Those little marks that use their influence

(The title of this post was taken from the punctuation song from the Electric Company in the 1970s.)

I think it was in seventh grade when I read "Flowers for Algernon." It's a story about Charlie who gets smart because of new, experimental drug treatment, but then reverts to his below-average intelligence and eventually dies. A real heartwarmer.

Sorry, perhaps I should have put "spoiler alert" first.

Anyway, one of my favorite parts of the book was when Charlie wrote in his journal, "Punctuation; is fun!?!" Or something like that. While he was getting smarter, he was learning about punctuation, but had not yet learned how to use it correctly.

We all have our grammatical and spelling pet peeves. Misuses of "they're, their," and "there," for example. One of mine is how the period and the question mark seem to be interchangeable in e-mails, particularly at work.

I get that it's just e-mail. I support people keying their message quickly for efficiency's sake, which might mean a little carelessness. It isn't a college theme paper, after all. I hope people afford me the same leniency in judging some of my blog posts.

I guess I've just seen it so often, and many times from the same offenders, that it just gets under my skin.

Do you know what I'm talking about. I don't know why they do it?

If reading the above two sentences bothered you, congratulations. If you didn't notice anything, you might be one of the "repeat offenders" of which I complain.

How Do They Keep Their Jobs?

This is beneath me, but I just need to memorialize the ineptitude of another major league baseball umpire tonight. Mike Winters, who might have been qualified to fill-in as a last minute replacement for a little league no-show tonight, was absolutely brutal. If you can find Justin Morneau's fourth inning at bat somewhere on the net, check it out.

It's not the only example, but it's pretty comical to see in a matter of seconds, with strike two on an outside pitch, and strike three on the inside, an umpire's hallucination of a 26-inch-wide plate.

Winters was so bad, I'll even forgive Brian Runge for his erroneous showing-up of Nick Punto on the pick-off call at first.

Bowling: Youth Wasted on this Youngster

On February 8, 1988, I bowled my first and only 300 game. Five days later, I bowled a 290. My name was mentioned in the late Bob Schabert's bowling column in the St. Paul Pioneer Press two weeks in a row for these feats. In the span of about two weeks, I had bowled four 700+ series. This was back when this type of scoring actually still meant something, and all before my 22nd birthday.

No, I'm not bragging. I wish I were, because then I could say how much I have accomplished since then. In a sport (or game if you prefer) that saw scoring inflation in the '90s akin to what Major League Baseball saw in home runs, and unlike baseball has not reeled it back (although I doubt steroid testing is anywhere on bowling's horizon), the question to ask a good bowler is not whether they have bowled a 300, but how many have they bowled.

I'm still awaiting my second.

I'm at peace with it, because only last year did I decide to really take advantage of the equipment revolution that began in 1992 with the first commercial reactive resin cover stock balls. I was only a casual bowler between '92 and '08.

The reason I was only casually involved was because I burned myself out. I had some talent, desire, and a world of potential. But what I failed to do to make it to the next level(s) was in the mental part of the game: both in learning the technical parts, and dealing with the emotional intelligence part.

With that, I present my season stats from the 1987-88 Evangelical Lutheran bowling league at the now-defunct Minnehaha Lanes. (I'm not Lutheran, in case you are wondering.) This was not the same league in which I bowled my 300 game, which is good, because in that league, I also bowled a 102, and I'd rather you not see it (although I did just tell you). Yes, my high and low games for the year were 198 pins apart! That's gotta be some kind of record.

You will see the same type of inconsistency, however, in the stats from this league, which show that while I had nights where I could put it together, I couldn't quite hang with the big boys. I tried to compete in the local CBA and other scratch tournaments the following year, but failed miserably, and was too emotionally unintelligent to handle it. I quit for a couple years, made a return to league bowling again in the early '90s, and was pretty much done after that. You could say I peaked at 21, and was washed up at 22.

One thing is for sure with regard to my recent attempt at a "comeback": I'm going to have fun doing it, results be damned. One way I will make sure of it is to coach my four-year-old son as he joins his first bowling league next year.

Bowling with my kids always puts me in the right frame of mind...except when the two-year-old runs in front of the people two lanes over.

2009-10 Bowling Season

This bowling season was my most successful yet, although I only bowled part time (42 games out of 96). Of course, technology had a lot to do with it. But I do think I am pretty close to where I'd like to be. Spare shooting is still an area for improvement, as is just general education on lane conditions, oil pattern reading (especially when it breaks down).

Here is how the season went:



At the risk of self-inflicted back-patting injury, the highlights of the year were personal bests in average and three-game series, a nice rebound from a weak start, a decent won-lost record, a profitable season in third-game "pots," and a first trimester win for the team.

Lows included poor spare shooting, and an inability to finish off what should have been 700s in three of the weeks. For fun, let's compare this season to 2008-09:

My plans/goals for 2010-11:

1) Pick up a new ball that reacts differently from what I have, so that I have a more well-rounded arsenal

2) Bowl tournaments and cash in at least one CBA event

3) Compete in the USBC Nationals in Reno and average 190 (no small feat, even for a 218 bowler)

4) Work on spare shooting to average 225 in league

5) Bring bowling closer to a hobby that pays for itself

I had similar goals back in the late 1980s. I'll post some info on how that went next time.

Here's a sneak preview: Not well.

Topics (Mostly) Off Limits

There are two topics I generally avoid on this blog and on Facebook. They are religion and politics. You know the old adage, and I follow it fairly closely in cyberspace, be it in my original posts and musings, or in response to others'.

I don't really have one main reason; rather, it's a combination of many. I'm going to list several contributing factors, but please understand that none of these account for more than 33% of my reasoning, and some may contribute less than 1%:

1- I might lose friends, who of course aren't real friends if they can't accept me for blah blah blah...
2- A decision-maker holding my career fate may find it, and worse, may not like it.
3- Simply put, I'm non-confrontational.
4- Some people are so clueless, that it's not worth the bother to do it even for the sake of interesting conversation (I almost said "stimulating intercourse," but that could have been taken wrongly).
5- The cyber world is so public and permanent. That just makes me a little uncomfortable. Oh sure, writing about my passion for watching televised bowling, including 30-year-old archived footage of the PBA tour on YouTube, does not. Go figure.
6- I have a few "closeted" beliefs that might shock people close to me, and their hearts might be weak.
7- Things in writing are far more likely to be taken out of context later, and become far from the true spirit of what I've said. It's better to talk such things through, so you can clear up any possible misconceptions right then and there.
8- My friends have diverse ideas, and I try to respect them all.
9- It invites trolls.
10- It invites non-trolls, but ones who think they are making a sound argument, yet have little idea as to where critical thinking and logic begin.

There's probably more, but they start to overlap. (See nos. 10 and 4 above, for example.)

I will offer this glimpse into my political leanings: As a social liberal and fiscal conservative, I'm no "Capital L" Libertarian either. I tend to be more socially liberal than fiscally conservative. I don't mind paying a little too much tax to help welfare recipients, even if some are "working" the system, because I know that some truly need the safety net. (I don't buy the argument that charity would be enough.)

Put another way, I get less upset about a welfare mom having another kid than I do a philandering politician trying to keep gays from marrying because of some "sanctity of marriage" nonsense.

But don't think that it's not a close contest between the two in vying for my contempt.

Cell Phones

I got a Blackberry through work several months ago, but still use my old cell phone. My two-year plan with Sprint is not up for another few months yet, and we all know how impossible breaking those contracts are. I use the Blackberry to occasionally check work e-mails, but that's about it.

I'm not big on having the latest and greatest in technology, with some exceptions when it is truly beneficial to my hobbies and such. For example, I got a SkyCaddie when they were still this mystery device seen in SkyMall magazines. But I haven't upgraded to one of the "new and improved," in color, and even satellite photo-using models. I've almost lost it on the golf course a few times, but I'm still hanging on to my old SG-2 model as long as it continues to suffice.

I also bought a bat speed meter back around 1990. It was expensive, but extremely useful. After all, how do you know if you're getting better if you can't measure it? It would be like lifting weights without ever keeping track of how heavy they are. I never had to replace that, either. It looks (and feels) like a dinosaur, but functions just fine, even though I'm retired from softball(again). I plan on training my sons with it as soon as I get it back from a friend who borrowed it for his son. I can wait; they're still pre-K.

So even when I get the latest in technology, I'm not looking to replace it just because it comes out in a new model. When my wife and I got our Samsung Instinct phones with our Sprint plan, I was less than enthused. She thought they were awesome - Samsung's version of the iPhone! I found myself wishing I had an old plain cell phone, and a smaller monthly bill to go with it.

But I will give it this: it's durable as heck. I left it on top of my car a couple weeks ago, and you can tell it got run over at least once. A nice Eagan police officer found it. It still works, although when using the touch screen, you have to press the item below the one you want. I've accidentally called (and hung up on) some folks on my speed dial, and it's not even worth trying to text or access the Net with it, but it's impressive nonetheless, and I'll stick with it until our plan expires. Then I'll probably downgrade our plan to one phone, and make the Blackberry my only mobile device.

I might even get it upgraded by my employer from time to time, but I'd be fine if not.

Bowling On TV and Movies

(Note: I originally wrote this entry in December, 2009, and forgot to publish it. Only today did I discover my error. I have added a couple bits about Chris Barnes and Brad Angelo, and Big Bang Theory to make it more timely.)

I just finished watching a lame Saturday Night Live sketch about bowling. As a long-time bowling geek, I appreciate the subject matter. But they've just committed one of my all-time pet peeves of bowling-themed shows, movies, etc., especially when it is supposed to be professional bowling, as in this skit.

It's not the lack of believability in the characters' skills. I get that they are actors and can only do their best. But when they show someone roll the ball, then switch the shot to the pins getting knocked down, and you see a "Brooklyn" strike, followed by the player's reaction of expecting it, it pisses me off.

Brooklyn strikes occasionally happen even among the pros, but whenever they do, the pro always reacts with body language as if to say, "Whew....sure got lucky on that one!" Or perhaps in a satirical cocky manner, clearly not meant to be taken seriously (e.g., Brad Angelo against Chris Barnes in the 2010 Lumber Liquidators Marathon Open, although perhaps Barnes did take it a little too seriously). Next time you watch the movie Kingpin, look for Bill Murray's character to do just what I'm complaining about. You should also see one in the recent Big Bang Theory episode in which bowling was a central theme (also Wil Weaton's second cameo, if that helps you Google or YouTube it).

They even have "bowling consultants" for these programs, which makes it all the more inexcusable. OK, maybe SNL didn't, but I know that a recent CSI episode that featured pro bowlers did. That episode had lame bowling as well, but what really torqued me off about it was the ending: A championship match finishing with one guy (the killer in the story, actually) needing to convert a 7-10 split to win, which he did, acting cocky like he "had it all along."

For you non-bowlers, that's as bad as a movie or show featuring a poker showdown that ends with one guy beating four aces with a royal flush, and then acting like he knew he'd win because he's such a better poker player.

Yeah, sure, happens all the time.