Tough Night at the Lanes

Dang, did bowling suck tonight. I bowled a 548 off games of 165, 182, and 201. Our first place team took only 7 out of 28 points. If I am ever going to make the comeback* I want in this game, I will need to get my current equipment re-drilled and get some new equipment to boot. I will also need to simply bowl more. Or I should just learn to be happy with a 548, which hasn't been the case in about 25 years.

But I learned a couple things tonight that I wouldn't have years ago, so that's a good thing. Unfortunately, one of them, not to be afraid of the far inside line, I didn't figure out until late in the third next.

We'll get 'em next time.

* This is somewhat of a misnomer, as to make a comeback, it is presumed that one actually was somewhere desirable to begin with. With a career high average of just over 200, and only two honro games (290 and 300) to my credit, that's hardly accomplishing anything in this sport. And yes, I called it a "sport."

Homersota Jumps The Shark

When I first heard of the Web site Homersota.com, I loved the idea and couldn't wait to check it out. This was over a year ago, and for the most part, it didn't disappoint. Some of the regulars mentioned, such as Mike Max and Dave Lee, were certainly deserving of the ribbing. But over time, I've found it to be a good idea that, unfortunately, really isn't done very well.

I remember first visiting Jumptheshark.com some ten years ago, and while it, too, has become a more clever idea than the actual entertainment value of visiting it provides, it at least is good for many a chuckle and even somewhat interesting thought (as much as pop culture can provide, anyway).

While I am probably in no position to criticize a good idea, while I sit here on my boring, free blog, I think Homersota.com has jumped the shark for, among others, the following reasons, in no particular order:

1) The most obvious reason is the lack of updates. You used to be able to find a Homer of the Week; now it's Homer of the Month, and the most recent entry is July 2008.

2) Questionable sources. Unlike the political site Mediamatters.org, where even if you disagree with the authors, you are at least provided with links, in context, to the original source of the story. Homersota tidbits often seem like they came from a friend of a friend who heard it from someone.

3) Questionable opinions. It's everyone's right of course, but to wit:

Honoring an example non-homerism from "this month" (July 2008): Some blunt commentary from columnist Patrick Reusse as he stated Coach Tim Brewster was “delusional” and that his team would not win a Big Ten game in 2008. (Snide remarks: Hindsight isn't just 20/20. While the Gophers are a pleasant surprise at 2-1 in the Big Ten thus far, and 6-1 overall, I don't see how any thinking person who follows the Gophers actually believed they would not win a Big Ten game this year. This type of non-homerism does not deserve positive reinforcement; it deserves ridicule.)

And how about this supposed example of homerism (from June): “Shooter” Walters wrote that Joe Mauer would be great at pitching to teammate Justin Morneau if he were to participate in the All-Star weekend’s home run contest. (Snide remarks: Context, please. And is this among the best you could find for a whole month? I think it would be very cool had Mauer pitched to Morneau, and I'd bet he'd have thrown more strikes than Morneau saw, despite ending up winning. Any Twins fan who saw the HR Derby this year knows what I mean.)

4) For the same reason I've never been a big Tom Barnard of KQRS fan, the personal jabs bug me on the site. I'd rather see the homerism made fun of than the actual people. (Barnard has made a very nice living out of basically reading us the newspaper and making fun of people just, well,... just because he knows they're idiots.) There needs to be more substance, context, etc. to make it that personal. But then, maybe I'm being too Minnesota nice here.

There is time to turn it around at Homersota.com, however, and it's certainly better than no Homersota.com at all. There still is a lot of good humor and plenty of things with which I agree on the site. Plus, I like the drawings. It just seems that as for the periodical updates, the author has been getting a little lazy. There is plenty of homerism to report on; let's hope Homersota.com can un-jump the shark.

Hmmm...that gives me an idea. Think of a show that jumped the shark, but then recovered for the rest of its run. That would be a good idea for a new Web site. Like maybe if Happy Days had gotten better after Joni and Chachi got married. (I know, it didn't, and of course they spun off to a new show...but stay with me here.) Then you could have a term like, "Married Chachi."

So you could say, "Yeah, that show really jumped the shark with that one episode, but then it married Chachi the next season, so it was good again."

I've got some work to do with this latest early retirement idea of mine. Meanwhile, here's hoping Homersota.com marries Chachi.

Kegling Again

Sad to say, but through much of high school, the Alexander Ramsey High School bowling league on Fridays was about all I looked forward to, at least during the winter months. Now, after a five-year absence from bowling in leagues, I have joined a league in Apple Valley.

The nice thing about this league is that it is three-man teams, which means you are done in about an hour-and-a-half. Five-man teams are a bit too much, because you sit and wait so much. I think four-man teams are ideal, because it is still nice to socialize at the lanes, but if I were to choose between three and five, I definitely prefer three.

It's also nice that there is no smoking in the bowling establishments anymore.

I am only bowling part-time, perhaps once or twice a month. The main thing I want to make sure of is that I get 21 games in by season's end so I'm eligible for handicap tournaments. So far, I've bowled one week.

My intent was to keep a lot of fun stats on bowling this year, but I've temporarily misplaced my makeshift score sheet from my first week. I scribbled it on a torn corner of "The Metro Bowler," a publication only slightly more interesting to non-bowlers than blog posts about bowling.

I do remember my scores: 206, 195, 206, for a 607 series. What was odd, and very un-like me historically, is that I had only one open the whole night, a Greek Church in the second game. My spare shooting has never been my strong point, but I am going about it differently this year. I will go after all 10-pin, 6-pin, and 6-10 leaves with a 13-pound "house" ball. A plastic ball with a conventional grip won't hook (much), and at that weight is easy to control. So far so good, but I've got to string more strikes together next time.

Hopefully, before my next league night, I'll have some new equipment to use and talk about. I'll "spare" you for now...if you've made it this far, that's pretty good.

Random Thoughts on the Twins' Season

My mind is racing a mile a minute thinking about the season that could have (should have been). The negative and positive, mostly the former, but in no particular order:

1. Thanks for saving the money by not signing Torii or Johan, Messrs. Pohlad. Sure would have sucked to have that extra attendance at premium ticket prices in the post-season, eh? Enjoy your new stadium we gave you, cheapskates.

2. Let's hope the young kids that comprise this team not only learn from the experience, but that it makes them hungry to finish the job next year.

3. Justin....hello? You there?

4. I highly recommend watching the final outs of an elimination game with the sound off. It somehow helped lessen my anger and just keep it at a mild depression.

5. Blackburn had Thome struck out his first time up, but the ump didn't give it to him. It wasn't even one of those close ones...the ump simply blew it. I wonder whether Thome would have seen the meat pitch he hit 450+ feet had that not happened. (Yeah, I'm reaching a little here. Don't get me wrong, the Twins do not deserve to do anything but play golf and watch baseball on TV this October. But I love to think of the what ifs, even if we had won, especially when it comes to officiating.)

6. Why on earth am I watching Twins Live after the game? A bunch of positive fluff on "this amazing run" in the words of Anthony "How is he in a major market?" LaPanta. Sorry, Anthony, the Twins blew it. It's not an amazing run when every time you get a 1/2 game lead, you stall (or give it right back). Let's hope they learn from it.

7. Even had the Twins won the division, it was far from "magical." 2006 was a magical season. 1987 was a magical post-season. This season was a couple teams hoping the other would lose, including tonight's game. The nice comebacks were far outweighed in this fan's memory by the blown games.

8. Stupid small ball. They are Pirhanas when it works, but let's be on it. At the end of the day (season), they are Punching Judies. Nothing against them personally...the team, Gardy and staff included, did what they could with the talent they have.

9. I've just turned the TV channel finally. Still on all the positive fluff crap and I couldn't take it anymore. "What a year Joe Mauer had," says LaPanta. Puhhllease. A good player had a good year; let's not over-do it. For the record, I am glad he hung on to the batting title. But in a way I'm glad Mourneau lost the RBI title...as long as the team lost the division anyway, that is.

10. Fret not...I'll still sleep like a baby tonight.

T-133 is OK by me

Now that the 2008 MGA Mid-Amateur is over and Adam Dooley has defended his title, I have put most of the negatives behind me (one quad, one triple, no birdies), and am quite pleased to think of the positives. So please, pardon my indulgence as I put my happy thoughts into cyberspace. To wit:

1. The final full-field results show that with a two-day score of 167, I finished +24, 11 strokes out of the cut line. Last year, with a score of 175 on much tougher layouts (Deacon's Lodge and The Classic at Madden's), I finished (if I recall correctly), 14 strokes from making the cut. So I improved on both fronts.

2. The final course stats revealed I did fairly well amongst 224 players who are better than me according to their handicap indexes. Day one stats at Edina CC showed me just over 3 strokes higher than average. I blame my triple-bogey seven on number two, one of only two "others" (scores higher than double bogey) posted on day one.

Day two stats show that my score of 81 at Braemar was about 1.7 strokes higher than average, and I blame my eight on the par four 13th (the only "other" posted on that hole day two).

3. From an original field of 240, trimmed to 236 by Monday, then down to 218 thanks to no-shows, then again to 184 after post-round-one withdrawals, my T-133rd placing actually sits quite well. I don't recall where I finished in the field last year, but I seem to recall it was around 150th.

4. Two rounds, no lost balls. In fact, that makes 3 1/2 rounds of no lost balls for me. Sure helps with the budget.

Ever since my final match in high school golf in 1983, a tournament of 10 teams or so at Hastings Country Club, in which I finished dead last at 100, the only player to not break 100, I've had a thing about just trying not to finish last.

While I fully plan on raising my personal bar next year, for now, 133rd out of 240, or 236, or 218, or 184, isn't that bad. Heck, that's better than I finished in law school, where I also set the personal goal of not finishing last. (Although I would have accepted last. You know the old joke about what you call a guy who finishes last at Med School...)

Next year's State Mid Am is at the Minnesota Valley CC in Bloomington, MN, another course at which I have yet to play, and another site yet to be determined. Here's hoping for a top-130 finish and less than 10 strokes from making the cut (but I'll still put in for a vacation day for day three, just in case...).

86'ed in Edina Means No Golf Wednesday

Day one at the Minnesota State Mid Amateur golf tournament is over, and Adam Dooley leads with a freakish 67. Half the field played at the Edina Country Club, which played significantly more difficult as expected, especially with today's 20+ MPH winds.

Dooley shot his 67 at Edina CC. Good heavens. I shot 86 there. With a little course knowledge and a few better breaks, I could have possibly trimmed it to an 80. But that's pushing it.

Weather permitting, I'm hopeful round two at Braemar will be better tomorrow. Oh, and remember how I was ranked #225 (tied) going into it? I'm sitting at T-175th place after day one. So while I'll have to shoot the round of my life to make the cut for Wednesday's third round, I'm OK with where I'm at. It's a learning experience, and a lot of fun, too.

Some guys with lower handicaps than I didn't break 90 (see round 1 results here). Plus, for the second round in a row, I didn't lose a ball. That's always good. Except that my previous round was a 74, on a course with a 74.2 rating and 133 slope. That made for a stroke differential of -.2, my best ever for a round of 18. The slope differential for my round today will be about 9.4, thanks to a triple bogey which will be recorded as a double for handicap purposes. I would argue, however, that the Edina CC played much more difficult than its 73.3 rating and 140 slope with today's tournament set-up and weather conditions.

If you're not bored with all of this slope differential talk, read more at this site. In short, you'll see, in part, why a five handicapper does not usually shoot five over par.

I'll settle for five over each nine tomorrow, although I can probably do better, even if it's windy like today. Rain, however, is another story. Then again, if it rains and storms tomorrow, maybe I'll get to play Wednesday after all.

News Anchors Lazy

(Prologue: Looking back at my post from September 8, I realize I need to pay better attention to my typos. It is only a meaningless blog, but still, gee whiz...)

Typos on a blog are not a sign of low intelligence. Nor are incomplete sentences spoken by a news anchor. But the latter, the subject of this post, really, really bug me.

When I went to Brown College for Radio and Television Broadcasting, I actually learned quite a little. More importantly, I learned how to learn for the profession.

Some things I learned I abandoned, because I learned how to learn what things I learned I could abandon. (I think that makes sense.) So even though I learned to say, "Twenty-seven minutes after seven o'clock" at Brown, I later learned to say, "Seven-twenty-seven." Important, sophisticated stuff like that.

One thing I learned, however, I never abandoned, yet apparently more and more news anchors have. That is, lead a story with a complete sentence.

Tonight, Mike "Pretty Boy" Pomeranz on KARE-11 led a story with, "A bicyclist dead tonight in Minneapolis." I don't know if that was the exact story; I do think it was about a bicyclist, or a pedestrian, or a human, who maybe died. The point is, it was not a complete sentence.

Why anchors think they need to do this, I do not know. I also don't know if the person who wrote it for the teleprompter wrote it that way, or if the anchor took some liberties.

I suppose the reasoning is similar to why newspaper headlines are not in complete sentences. But that really doesn't make complete sense. The newspaper headline for the same story would likely read, "Minneapolis Bicyclist Killed." That way, bigger letters can be used without filling up so much column space. Plus, just the key words are needed to interest you into reading further. But the only way the anchor economized was by removing the word "is." And if I'm not interested in that story, I can't just move on to the next one; I have to wait until he's done with that one. So he may as well speak in complete sentences from start to finish.

Maybe it's just laziness, much in the same way we always have to abbreviate things, like saying "thx" in an e-mail reply, or one I've done many times, documenting the history of an issue by typing, "Jun 30." (No, that was not a typo, I was making a point of how silly it is to abbreviate such a short month like, oh, never mind...)

Paul Magers was the consummate professional in my book. He even pronounced short-lived the right way! (With the long "I" sound, like "eye"...most people say it the other way.) I think when an anchor begins a story with an incomplete sentence, it is their way of trying to sound more authoritatively "newsy," and thus more professional. To me, it makes them sound no more professional than shuffling papers at their desk going into a commercial break.