Pushing the Envelope

2010-02-22T18:59:00.000-08:00

I thought I had learned the origin of an old adage today, but instead I am only more confused. I learned where "Pushing the Envelope" came from, or so I thought, while reading the book We Got Fired!...And It's the Best Thing That Ever Happened to Us by, appropriately enough, Harvey Mackay, founder of the Mackay Envelope Company. (Don't you hate when people say "Ironically" in situations like this? No, "appropriately" is the appropriate word.)

On page 98, Mackay explains the origin thusly:

Meaning: to fly the plane so fast and hard the outer skin (envelope) verged on exploding.

Out of curiosity, I googled the phrase, and came up with this from http://www.phrases.org.uk/:

In aviation and aeronautics the term 'flight envelope' had been in use since WWII, as here from the Journal of the Royal Aeronautical Society, 1944:

"The best known of the envelope cases is the 'flight envelope', which is in general use in this country and in the United States... The ‘flight envelope’ covers all probable conditions of symmetrical maneuvering flight."

That envelope is the description of the upper and lower limits of the various factors that it is safe to fly at, i.e. speed, engine power, manoeuvrability, wind speed, altitude etc. By 'pushing the envelope', i.e. testing those limits, test pilots were able to determine just how far it was safe to go. By 1978 the phrase was in use in print.

I've always enjoyed Mackay's books, although I can't say my way to the top has been expedited because of them, unless I was on the 100-year plan without them. I often wonder how much his stories are embellished for dramatic effect.

But they are good reads, and in the case of this book, it's not only for people who get fired (I haven't been...yet, knock wood), but for anyone who could use a different perspective than that of following the straight and narrow as a path to career fulfillment. Sometimes, as exemplified in some of the stories from the book, the best thing you can do is fire yourself.

Valentine's Day

2010-02-14T09:34:00.001-08:00

I am not a big "Holidays guy," and that is especially true with Valentine's day. I think the best thing my wife and I can do for each other is to not waste money on greeting cards, chocolates, flowers, etc., especially while her job prospecting continues.

We are, however, going to finally see Avatar today. It's a movie we would see anyway, but because it is Valentine's Day, my mother-in-law will be watching the little guys for us. Call me hypocritical, but I guess it's kind of nice that at least someone believes in "Hallmark holidays."

Bowling Revolutions

2010-02-03T19:25:00.000-08:00

One thing I am trying to accomplish in improving as a bowler, despite being only a part-time bowler for now, is to educate myself in the game more than I did when I was younger. So I am paying attention to the finer things in PBA tour telecasts, league bowlers, and my own game.

Rev rate, expressed in revolutions per minute (RPM), is one area in which I'm paying more attention to lately. Not only am I seeking my own ideal rev rate, but I am also paying attention to what rev rates are required to succeed at the highest level. Ball speed is another area I'm paying attention to.

Some sample PBA players and their ball speeds and rev rates, from the Winter 2009-10 issue of USBowler:

Rhino Page - 17/18 MPH, 310 RPM
Tom Smallwood - 15 MPH, 350 RPM
Bill O'Neill - 17/18 MPH, 450 RPM
Wes Malott - 18/19 MPH (but looks like he's hardly trying; he's one strong dude), 400+ RPM

These were general estimated averages, which is about all I can come up with for myself without some high tech equipment. In a meeting at work this week, I scribbled out some estimates. (Don't worry; it was a meeting I was required to be in, but in which different groups reported on their status. My part lasted five minutes.) It's a good thing I remembered my algebra. I guess my teachers were right when they said some day I might use this stuff at work.

To figure out my RPM I need to use what little info there was available to me. The bowling center has a feature in which your ball speed is calculated. My shots averaged 15.5 to 17.5 MPH. Part of the wide range is because of my own inconsistency, but much of it is also in experimenting with the lanes and shot as I try to find the optimal way to the 1-3 pocket. My average and ideal speed did indeed seem to be right about in the middle at about 16.5 MPH.

So as with my golf game, my ball speed is not among the big boys, but somewhere in the mix of the elite. That's encouraging.

Back to RPM. My best guess as to how many revolutions my ball performs before hitting the pins is 12-13. With that knowledge, and my ball speed, I can figure out rev rate.

Thus rev rate = revolutions per minute
= revolutions per mile x speed in miles per hour / 60 (to convert hours to minutes)
= 5280(feet in a mile)/60(feet in lane length) x 13 revs x 16.5 / 60
= 314.6 RPM

Plugging in different numbers to cover the range of ball speed (15.5 to 17.5) and revs (12 to 13) give me a possible range of 272.8 to 333.7.

This has PBA potential, but it probably wouldn't hurt to up the rev rate another 25 or so RPM. Typically, the only lower-rev players who've made it big on tour are lefties, like Rhino Page. (Why that is the case for lefties can mushroom into sometimes heated discussions.)

The most successful PBA player in history is the right-handed Walter Ray Williams, Jr., whose rev rate is around 300 RPM (my best guess). But Walter is the exception that proves the rule. They call him "Dead Eye" on tour, because of how ridiculously accurate he is. Nelson Burton, Jr. used to always say direction is 95% of the game, and Walter's success seems to back that up.

How accurate is he? Consider this: Williams is a six-time world horseshoe pitching champion.

First of 101: Lose 40

2010-01-31T20:01:00.000-08:00

I have 101 goals for myself in 2010. Since I failed so miserably to act on my minimal amount of goals last year, I thought I'd try something different. If I hit even half of these, it will be a good year.

I expect to share many of them over the year, but for now, just this one: to lose 40 pounds. A few people told me I'll be "too skinny" if I do that, but I know me better than that. I didn't let myself go too badly last year, but believe me...a 40-pounds-lighter me will be just fine.

Vikings Fall Short Again

2010-01-24T19:29:00.000-08:00

Just a few thoughts right after my Vikings turned over a chance to return to the Super Bowl.

This one wont hurt anywhere near eleven years ago against the Falcons. I still have nerve damage from that game, which will no doubt help me avoid future pain in games like this.

I do hope Favre's legacy doesn't end up being that he fumbled away his last two NFC Championship games. But that is what happened, so it will be interesting to see how Vikings fans hold him in their hearts in the future.

I will be dreaming tonight that Brett decided to ramble, hobble, or hop six yards to get Longwell a chance to win it. I'm serious...I almost always have dreams after big emotional losses, and in the dreams the game isn't over yet.

Oh well. Not sure whom I'll pull for in the Super Bowl; probably the Saints when I'm over this. Let the fumble jokes begin.

What did Brett Favre order at the New Orleans McDonald's? A Hot Cajun Turnover.

Needs work, I know...

Air America

2010-01-21T20:31:00.000-08:00

It appears Air America, the liberal radio network that wanted to offset Hannity, Limbaugh, et al, is going dark. As a left-of-center ex-radio guy, my honest feeling is good riddance.

I've always believed there is a huge market for liberal radio. It should be simple to fulfill, really: Hire good radio broadcasters with liberal leanings; don't hire liberal leaning folks and hope they'll make for good radio. Yet Air America never seemed to get it.

To wit: I love Al Franken's writing, and when I read transcripts of what he says, I tend to appreciate that, too. But he flat-out sucked as a radio host.

I don't mind conservative thinking; I have right-of-center views on more than a couple issues. But Limbaugh and Hannity, while I admit are very good as radio hosts, are scum of the earth in my book. I just want an honest argument, and right-wing radio fails miserably in that regard (not that liberal radio is perfect).

There is good liberal radio out there: Stephanie Miller, Rachel Maddow, and Ed Schultz immediately come to mind. Finding corporate sponsorship is no doubt more difficult for the format than it is for conservative radio. But the main problem liberal radio has had is that, so far, it has not found the right mix of talent and (lack of) scruples from its lineup to challenge the big boys on the right.

Late Night Stuff

2010-01-18T21:01:00.000-08:00

In the Leno v. Letterman debate, I'm a Letterman guy. Jay's show is more polished, and the jokes are definitely more mainstream. Being in LA aids Jay in getting better names for guests, too. Dave did make his act more mainstream when moving to the earlier slot at CBS from his Late Night gig at NBC, which disappointed me a little, but I think was necessary to compete in the 10:30...excuse me, 11:30 time slot (you're welcome, East Coast snobs).

But Dave himself is a naturally funnier person, especially in impromptu moments while interviewing guests. Jay just bugs me whenever he delivers a line, scripted or not.

All of that being said, I found it a bit disturbing that Dave was going to great lengths to ridicule Jay on his program. We all know Dave wanted the Tonight Show when Johnny left, but he never seemed to hold it personally against Jay. They apparently no longer had been friends, but it was more likely due to their competitiveness.

All of that changed last week, as Dave was mocking Jay's high-pitched voice and large jaw, among other things. Jay fired back with a joke about Dave taking "shots" at him, but that he at least wasn't taking "shots" at interns anymore. A good one, I admit. I also enjoyed Dave's response tonight as to why he's been doing it so "mercilessly."

"Because I really enjoy it...that's all I've got!"

Two things are apparent: 1) Dave knows all eyes are on NBC for the moment, so he has to really push the envelope to keep people tuning in to see what he's going to say next. 2) Dave really feels Jay is in the wrong in all of this. I don't know why he would, but I wouldn't be surprised if he knows a little more than we do about all that has been going on behind the scenes.

What about the others?

Kimmel: Blah.

Ferguson: Took a while, but he's really grown on me.

Fallon: May as well have given Rob Schneider the show.

Daily: Never watch him.

Conan O'Brien: Has always bugged me in his impromptu antics. It's one thing to be a nerd and use it as your shtick so that it becomes cool. Conan tries to do that, and just comes across as more nerdy.

It's all opinion, of course, and I'll steal a Martin Mull line, appropriately (Mull was very good in the satire late-night talk show, "Fernwood Tonight"), which was originally meant for music as the subject matter, but relevant for comedy as well: "Talking about (comedy) is like dancing about architecture."

If you enjoy that line, I would guess you, too, are a "Dave person."

A Very Macro Microbrew

2010-01-08T22:07:00.000-08:00

While in Columbus, Ohio on business last night, I went out to a bar with the work team I was meeting with for some after-meeting socializing. The young woman who greeted us asked for our order.

"I'm not from around here; can you recommend me a local beer?," I asked.

She replied, "Umm...Bud Light?"

Absolutely, 100 percent true.

Now, we all must remember that even the craziest thing a person says may have a reasonable story behind it. I found out later that Columbus has a large Anheiser Busch distribution.

Unfortunately for the under-dressed waitress, that actually precludes any possible excuse she might have for her hilarious response. You see, at first I thought perhaps she just misheard or misunderstood me. But knowing about the local Anheiser Busch plant, I realize she most likely actually thought she was giving me a "local" brand name.

That would be like me responding thusly to someone visiting Minnesota and asking me if I could recommend a good local restaurant:

"Umm...Dairy Queen?"

Birthday Bowl Game

2009-12-29T20:11:00.000-08:00

I don't know what I'm more excited about for this New Year's Eve: My wife's birthday, or the Insight Bowl, featuring the 6-6 powerhouse Minnesota Gophers vs. 6-6 Iowa State. (Just kidding, honey...)

I recall a conversation two uncles of mine were having in 1977. The Gophers were invited to this new "loser bowl," as one of them called it. That was the inaugural (and now-defunct) Hall of Fame Classic, which they lost to Maryland, 27-17. This new bowl game had brought the total of college football bowl games to a whopping twelve.

In 1985, the Lou Holtz-led, 6-5 Gophers earned a trip to the Independence Bowl, which they won 20-13 over Clemson under coach John Gutekunst, who had replaced the Notre Dame-headed Holtz by the time the game was played. It was one of fifteen bowl games overall.

In 1986, the Gophers were again bowl-bound at 6-5, despite a 63-0 shellacking at the hands of Oklahoma, and an embarrassing non-conference loss to Pacific. The also now-defunct Pacific Tigers finished the year 4-7, losing its final five games, including two to three-win teams (the also also-now-defunct Fullerton State, and the Utah State Aggies). For more perspective, only the more recent loss to North Dakota State was worse in my lifetime, and the recent wins against North Dakota State and South Dakota State were about as bad.

The Butch-Nash-pep-talk-inspired upset win over Michigan that year saved the season, as did, perhaps, the addition of two more bowl games, bringing the total to seventeen. They lost to Tennessee in the Liberty Bowl, 21-14. I remember reading and wondering about where the integrity in the bowl system was headed.

In 1999, the Gophers finished 8-4, after losing to Oregon in the Sun Bowl. It was one of 23 bowl games that season. It was around this time that the prestige of bowl games had come to the point of schools defining successful seasons by whether they made it to a "New Year's" bowl game, presumably meaning one played on or after January 1.

This season, there are 34 bowl games. The Cyclones of Iowa State have lost a couple close ones, and they defeated Nebraska. They were also much more impressive in defeating NDSU (34-17) than the Gophers were in defeating SDSU (16-13, a game in which the Gophers' offense did not score a touchdown). I would assume that puts the Gophers in the role of the underdog.

Here's what I find especially funny about this bowl season: There are fourteen bowl games played on or after January 1. That's two more than all of the 1977 bowl season. What's more, some of those games are far less prestigious (e.g., Papa Johns, GMAC) than some of the pre-New Year games (e.g., Brut Sun, Champs Sports). The term "New Year's" bowl game has been rendered meaningless.

My wife is a former University of Minnesota varsity swimmer. I am a long-suffering Golden Gophers fan. So just as I did with my wife on her birthday last year, I'll be pulling hard for a Ski-U-Mah victory just before ringing in the New Year on Thursday. A bowl victory on my wife's birthday, followed by some Auld Lang Syne - does life get any better than that?

Rah!

Bittersweet Day at the Magic Kingdom

2009-12-23T21:10:00.000-08:00

My wife and I took our two boys, ages 2 and 4, to Walt Disney World's Magic Kingdom today. It was their first visit, and they really enjoyed it, especially the four-year-old, because he got to meet many of the characters, including Mickey Mouse.

Today was also the birthday of my late father-in-law, the first birthday since his passing last May. My wife understandably was hesitant to go to Disney World on this day, but it ended up being a very nice distraction. The smiles on the boys' faces helped her forget, if only for some of the time.

On a different note, sort of, I would love to go to all of the Disney theme parks on my own some time. I am an avid admirer of the man's vision, and the attention to detail you find in the parks. One of the nice things about waiting in line for 45 minutes just for a picture with Winnie the Pooh and Tigger, too, is that it gives someone like me a chance to be introspective about it all. But I'd rather be walking around taking more of it in.

As chance would have it, the History Channel aired its Modern Marvels - Disney World episode tonight. For grownups who may need a different perspective from which to see "It's a Small World" without losing a little of their lunch, I highly recommend catching this episode.

Rules of the House

2009-12-10T20:48:00.000-08:00

If I buy a half gallon of my favorite ice cream, and you would like some, don't wait. I will have finished it in three late night sittings.

With many other foods, I will most likely be considerate and make sure you have had a chance to take in a fair portion - Oreo Double Stuff cookies, for example. But not ice cream. You're welcome to have some, just don't wait more than a couple days, or you're likely to miss out.

This will no doubt have to change if I am to reach my 2009 weight loss goals in 2010. At least the ice cream companies think I'm too stupid to notice their half-gallons have shrunk to 1.75 quarts, and now 1.5 quarts. The way I see it, I'm eating less in three late-night sittings than ever before.

A Very Bad Break

2009-12-06T20:24:00.000-08:00

When I saw Napoleon McCallum injure his leg in 1994, my first thought was, "His career is over." Unfortunately, I was right. I had no medical knowledge to guide me other than remembering hearing it was that type of injury that ended Gale Sayers' career. I'm not even sure if that's true; it just looked that bad.

I fear tonight I have seen another career-ender in Minnesota Viking E.J. Henderson's injury. When the knee bends the wrong way that far, it's not good, to say the very least.

The Vikes look bad tonight, and without Henderson the rest of the year, it'll be tough. But right now, my thoughts are with E.J. I seriously doubt he will ever play again.

Another Saturday Night at My House

2009-12-05T18:23:00.000-08:00

It seems every time I post a blog entry, I think I have to write a chapter of a book and include some deep thoughts, or something elongated to either make one chuckle, smile, or think. I don't tweet yet, but my other short thoughts end up as Facebook entries, so the blog posts tend to be infrequent and long. I hope to tweet soon, but also blog more, even if it means short, silly entries like this one.

So without further ado, here it is:

My wife and I are sitting on the couch together on this cold Saturday night. Romantic, no? No. We are both on our laptops, I on my blog and she playing Farmville. She's also on the phone with her best friend, while listening to Bette Midler, and two televisions are on. The boys are in the basement playing the Wii. I just think it's funny, nothing more.