Debate Dad in a Small World

When my oldest child played hockey, I wasn't a very good hockey dad.  I expected more effort out of him than I should have from a 5-6 year-old kid. When he switched to basketball, it was more of the same, only a bit worse, because I knew he could hear me from the stands, so I yelled more.

I was embarrassing to myself.

Tonight was a different experience.  My second-oldest child, my sophomore daughter, is in a debate tournament this weekend.  I love a good debate. I even love finding out I'm wrong, or being convinced so.  

But I'm not so sure about competitive debates, because unlike real life debates, the win-or-lose mentality seems to harm the experience. But I can't say I know that for sure, as this was my first in high school competition to witness.

I was a good debate parent tonight, but it's not that I didn't want to chime in.  It was because I was one of only two adults at this particular event. The other was the judge.  So, yeah, I was going to be on my best behavior.

A high school debate features two partners from one school (a first speaker, and a second), against two from another. (Although sometimes one student will go against two; this is called going "Maverick" as I learned tonight.) It actually went fairly close to how I expected, with few surprises. 

One of those surprises, however, was quite a surprise, and had nothing to do with the debate itself: it was my daughter's opponent. Why?  Glad you asked. 

Some 21 years ago, I had my heart ripped out of my chest by the woman whom I was certain fate had decided was the right one for me.  We spoke only once after that, a few months later, when I had barely built up the nerve just to call and say "hi" and see if I could get some closure for myself.  

I didn't.  The breakup was hard to get over, and even though I started dating again soon thereafter, and even married my first wife within two years of it, for the longest time, and I mean years, the one thing that still bugged me was just not getting that closure. I didn't even know for sure that lack of closure was the problem, what closure actually was, and how I would know it if I got it anyway. But not having it bugged me for a long time.

Eventually, yeah, time closes things for you. Out of curiosity, and thanks to the Internet and social networks, I learned two things about her over the years: her married name, and the city in which she lives. Nothing creepy ("sure it isn't," you're thinking), and in fact, I would hope that all is well for her.

So back to my daughter's opponent (and you can probably see this coming). My daughter and her partner had the "pro" position on the topic. She was in the first-speaker position, but the other school was to go first.

The other school's first speaker introduced his name.  It rang a bell. Then it took me another three seconds or so to realize that it was the same last name as "her," and his school is where "she" lives, and....HOLY COW does he resemble "her"!!

So yeah, I just saw my daughter go head-to-head in a debate against the son of someone I once thought I had a certain future with. At first it was a bit surreal, but then it became quite normal and rather nice to see this young man in action.  I was quite happy for her, knowing that as a parent, she must be as happy with him as I with my daughter.

I'll find out tomorrow who won, and I can't say that I really care. I found it interesting that this debate was just a touch nastier than the debates she and I used to get into.  That is to say, it really wasn't nasty at all.