I Always Give Them My Money

On Black Friday, for an early Christmas present, my wife bought three Beatles CDs for me: Past Masters I & II, Abbey Road, and the "White Album." I'm a huge Beatles fan, plus post-Beatles Paul McCartney (you know the old joke: "Paul McCartney was in a band before Wings?").

When some friends and I trekked to Ames, Iowa in 1990 for a McCartney show, one of them wondered aloud how much Macca must make on royalties. "Todd just mails him a $50 check every week," joked one of the guys. He was exaggerating only a little.

In the '70s, my sister turned me on to the Beatles. Then in 1980, a high school friend in band class came from typing every day, where he would type some John Lennon lyrics for me to read ("poems," as my friend called them). The morning of December 9, 1980, however, he had nothing.

"Who could type a poem on a day like today?," he solemnly asked. Indeed.

By then I was hooked. My friend had taped some of his Beatles albums for me, but I had to buy my own. Later that sophomore year, I recall my dad once saying, after seeing I had purchased the Sgt. Pepper and Magical Mystery Tour cassettes, "They're still making money!" That was only a little over ten years after they had broken up. He may have popped a vein had he known how much more they would continue to make.

So let's get back to my weekly check to McCartney, no pun intended. ("Get Back" if you missed it, but now that I've pointed it out, you're less likely to believe it was unintended. Oh well...) That Sgt. Pepper cassette did fine for me for a few years, but every self-respecting Beatles fan has to own the LP, even today, so eventually I bought that, too.

In 1984, picture discs were appearing here and there, and although they never quite caught on, I had to buy the Sgt. Pepper version. Then in the late '80s, when the Beatles finally worked out an agreement to release their albums on CD, I of course had to buy it again in that format.

That brings us to the present, and the re-released and re-mastered collection of the Fab Four's albums, which are claimed to be superior to the '80s releases. Even though I likely will not be able to notice one iota of difference, no doubt I will soon own my fifth Sgt. Pepper album.

(Yes, you can still call them "albums." The word "album" does not necessarily mean the long-playing record format. Those are called "LPs." It is a huge pet peeve of mine when people think they have to correct even themselves when they say "album" when referring to a "CD.")

There are many albums I've purchased more than once, with most of them being to upgrade from tape or LP to CD format. Michael Jackson's Thriller comes in second with three. But Sgt. Pepper's Lonely Hearts Club Band leads with four, soon to be five.

And Paul, Ringo Starr, Olivia Harrison, and Yoko Ono will still be making money.

LPGA Popularity

I watched the re-run last night of Michelle Wie winning her first ever LPGA tournament, narrowly defeating, among others Paula Creamer.

The LPGA tour had 34 tournaments in 2008, 27 in 2009, and is scheduled for 23 in 2010. I don't get it. Why the LPGA tour is not more popular now than ever before is a bit puzzling to me.

Yes, I know the economy is in the dumper still. Yes, I know with the increase of non-American born players, it is possible American fans have felt a bit disconnected.

But come on. Natalie Gulbis. Michelle Wie. Paula Creamer. And those are just the famous ones. Sex sells, so they say, and the LPGA tour has never been sexier.

It may be controversial, but the new LPGA commissioner needs to use the tour's sex appeal.

As Michelle McGann once said long ago, when the aforementioned ladies were in diapers (if that yet), "I don't know why people wouldn't want to come out and see our pretty faces."

My personal golf crush? Suzann Pettersen. But that can change day-to-day.

Bobcat at Acme Comedy Company

I saw Bobcat Goldthwait at Acme Comedy Company over the weekend with my wife, two sisters, and nephew. I wasn't disappointed, although he did use more of his older material than I expected from a guy who is going out on the road for the first time in a while.

By "older material," I am not referring to his Police Academy days. More around the time he started cutting his hair and had lost a lot of weight.

Looking back on his Police Academy days, I always thought Bobcat looked like an overweight Andre Agassi. Now that he has gained back the weight he lost (and then some), chopped his ever-receding hair, he once again looks like an overweight Andre Agassi. He even sounds a bit like Andre since he has dropped the screaming lunatic bit from his act. ("After about twenty minutes of that, it gets really f***ing annoying," said Bobcat, to which the audience roared.)

His best joke of the night was (supposedly) a true story, and was very politically incorrect. Well, the story was P.I., but if you found it funny, you were too. Remember Johnny Carson's classic Carnac "sis-boom-bah" joke, and subsequent audience reaction? It was reminiscent of that.

Not everyone got the punchline immediately, but everyone eventually came around, and the more one thought of it and visualized what he described, the louder one laughed. So it was just a long drawn-out laughter from the full-house crowd. It was probably the longest I recall in my years of seeing stand-up, rivaled perhaps by Emo Philips' non-alcohol beer joke, and Steven Wright's shoreline fishing joke.

Let me know if you want to know the jokes I'm referring to. I'm refraining because I don't have enough time to post it all tonight (the Goldthwait joke was a long story), I don't want to disappoint if you don't find them funny, and I don't want anyone to know how much I enjoyed a politically incorrect joke.

I'll just tell you the Goldthwait punchline:

"Firetruck?!"

Minnesota Golf in November

My last round of golf was September 23. The way things were going, I was certain that would be my last round of the year, making it the earliest last round of the year in, well, several years.

But I have a 9:10 tee time tomorrow at Stonebrooke in Shakopee. I should be raking leaves in the back yard, but oh well. I'm not sure if the ferry across the bay on hole 8 at Stonebrooke runs this late in the year, but regardless, I'll be glad to be playing.

I know I'll stink it up, but because I don't have to post the round for handicapping purposes, as it is after October 15 here in Minnesota, and the weather is expected to be unseasonably great, who cares? Not I, although I'll surely grumble at more than a few shots.

The only month during which I have not played golf in Minnesota is February, although I did turn down an opportunity once. Several Decembers ago, it got to 60 degrees on December 3, and I not only played but actually played part of the round in a short-sleeved polo. Then, a few Januarys later, during a winter in which there had been little snow, an unseasonably warm spell in January caused one local course to open on a 55-degree day.

If you're even half-knowledgeable about golf courses in the Twin Cities, you no doubt guessed correctly that the course that January day was Parkview.