Tsunami

The first-person accounts and footage of the Tsunami in Japan is hard for me to turn away from. I have such a creepy interest in the power of flowing water.

It's a bit hard to explain. Take heights, for example. I can look out an airplane window with no problem. I can look out a high-story window and enjoy the view.

Looking straight down, however, is like the flowing water thing. I'm curious enough to look straight down, but then after several seconds, I have to get back from the view. It's not a "frightening" thing so much as it is a creepy thing.

So when I'm next to a large, flowing river, once in a while, I can get pretty mesmerized.

I'm not sure I'm even making sense to myself, so I'll conclude with this anecdote. When I was about 12 or so, I went tubing down the Apple River in Wisconsin. At one point I found myself so in my own world that I allowed myself to flow all of the way to the end of the line, to the wire that had a sign saying words to the effect of, "No tubing beyond here."

I don't recall being scared or anything, but I just held on to the wire, still in half a trance, staring past the wire at what looked like an increasingly strong current. An adult waded out, took my hand, and pulled me to shore. He didn't "save" me or anything, but the experience was perhaps creepy enough for me to have had a lasting impact.

Oddly, however, it's not for myself I get "creeped" out about flowing water, it's for others. I don't know how I'll deal with it if I ever taking my kids to the Apple River. One thing's for sure: I will need to keep them in close proximity to me the entire time.

Glenn Beck and his Marks

Someone made this comparison somewhere on a political forum I frequent, but I'll elaborate further: Glenn Beck is Pro Wrestling.

Specifically, he is Pro Wrestling circa 1985.

In the mid-eighties, the world was starting to "smart up" to the "sport." Further, because they were less and less certain as to whether pro wrestling was real competition, fans were becoming bored with matches that included five-minute toeholds, and a simple clothesline as a high-spot of a match. So Vince McMahon starting getting more and more gimmicky. Every wrestler became more of a comic-book character.

I hope what happened to pro wrestling happens to Beck. Eventually, even McMahon admitted it was entertainment-only. This helped put the final nail in most of his competition, as only the deepest pockets could survive the loss of the "marks," i.e., the fans still stupid enough to believe it was on the up-and-up.

As the business evolved further, the stars even talked about the angles openly on the Net and elsewhere out of character (known as "shoot" interviews and dropping "kayfabe"). The only true drama that remained was the business politics behind-the-scenes. Ratings and house show attendances dropped to a point where all that was left were wrestling geeks (and I don't mean that as an insult) who still enjoyed the story lines and admired the performers for the showmen and women they are. And while gimmicks are still a part of the business, the characters came to resemble the most violent and bad-ass of the comic book characters.

Today, there are only two big pro wrestling players in the US market (one real big, the other trying to be a viable competitor), and all others are indies performing in front of 75 people in American Legion Hall basements for free. People are still making money, but not by pulling the wool over anyone's eyes.

This can't happen to Glenn Beck soon enough. I will support and even admire him the day he fesses up that it's all a work, and manages to still generate an audience and earn a living with his brand of entertainment.

Some day, he may still be making millions as an admitted actor/entertainer. Or perhaps he will be asleep at the wheel, protecting "kayfabe," while the business passes him by, a la Verne Gagne. But right now, he appears to be more like Vince McMahon in 1985, his outrageousness at its peak, and knowing what his "marks" will eat up as if his act were legit.

How much more outrageous he gets before finally admitting it's all an act, I don't know. But if he is going to be McMahon in this analogy, and not Gagne, he may have to come clean soon.

Cartoon Character Voices

I'm watching a modern Scooby Doo cartoon on Boomerang with my 3 1/2-year-old. I think Mindy Cohn is very good as the current voice of Velma. This episode is actually from 2004, but http://www.imdb.com/ shows her as still being the voice today. Not a bad gig for a former child TV star.

Casey Kasem is Shaggy in this episode, although imdb shows that the movie version of Shaggy, Matthew Lillard, is the cartoon voice of Shaggy starting in 2010. Kasem sounds good still in 2004, but over the last few years his voice really started to show its age. So even though I'm not too fond of Lillard as Shaggy (although oddly I found him very good in the movie, just not so much as a cartoon voiceover), I suppose it was time.

You know who is a supreme cartoon voice talent? Frank Welker, the long-time and still voice of Fred. He also does the voice of Scooby in more recent times. Check out his imdb profile; it's quite amazing his list of credits.

Back to Cohn for a minute, the show from which The Facts of Life spun off, Diff'rent Strokes, also brags an alum in today's cartoon industry. The voice of Mrs. Puff is the actress who played the Drummonds' maid after Mrs. Garrett moved on to Facts, Mary Joe Catlett. So now you know why her voice is so recognizable!

Catlett is in her 70s now, so not to wish any ill will on her, but if her voice goes "Kasem" on her, I've got the perfect replacement for her Mrs. Puff character already picked out: Linda Kozlowski. She's Mrs. Crocodile Dundee if you don't recall, and if you happen to get a chance to catch it on late night cable TV, watch her last piece of work on film, 2001's Crocodile Dundee in Los Angeles and tell me she wouldn't be perfect.

This is the kind of stuff I do when my kids rule the TV set. Or when I'm up late alone watching bad movie sequels and logged on to the Internet.

Wherefore Art Thou Watching Movie Trailers?

I was looking for a movie to take my younger sons to. I think I've settled on Gnomeo & Juliet. It didn't get the greatest reviews, but I'm sure they'll like it, and I enjoy watching my kids enjoy things.

While searching, I decided to click the trailer to The Roommate. Once I clicked it, a player popped up with a message saying the trailer would start after a commercial. I find it a little funny that I have to watch a commercial for the privilege of watching a commercial.

At 2:24, the trailer was just under three percent of the movie, if you don't count the credits. That's way too much. I feel like I've already seen the movie, so Screen Gems probably did itself a disservice by showing so much.

I don't remember what the commercial-for-the-commercial was for, either, so unless it was laced with extremely effective subliminal messaging, it was an all-around fail for them to get any of my money.

That's good, too, because popcorn at Gnomeo & Juliet will probably be about $10.

Bowler's Thumb Strikes

Bowling league should be interesting tomorrow. So far, I'm having my best season ever. I've had my second highest game ever, highest series ever, most 700s in a league season, I'm carrying my highest average ever, and have a chance to do something I've never done before: bowl back-to-back-to-back 700s. Yes, I know technological advances are a big part of that. But this post is about what could go wrong.

I've been wanting to bowl in some competitive tournaments, and to do that, I need to get conditioned for several games in a row, not just a three-game set. So yesterday I bowled six games of practice in Rosemount, and sure enough, at the end of game six, I noticed I had a blister, and it ripped. So part of my thumb is a bit raw right now, and it stings a little to the touch.

The last time I bowled with such a condition, I toughed it out (eat your heart out, Jay Cutler) for ten games in a tournament, and averaged exactly 160 for the event. I would be surprised if that wasn't dead last place. I keep that event in mind whenever I feel I need a little humility; it was positively my worst bowling tournament appearance ever.

What might save me from a similar experience tomorrow is a product called "perfect patch." The patchwork I attempted in the debacle above was old school "Liquid Skin," which was little more than glorified Krazy Glue and a small mesh patch. Perfect patch can be seen used by many touring pros, so here's hoping it will help.

If not, I will have another experience to fall back on whenever I feel the need to bring myself back down to earth.

PBA ToC on ABC

This weekend will be one of the biggest weekends in the history of American Ten-Pin Bowling. I specify tenpin, because there are of course other types, such as candlepin, which is a style popular out east, plus a couple variations of duckpin bowling. The PBA Tournament of Champions is taking place, and it will be the richest tournament in the PBA Tour's history. There's $1 million in the prize fund, with $250,ooo to the winner. Second place will pay $100,000. So it's big in that regard, but also in that it could foretell the future of the PBA Tour.

This year, there are fewer tournaments since the very first years of the Tour, and some of the tournaments feature first place checks that haven't been this low in years. Ratings are around a million per show, a far cry from when I watched it pretty regularly in the late '70s and early '80s. I could write several pages on what I think is the cause of the problem, and the cure (hint: accept the loss of popularity, no gimmicks, and respect the game in the broadcasts). Someday I will. (I think I've said that before.)

So this weekend, the PBA Tour will try to rejuvenate itself by putting most of its eggs in this basket. Some cool things include Nelson (Bo) Burton, Jr. being back on the telecast, which will be broadcast live on ABC for the first time since 1997. It will be in HD, which to me is the coolest thing of all, as you will be able to really see the fine points of the ball revolution and reaction to the lane conditions. That's something only a true bowling geek can get into perhaps, but I'm hoping Randy Pedersen's analysis will help the casual viewer appreciate some of the finer points to some degree.

It airs this Saturday at 1:30 P.M. CST, and despite my skepticism of how it will affect (or not) the future success of the Tour, it will most definitely make for compelling television. These guys (and gals) are struggling to make a living, but at least one person (even two, you could argue) might make some life-changing cash. As a purist, I feel I shouldn't be as excited as I am for the show. But as a fan, how can I help it?

A Bowling Video Even Non-Bowlers Can Enjoy

My dad once told a story to me of the first time he ever went bowling and how he made a strike...on the wrong lane. Somehow, the ball bounced over the gutters and struck on the adjacent lane, although I am not sure which one (to the left or right).

Over the years I gradually came to wonder about the story, until I pretty much forgot it altogether. Last year, an old friend with whom I used to bowl in our youth reminded me of it, and I again wondered, "Did he really do it? Did I remember the story correctly?"

I no longer have reason to doubt my father's story. At the Team USA Bowling Trials recently, the below video was captured. I've already spoiled it for you, but it's still worth a look.

The bowler rolls two conventional, although somewhat fortunate strikes first (one was a light hit, the other heavy), but notice from where he begins his approach. This was made necessary by the difficulty of the lane conditions at the time. As you can perhaps imagine, it can be an intimidating shot for those not used to playing it in their house leagues.

If you'd rather, just skip to the payoff at about the 0:52 mark. Enjoy! (And check out the fist pump after the shot is over!)