Hanging up the Cleats

Last night was one of those few moments in life where you realize you are going to make a decision that will change your life.

I'm not talking about proposing to your future wife, going to law school, or anything that "life-changing." But for me, it was not insignificant. (Note the double negative; proof of my law school experience.)

In a double-header of Eagan middle division corporate softball, I realized I had lost the desire to play any more organized softball. At age 42, after having won state and national championships, and playing more than 150 games and hitting more than 100 home runs in a year (2001), I realized it was time.

I actually had realized it was time a few years ago, but more out of realizing other priorities in my life needed me. So I "subbed" a few times each of the last three years, but this year I agreed to play most of an 18-game season. During the night, and especially at the end of the night, while reflecting back on my team's two wins, I realized my heart wasn't in it...especially, oddly, at the plate.

Maybe someday the fire will rekindle and I'll be talked into playing on a competitive 50+ team. But I doubt it. I'll play hard and try to help the team win the rest of the year.

I've played in some organized men's slow pitch league every year since 1983 except for 1986 (thanks to a misunderstanding about my company's teams that I won't go into here). So perhaps I will suit up ceremoniously for one game each year for a while, just to say I did.

But that will be it. It's been a long run, and I wish I could say it was more fun than it was. More than anything, I enjoy getting better at something I already enjoy, so in that regard, it was very rewarding.

What will I miss most? Playing outfield, which I got to go back to doing this year after dropping some 30 pounds. More than anything, that's what I enjoyed about slow pitch softball, and even more than the home runs and championships, it's what I will miss most. I'm glad I got to do it again for one more year, even if my heart hasn't been in the rest of the game.