Super Boss and Speed Balls

As a huge Bruce Springsteen fan, I thoroughly enjoyed his Super Bowl performance last night. I got a kick out of his version of a "wardrobe malfunction" controversy; his crotch-to-the-camera slide. If he gets into trouble for it, a la Janet and Justin, maybe he can blame it on a "Depth Perception Miscalculation."

I also ordered my tickets for his May 11 show at Xcel Energy Center today. It will be my wife's first Bruce concert. For some, their first Bruce concert is almost like a religious awakening. I'm not getting my hopes up on that, but hopefully she'll at least reach a new level of respect for him.

My father-in-law was glad to see him perform Glory Days last night, his personal favorite. My dad, who on the other hand doesn't know Bruce's stuff too well, called me from Florida after the show and asked if the song was kind of his signature standard.

"Not really," I answered, "but lyrically, it was a logical choice to follow up his new song with and close the set, because he's 59 and trying to stay relevant, unlike a lot of older rockers who bank only on nostalgia." I wasn't quite that poignant, but that's the gist of it.

Funny thing about that song is that I've heard at least four times over the years from friends (and one comedy writer) comments to the effect of, "What the heck is a speed ball, anyway?" (The comedy writer, and one friend even, offered this answer: One thrown by Steve Howe. It was a topical joke once upon a time.)

(If you'll pardon another parenthetical, for any who do not know what "speed ball" refers to, the opening lines to the song go like this:
I had a friend, was a big baseball player, back in high school
He could throw that speed ball by you, make you look like a fool, boy)

Now, I've thought about this long and hard over the years, because I took it as a comment against Bruce's writing, and thus, a personal insult. As if to say that Bruce, who is supposed to write believable stories about common, everyday folk, is a fraud because he can't even get common baseball terms right.

My argument is that "speed ball" is the perfect term for the song. The song, after all, is about how we end up telling "boring stories of glory days" as we get older. Bruce, in character as the narrator, even admits:

And I hope when I get old I don't sit around thinkin' about it
But I probably will

It's a key point worth repeating that Bruce is in character. It isn't Bruce telling us this story, it's a character. And I've met guys like this character, talking about the glory days - just fish stories, really - and I've noticed certain things in their stories that just don't add up. Having the character in the song call it a "speed ball" only furthers the purpose that this song is, in large part, about telling boring stories. After all, what believability does a story have coming from a guy who doesn't even know the game well enough to call it a fast ball?

I know it's a stretch to believe someone might actually be so unknowledgeable as to use the term "speed ball," because most people over the age of twelve know enough about baseball to call it a "fast ball." But I've heard people call extra innings in baseball "overtime," so perhaps it's not that much of a stretch.

Bottom line is this: I think Bruce consciously chose "speed ball" over "fast ball" just to add a little more "fish story teller" touch to the character. I remember the professor from my undergrad course, Understanding Literature, saying that great writers do not waste words. I think Bruce has realized this, and at least after his first two albums, rarely wasted any words himself.

That said, please don't Google the lyrics to his song Reno. Pretty please.