Visiting the Columbian Hotel, 17 years later

In late May this past spring, I took a golf trip to Western Minnesota with a golf buddy from work. He is originally from Benson, MN, so that was one of the towns we visited on our three-day trip, during which we played four golf courses.

Another town we visited was Ortonville, MN, located on the south part of the "hump" of Minnesota's western border, next to South Dakota. My first radio gig was in Ortonville (1350 KDIO), back in 1992. Shortly after accepting that job, I started dating a girl from the Cities who would soon move out to Ortonville with me, and a year later become my first wife. (Yep, way too fast...)

We first lived in the Columbian Hotel, an historic building which was then owned by my boss at the radio station. We would later buy a nice old house, which I will write about in a day or two. The Columbian was a charming building, but obviously needed a lot of work. I've tried to keep somewhat abreast of Ortonville happenings since moving a year later in 1993 to Marshalltown, IA. All I know about the Columbian is that after some troubles keeping it going and keeping it from ruins, new ownership has a plan to refurbish it and open it for business again some day.

Photos of the building are below. I'm not sure whether the plan is to keep it as a hotel, but I am pleased to know it will not be deserted forever, or worse, demolished any time soon.

The Columbian from the front. A real beauty!

Renovations to the main area, as seen through the front window.

(I hope the owners don't mind I did that!) For the first few weeks

on the job, I lived in the room behind the door you see in the center.

After that, my boss created a two bedroom apartment in the back

of the hotel.

The rear of the Columbian. It had a walk-out basement, so the platform

where you see the boards standing is actually level with the first floor.

The door to the left of the boards enters the apartment in which I lived

before getting a house.

A Toy Story 3 story

My 16-year-old had not yet seen Toy Story 3, so even though my wife, the 3-year-old, the 4-year-old, and I had seen it, we were game for taking the "big brother" to it this past weekend. It was the first time I had seen the same movie in a theatre more than once since "Miracle."

We saw the matinee at an AMC theatre, which meant $7.50 for each of us big folks, and $5.00 each for the little ones, if I recall correctly. Expensive, sure, but far better than full adult prices for evening showings. But then came time for the large pop and popcorn to share, plus small treats because we stupidly didn't stop at Rainbow to get treats to smuggle in. The large pop and popcorn were about $5.50 each. People don't often realize it, but refreshments are so expensive because the theatres make pretty much zilch on the movie tickets.

Just before placing my order, a mysterious gentlemen tapped me on the shoulder and said, "Here, take these if you can use them." They were two self-printed coupons for soda and popcorn. I thanked him politely, if lacklusterly, and checked out the coupons.

At first glance, I thought they said $1.00 off. Then I saw they said $1.00 each, but thought I wasn't going to use them, because I wanted large. Finally, I realized they were indeed for large sizes, and valid on that day only.

Like a scene from a movie, when I turned to thank the stranger a second, more emphatic time, he had vanished. This stranger saved my family $9.00 in a moment of thoughtfulness, when he could have just tossed them away.

I enjoyed Toy Story 3 very much the first time. I enjoyed it much more the second.

Mom and Dad's 50th Anniversary

My mom and dad celebrated their 50th wedding anniversary last weekend. I'm not sure how it all started, but any decently sized event our family holds and invites guests to includes a "program" where my sisters and I, and sometimes others, put together a few stories and sing some songs.

Typically, my older sister and I will bring our guitars for accompaniment, but because we knew we'd have minimal time to rehearse, we used a karaoke machine for back-up. It was cheesy, but easy.

I sang "Playground in My Mind," a one-hit wonder from the '70s sung by Clint Holmes, and my kids sang along to the choruses, except my oldest, who at 16 is too cool for that kind of thing. If you don't know the song, you're either too young, or you simply know the song as the "My name is Michael, I've got a nickel" song.

I sang that one because we told stories about growing up, and this was the perfect song to bring in a new generation of singers at these gatherings. My grandmother loved the song, largely because of the "We're gonna let them visit their grandma" line, and I thought it would be nice for my mom to hear her grandchildren sing it.

I also backed up my sister on "Raindrops Keep Falling on My Head," and I sang the Statler Brothers' "The Class of '57," because my mom graduated high school in 1957.

If you're unfamiliar with the Statler Brothers song, the cool thing about it is that despite sounding at first take like a typical '70s country-pop tune, the lyrics are deeper than they may come across at face value. It basically tells one-line stories of various schoolmates, some more successful in their post-high school endeavors than others, with a few words of wisdom in the choruses. Even though it was presumably about people who have been out of high school for about 15 years (based on the copyright date of the song), it is pretty timeless.

I'm sure a lot of people scoff at anything the Statler Brothers did. And while I'm not generally a fan of country music, I don't automatically dismiss every song from the genre. Besides, they really were more eclectic than that.

My favorite line from the song, which wraps it up near the end: "Things get complicated when you get past eighteen." I hope as a father I can prepare my kids well enough to fully understand and appreciate how true that is. Especially my "cool" 16 year-old.

Happy 50th, Mom and Dad. I don't know which event we'll sing at next - perhaps I can get my kids to sing at my 50th birthday party less than six years from now.

A Bowling List

With golf season in full swing, and my not having touched my bowling balls in two months, I thought it might be fun to post a list I've been thinking about over the years.

Top All-Time Professional Bowlers' Names

5. Bob Handley (Non-bowlers may not appreciate it, but "more hand" is bowling slang for what you need to throw a bigger hook.)
4. John Handegard (A perfect product-endorsing name for bowling, like if a golfer were named "Woods." Imagine that...)
3. Larry Laub (What happens when your thumb sticks.)
2. Gary Skidmore (And thus, hook less.)
1. Charlie Tapp (Minnesota's own, whose name is the golf equivalent of Charlie Shankk, Whiff, or Yipp. Only Charlie Gutterball would be better.)

Honorable Mention: Guppy Troup (In golf, Arnie had his Army. This guy's fan club could have just used his full name.)

I thought there also was once a bowler named Loft, but can't seem to find proof of it, as Googling "professional bowler Loft" gives you the metaphorical haystack in which to find the needle.

And just for fun, a little off-topic, the best name for a bad NFL punter: Bucky Scribner. That name sounds like what you would call a bad punt.