Falling Behind While on Vacation

I am keying this entry poolside in Myrtle Beach (actually, Surfside Beach), South Carolina. Despite being on vacation, I had expected to get more posting done, but it was all I could do to keep up on e-mail deleting an hour each day, which is what I set my online daily limit at.

So while I'm thinking of it, but without the time to do it, here are some subjects I want to write about upon returning home:

1) How awful my golf game was
2) How fun the golf was
3) Why I won't post handicap scores from my vacation to GHIN
4) A trick I learned in my youth and shared with my son
5) Turning 43
6) North Myrtle Beach fires
7) Un-retiring from softball again
8) "The Wrestler"

Thank you and good night. My time is up.

Grand Strand Bound

My wife and I depart tomorrow from MSP to Myrtle Beach, the Grand Strand, the Redneck Riviera. I love the place, even though, as I've said here before, Minnesota is as good as any place for golf. But with the ocean, the sheer volume of quality courses, and change of scenery, I like to head down there every couple of years or so.

This year, the scenery flying in will be interesting, what with the wildfires in the North Myrtle Beach area. They've been widely, but somewhat innacurately, reported on. It's been a terrible tragedy for sure for many families, but by some accounts you'd think the whole Strand was burning down.

I'll report from our condo room as time permits. My wife is letting me bring my laptop, and I can check work e-mails for 1/2 hour per night, but that's it. Blogging availability is still being negotiated.

One regret is I will miss this year's softball opener next Thursday. Yes, I've un-retired again.

Sliding Into First Again (No, I'm Not Letting It Rest)

During the encore presentation of the Jason Kubel show tonight (Twins win again over the Angels), I saw Carlos Gomez make it safely to first because of a high throw. The play reminded me of another argument in favor of sliding head-first into first base (by speedsters who know how to do it...not the Kubels or Morneaus of the world).

I didn't present this in my previous post on the subject, but a work colleague and I have discussed it and agree the argument that safety is a primary reason not to slide into first is weak, if not entirely misguided. We think first base is in fact the safest of the three to slide head-first into. Our reasoning:

1) Second and Third are too easy to over-slide. No issues at first.
2) Home plate is most likely going to be blocked by hard plastic armor.

But what's more, and this is the clincher for me, I've personally witnessed badly-sprained ankles by people who hit the bag wrong. Of course, like I say about sliding, one has to "know how to do it," but unlike sliding head-first, you don't always have the luxury of using what you "know" when hitting the bag, because you never know how long that last stride is going to be until, well, that last stride. My son came close to spraining his ankle for this very reason in his last game. Tonight, we saw Gomez hobble a bit after landing on the bag a little awkwardly.

(Fortunately, he was well enough to then steal second, only to get called out, ironically, because his head-first slide into second caused him to over-slide the bag, thus requiring to reach back and touch the bag. He did, successfully, but the umpire inexpilicably called him out. What in Hades the umpire was watching in calling Go-Go out at second, I have no idea. More evidence that major league umpires are overpaid.)

I've yet to see anyone writher in pain after a headfirst slide into first the way a teammate of mine did at State some six years ago after hitting the bag wrong. That said, I suppose I wouldn't want my hand on the bag when someone like Prince Fielder is coming back down to earth after snaring a high throw.

Nothing's perfect I guess...

Confused

I heard this term used tonight: "The lower 48." This is supposedly in reference to the "Continental United States," meaning every one but Alaska and Hawaii.

Except Hawaii is the lowest of all states, if by "low" one means "southern." Minnesota is the second "highest" state then.

How did that term ever come to be?

Easter Fun

I enjoy Jim Gaffigan's take on Easter (Youtube it if you're unfamiliar. Or maybe on Comedycentral.com). I think he could have expanded it, however. My own experience is that for the brief 3 minutes of excitement the toddlers enjoy, the rest is horrendous.

It's like Halloween without the fun. Just a pile of candy all at once. Then they don't want to eat Easter dinner - just the candy. And then they get everything sticky and chocolatey and everything-elsey. All to celebrate the one who died for our sins coming out of the ground, although he never really died, as he was his own all-powerful dad all along; and trust me, he will return again any day now.

I'm not making fun of the religion, so please don't scream blasphemy. I just think the religion is confusing enough for kids to learn and accept; you don't need to add giant, scary rabbits hiding painted eggs and marshmallow chicks to the mix until they can handle the scary religion part first. And keep their grubby hands off the furniture.

Return Trip to MOA: Lost Something Again

My wife and I took the kids to Nickelodeon Universe at the Mall of America again over the weekend. This time it was the four oldest kids, with the youngest (almost two years old) staying at home with Grandma. As you may have read, the last time we went to the Mall, we lost our three-year-old.

This time no one was lost, including my nine-year-old's friend who came along, as well as my fourteen-year-old's friend. Had any of their parents read my blog, I'm sure they wouldn't have permitted the kids to come along, at least not under my supervision.

I did, however, lose something of value again this time, although of significantly less value than a three-year-old son. I received a call from the Mall lost-and-found yesterday saying they found a check with my name on it. I verified who I was, and they said they would mail the check back to me. It was from Aetna, a repayment, via our Flexible Spending Account through work, of a deductible from a recent doctor visit, in the amount of $40.

A kid is worth at least five, maybe ten times that, don't you think? But I'm still glad to get it back.

So to all of this garbage I hear about how horrible the Mall of America is, I say phooey. My last two times there I've lost a child and money, and both have been (or will have been) returned to me unharmed and unspent.

They're even covering the cost of the stamp.

Bowling and Golf Geek Stuff

It's U.S. Open week on the Professional Bowlers Tour. As much as I enjoy and prefer golf as a pasttime, bowling has a special place in my heart, and if I'm honest, is really my better game.

Some 20 years ago I made a statement to a friend, and fellow bowler and golfer, that I was better at golf than bowling. He didn't buy it, saying he saw me do both, and wasn't impressed by the golfer in me.

He was right; it was more wishful thinking on my part. When I graduated high school, I barely lettered in golf, but I was the school's top bowler. Furthermore, I didn't really narrow the gap between the two avocations until recent years.

One way to compare the two today could be to see if I have what it takes to play in each game's top open tournament. If I wanted to play in the U.S. Open golf tournament, I would need a USGA handicap index of no higher than 1.4, and that would merely be to qualify to play in the first of two qualifying stages. My current index is 4.3, and has never been better than 3.8

To compete in the US Open in bowling, I need to have averaged 190 in league play in any one of the past five seasons, for a minimum of 21 games. After taking several years off from league bowling, I joined part-time this year, and am averaging 207.9 for 30 games.

That would seem to indicate that I didn't narrow the gap at all, and that the gap perhaps has even grown wider.

It doesn't tell the whole story, however. For one thing, supply and demand makes the standards of qualifying much lower for bowling. There are only 412 bowlers competing in the US Open this week, while thousands enter the USGA Open every year.

Secondly, and I'll build this point with an example, my best ever round of golf in relation to par, a 70 on the par 71 Carroll (Iowa) Municipal Golf Course several years ago, was actually almost four strokes "worse" than the 74 I shot from the tips at Emerald Greens' Platinum and Silver nines last year. This is because the United States Golf Association "rates" and "slopes" courses to account for degree of difficulty, and the USGA Handicap Index is calculated with those factors built in to the formula.

Bowling has no such rating of bowling centers. Thus, the 180 average I maintained at the Alley Cat lanes in Ortonville, MN several years ago, goes simply as a 180 average. Compare this to my 195 average at Minnehaha Lanes the year before, and one would think I suddenly got worse. In actuality, the two averages were comparable, because of how much more difficult the Alley Cat was to score at. But there is no "rating" or "slope" for bowling, and in lieu of this, the PBA/BPAA keeps a lower requirement for the bowlers who have little choice but to bowl at a difficult house in rural areas (plus, I should mention, those who choose to bowl on intentionally more difficult "sport" conditions available in some leagues).

One thing the two sports' national opens do have in common: Anyone who barely meets the minimum qualifications to fork over the entry fee and take a chance has virtually zero chance of even coming close to make the next stage in golf or make the cut-line in bowling.

Still, one of my lifetime ambitions is to enter both tournaments, just for the experience. If that's going to happen, I'll need to sharpen up the golf game before Old Man Time catches up with me.