A Bowling List

With golf season in full swing, and my not having touched my bowling balls in two months, I thought it might be fun to post a list I've been thinking about over the years.

Top All-Time Professional Bowlers' Names

5. Bob Handley (Non-bowlers may not appreciate it, but "more hand" is bowling slang for what you need to throw a bigger hook.)
4. John Handegard (A perfect product-endorsing name for bowling, like if a golfer were named "Woods." Imagine that...)
3. Larry Laub (What happens when your thumb sticks.)
2. Gary Skidmore (And thus, hook less.)
1. Charlie Tapp (Minnesota's own, whose name is the golf equivalent of Charlie Shankk, Whiff, or Yipp. Only Charlie Gutterball would be better.)

Honorable Mention: Guppy Troup (In golf, Arnie had his Army. This guy's fan club could have just used his full name.)

I thought there also was once a bowler named Loft, but can't seem to find proof of it, as Googling "professional bowler Loft" gives you the metaphorical haystack in which to find the needle.

And just for fun, a little off-topic, the best name for a bad NFL punter: Bucky Scribner. That name sounds like what you would call a bad punt.